


Subtle Changes

by Celianna



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: M/M, Smut, momokai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-30 04:03:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 58,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celianna/pseuds/Celianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They don’t look each other in the eye when they do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Momo's PoV

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably my longest fic for MomoKai, I was unable to prevent myself from writing more and more. There are two PoVs in this story, first is Momoshiro's and then is (the very long) Kaidoh's. Some day, I might actually continue this and add more, since there's a few unresolved questions and scenarios. Until then, enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> More MomoKai can be found under my name.

They're clothed as they do it. Yes, it might stain their shorts, or shirts, but Momoshiro's rule was to not take off any clothes. After all, they can easily do it while unzipping their pants. It's not like he desires to get naked with Kaidoh. That's disgusting.

Not that what he's doing right now isn't any less disgusting.

But he is, and so is Kaidoh.

They're sitting in front of each other, legs crossed and knees pressed up against each other. Each of their right hand is clasped around the other man's hard penis, sliding up in a jerky rhythm that has no finesse. They don't look each other in the eye when they do it, Momoshiro is too engrossed on concentrating on his own feelings to focus his eyes on anything at all. All he knows is to keep his hand moving, albeit shaky and increasingly losing strength. And did he mention his arm gets super tired? Kaidoh always takes forever to finish up, so it's Momoshiro who's the one with the cramps in his arm, and usually has to switch. Kaidoh always has it easy; Momoshiro never takes too long.

It is probably the main reason why they're still doing this, on Momoshiro's bed in the dark. For some reason, Kaidoh's hand feels different from his own, it's more calloused and rough, and his movement is unpredictable, which keeps Momoshiro on the tips of his toes, so to speak. It's not only the feel of Kaidoh's hand that is different, it's his entire technique—Momoshiro can't get enough of it. He grips him in just the right way, pulls at him hard enough to get him to suck in a breath, and twist and flicks his wrist to get starts to explode in Momoshiro's eyes. He's always rather unhinged whenever Kaidoh does this to him.

So just like that, Momoshiro throws his head back, exposing his neck to the air around them. He holds his breath as his eyes squeeze down in pleasure. He can feel Kaidoh scoot closer to him, and his fingers wrap even more tightly around his penis as he finally succumbs to the intense build-up and lets out his breath in tune with his own orgasm. Warm liquid shoots out from his glans, and he can feel it pool in Kaidoh's hand—that jerk is thoughtful enough to let him come in his hand, and not on his own shorts.

Momoshiro feels good and sweaty, and all he wants to do is kick Kaidoh off of his bed and lie down to sleep. But he can't. After all, it's a two-way street. Kaidoh does him, and he does Kaidoh, that's what they agreed on.

As Kaidoh wipes his hand clean with a tissue—they always have a box of tissues near them—Momoshiro huffs and switches hands; his right arm is too tired. But the good thing is, even if Kaidoh takes forever to finish, he doesn't keep him waiting for too long after Momoshiro is done. So Momoshiro grips Kaidoh's warm penis with his left hand, he feels it throb with hot blood. There's precum leaking everywhere; it always gives Momoshiro a kick to know Kaidoh likes this just as much as he goes. As he starts up his rhythm again, Kaidoh leans back on his hands, arching his hips into Momoshiro's hand, trying to get more friction. Even though it's dark, Momoshiro can still see the way Kaidoh moves, the raw emotion that flashes over his face as Momoshiro pulls at him.

But then he realizes it's kind of creepy to be watching Kaidoh like this, so he just focuses on the dirty work. That doesn't mean he can't hear it though, hear how much his actions have an effect on Kaidoh. His breath is ragged and heavy, he can't seem to be breathing in a normal pattern at all. Not when Momoshiro is doing this. His hand feels slick and sticky of Kaidoh's precum, but that does make it easier to slide over the skin, from the top down to the base. Then Momoshiro tilts his head to the side as he trails his fingers up to the top again, and squeezes it lightly with his thumb and index finger.

Immediately, Kaidoh's entire body shudders, and luckily Momoshiro is prepared to shield himself off as he quickly covers Kaidoh's penis with a tissue to lop up the sperm.

It's so weird. He doesn't know why Kaidoh likes it, but it's definitely intriguing how he seems to orgasm every time he does do it. It had been rather awkward when Kaidoh tried to show him the first time, but it's definitely worth it if he still wants to keep the feeling in both arms. He's tried to pinch him like that before Momoshiro came himself, but Kaidoh is weird and it didn't work. It seems like he just won't come until Momoshiro has. Maybe on an instinctual level, Kaidoh still sees it as a competition, and whoever comes first loses.

Obviously Momoshiro doesn't see it as a competition. He started it after all.

"Get off, you're taking too long," says Momoshiro. "I've gotta sleep so I can get up early to do the try-outs in the morning."

Kaidoh barely moves from his previous position, but does give Momoshiro an annoyed grunt.

"I'm going to kick you off if you won't move," Momoshiro says in a dead pan voice. Kaidoh's got his own bed, it's right across the room, so he doesn't need to keep sticking around.

This time, Kaidoh merely hisses, before he throws a crumpled up tissue at Momoshiro's face and then slips off of the bed and walks away.

"Asshole!" Momoshiro cries out, disgusted at the tissue touching his cheek. Gross. Now he needs to get up extra early for a longer shower. He grumbles and mumbles before he takes off his shirt and shorts, and goes to bed.

Being Kaidoh's roommate in college is hard.

****

**oOo**

"Why did you tell me to come here?" Kaidoh demands to know as Momoshiro finally exists the tennis courts. He looks annoyed and disgruntled. He probably ran here as soon as Momoshiro texted him to meet up him.

"Can't you see?" Momoshiro asks, bemused. He opens his arms to show Kaidoh the red racket clasped in his right hand.

"Congratulations, you know how to grip a stick," Kaidoh sneers.

Momoshiro doesn't think this is funny at all, and jabs Kaidoh in his ribs with the racket. "Asshole. I'm all pent up from training all this time, happy I got turned into a regular, and _this_ is how you show your congratulations?"

Kaidoh huffs and swats at the racket. "Fine. Congratulations, you also know how to play with balls."

This time, Momoshiro whacks Kaidoh on the head, and then they both start to throw punches at each other. It's stupid, and silly—and Momoshiro can't believe they still act like this even when they're in college—but it serves as a way for Momoshiro to get rid of his stress. He was actually nervous today, and roughhousing with Kaidoh like this always seems to calm him down. Their punches don't hurt _too_ much, but enough that it stings, yet somehow, it simply makes Momoshiro gleeful. He's laughing, too. Happy at being a regular on their tennis team, happy that Kaidoh came to see him anyway, despite ignoring his text message and showing up like a grump. At least, despite all of the changes they went through since middle school, this is a constant that hasn't changed. It's something Momoshiro has relied on, far too many times to count. The fighting, the wrestling; it makes Momoshiro forget about his troubles and only focus on Kaidoh.

And lately, it's also kind of making him horny.

When Kaidoh ends up on top of him, with the both of them sweaty and gasping for air, Momoshiro smiles up at him. "Let's go back to our room," is all he says. And Kaidoh gets it.

Like a routine they've practiced many times, they return to their dorm, and find themselves on Momoshiro's bed once more, hands groping the front of their shorts.

Momoshiro's palm rubs up against the bulge in Kaidoh's short, getting it hard. He can feel Kaidoh do the same, his fingers outlining the shape of his soft penis, and trailing his thumb up and down the fabric. It feels good. It always does. And despite his muscles aching from the tennis practice which he hasn't done in a while, Momoshiro picks up speed, until they're both hard and needy. No words need to be said, as both of them slips their hands down the shorts to take it out, in the open air. And they start, right hands stroking up and down. Kaidoh does that thing again where he flicks his wrist and rubs over the tip of Momoshiro's penis; it makes him produce even more precum, and it leaves him breathless.

He doesn't look Kaidoh in the eye. "You know, you should try out too," he says after taking in a deep breath.

Kaidoh hisses, probably annoyed Momoshiro is talking when they're doing this. But his rhythm is unchallenged, and they keep going up and down like nothing has disturbed it. "I'm already part of a club," he says in a curt voice.

"Yeah but," Momoshiro takes in a deep breath, "that's not tennis. That's just stupid running." He can feel Kaidoh's grip get together, as if he's getting irritated by what Momoshiro is insinuating.

"I like running," he grunts. "The track and field club is fine." He then pumps his hand up and down in a faster pace, as if he's telling Momoshiro to shut up and focus on this.

"But there's no sense of teamwork!" Momoshiro objects. His mind is getting hazier by the second; it's hard to muster up energy to talk and move his hand at the same time as Kaidoh jerks him off too. Why is he talking in the first place anyway? Even Momoshiro doesn't know. "All you do is run alone. Where's the challenge or teamwork in that," he says in a long exhaled breath. He breathes in again in a small gasp.

"Moron, ever heard of a relay race?" Kaidoh asks sarcastically. His nails scratch down the base of Momoshiro's penis, earning him a growl. Asshole.

"That's different ..." He closes his eyes and licks his lips. "Don't you miss it, playing." Yes, playing tennis with him. They were a good pair. They were a good captain and vice captain. They were unstoppable. "Playing with m—"

Suddenly there's a hand covering Momoshiro's mouth, and muffles his words. His eyes fly open and he stares at Kaidoh accusingly. "Can't you just shut up for now?" he says angrily.

Momoshiro huffs and shakes his head so that Kaidoh's hand drops from his mouth, and instead rests on the side of his neck. "Fine."

And with that, no more words are spoken. Unless small moans are words, then Momoshiro is guilty of that. It's hard not to, in fact, Momoshiro wishes he actually didn't make those embarrassing sounds. But again, Kaidoh's hand is just different from his own. It demands all of his attention, and it makes him feel all these bizarre yet amazing sensations. He's glad he proposed the deal in the first place. He didn't think it would feel better than his own hand, but it does. He can still feel Kaidoh's other hand, fingers wrapped around the base of his neck, and thumb pressed against his throat. That sort of feels good too, like he's restricting Momoshiro's airflow—controlling it, really—and that's kind of hot, too.

It doesn't take long for Momoshiro to climax, and when he does, he can feel Kaidoh's fingers tighten on both his penis and his throat, and that makes his entire body jolt at the sensation. He lets out a harsh groan and bucks his hips up into Kaidoh's hand while gasping for breath as he dirties up Kaidoh's hand with sperm. His heartbeat is thumping wildly in his chest, it's beating on his eardrums, loud and obnoxious. Like a presence he can't ignore. Just like he can't ignore Kaidoh, who is still all hot and bothered in front of him. He even tugs on Momoshiro's neck to get his attention back on him, so he can finish him off.

And he does. He switches hands of course, and does that thing where he pinches the tip, and not even two minutes later, Kaidoh's load is spilled in Momoshiro's hand as well. Then the entire room is filled up with nothing but shallow breaths. It stinks like sperm, too, and his hand feels nasty with Kaidoh's stickiness stuck on it, but Momoshiro tries to ignore that for just a few seconds.

He just wants to relax now, eyes closed and head thrown back. Kaidoh seems relaxed as well. This is how they spend most days together. They get to make each other feel good and relaxed, it's one of the smartest things Momoshiro has decided on before in his life.

Momoshiro's good mood slips away and he suddenly feels very self conscious about the way Kaidoh's hand is still wrapped around his neck and ... his fingers are buried in his sweaty hair? Ew.

Momoshiro pushes at Kaidoh's chest. "Stop touching me. Gross."

They're not supposed to be touching each other anywhere besides their dicks. That's the rule. Instead of trying to find the time and privacy to masturbate alone, they jerk each other off instead. No embarrassment. No walking in on another man's masturbation session. No trying to sneak off between classes for a quickie. No, it's just them, in their room, about once a day, relieving each other's pent of horniness.

And they agreed on no funny business. No touching. Definitely no kissing. Just jerk and move on, that's it. Which is why Kaidoh needs to back off already.

Kaidoh hisses, removing his hand and he moves to clean himself up with tissues. He throws the tissue box at Momoshiro as he leaves the bed. Momoshiro childishly sticks his tongue out at him. He really has a stick up his ass sometimes.

****

**oOo**

"Ahhhh ... all my muscles ache so baaaaad," Momoshiro complains as he drops down on his bed. It's 10 PM, and he just got finished with tennis training. Their schedule is so vigorous, even his old senpai, Inui, would be marveled at how one human being can train that much without their limbs falling off. Momoshiro himself is stunned that he's still put together.

Kaidoh's sitting at his desk, doing his homework with the help of a small desk lamp. He's in his traditional gear; sleeveless black shirt, white shorts and a blue bandana. He didn't change much after middle school. Except for those biceps. Man, those got really big. Kaidoh lifts his stupid dumbbells every morning, that must be why they're so big. Maybe Momoshiro should use them too sometimes, when Kaidoh's not watching. Kaidoh doesn't like it when he touches his stuff. Then maybe he wouldn't be aching all over like this after tennis practice.

"You stink, take a shower," Kaidoh says.

Momoshiro grumbles something in his pillow before he lifts up his head to glare at Kaidoh's back. "Too tired to take one. I'll take one when I get up. You know, my captain is absolutely nuts. I swear, give him a whip, and he'd be the pure incarnation of the devil himself. Crazy."

Kaidoh turns his chair around so he can smirk at Momoshiro. "You're just too weak. All that slacking off that you've done has finally come back to bite you in the ass. You deserve it."

"What! Come here asshole, I'll show you how much I've been slacking off." He balls up his fist and lazily lifts up his arm at Kaidoh. It hurts all of his muscles, and he winces when he does it.

"Like I said, you're weak," Kaidoh repeats in a loud voice.

"Just come over here already," Momoshiro whines. He doesn't want to move much, so Kaidoh has to be the one to do the moving.

"I'm busy." Kaidoh turns his chair around again.

"So what, you can be busy later." Momoshiro rolls his eyes. "Come on, it's so late already, I'm gonna fall asleep like this if I don't do anything."

Kaidoh impatiently taps his pencil against the desk, looking over at his notebook. "Then why don't you go to sleep."

"Because." Because he can't just say; wanna jerk off? In all these months that they've been doing it, it's always been a wordless agreement to do it. Body language was all the language that was needed to convey the message. So why the hell is Kaidoh being so difficult right now? Momoshiro huffs and finally sits up straight, leaning his back against the wall. "It'll give me the workout that I need," he says. Well, it's true, all that up and down stuff ... that's tiring!

Kaidoh's body moves, but then stops, like he's changed his mind. Momoshiro sees him shake his head just the tiniest bit. "No, you smell like a dead fish."

Momoshiro groans out loud. He wants to punch Kaidoh in the face, but he's got no energy to do even that. "Fine. Whatever. You keep doing your stupid homework."

"I will."

"Asshole."

Kaidoh lowers his head again to continue scribbling in his notebook, and Momoshiro sits and glares at him. Can't he see he's horny and wants some release? He's already half hard from anticipation! After that hellish training he had to endure today, he figured Kaidoh could jerk him off and relieve some of the pressure, and get him to experience some fun times instead. But no, that stupid snake is being difficult and putting his homework ahead of Momoshiro himself. That's stupid. Momoshiro should always come first.

He chuckles at his own train of thoughts; yes, he _does_ always come first, doesn't he? Well then, if Kaidoh won't do it, then ...

"What are you doing?" Kaidoh's turned away from the desk again, staring at Momoshiro.

"What's it look like," says Momoshiro flippantly. He's got one hand down his shorts and stroking his hard erection. This time he looks Kaidoh in the eye as he does it. He's completely and unabashedly shameless.

"That's disgusting."

Momoshiro sticks his nose up, bumping his head against the wall, and he continues his business. Kaidoh's staring at it, at his hand moving underneath the fabric. It's a little weird, and it feels a bit like that time Kaidoh walked in on him—which is what prompted the whole thing in the first place—but hey, they've done this together already and were fine with it. Kaidoh should be alright with it if Momoshiro simply does it alone as well.

But he'd rather Kaidoh do it. His own hand is just not the same ... Sure he knows exactly what he wants, but he knows every move he makes, nothing feels exciting or fresh, or unexpected. It feels boring and stale, and Momoshiro realizes he's been way too dependent on Kaidoh for handjobs. But he can't go without them now, not when he knows what it feels like. His own hand is just inadequate right now. Though it's still enough to make him hard, and the way Kaidoh is still staring at him, makes something swell up in the bottom of his stomach. It might just be his hormones, wanting Kaidoh's hand to be the one doing the stroking, yeah, it's his hormones. That's why he kind of digs it now that Kaidoh's watching him.

This is making Momoshiro really tired though. The muscles in his arm ache, since that's also his tennis arm. Maybe he needs to learn to jerk himself off with his left hand. Then again, he wouldn't even need to if Kaidoh would just get up and use his own damn hand.

"Dumbass," says Kaidoh, ending it with a hiss as he gets up from his chair and stalks his way over to Momoshiro's bed.

Momoshiro smirks up at Kaidoh as he crawls onto the bed, his knees sinking into the mattress. "Sure took you long enough," he says. Maybe he can get away with just Kaidoh jerking him off, and then he can go to sleep without moving a muscle. Though he's sure Kaidoh won't like that idea.

Suddenly Kaidoh's hand is on his wrist, halting Momoshiro's movement. He tugs at it, to remove his hand from his shorts, all in a very lethargic way. Well, maybe that's because Momoshiro is feeling very sluggish at the moment. Kaidoh looks kind of strange, so Momoshiro looks away. Staring at him as Kaidoh's fondling through his shorts is just _weird_. But then he forgets about any weirdness, and simply bites down on his lips as Kaidoh gets to work and falls into routine. That same rough and calloused hand is back on his penis and stroking it in that unpredictable way that Momoshiro likes.

The tension in his muscles disappear, and Momoshiro feels his entire body relax at Kaidoh's touch.

But oh wait, Kaidoh wants some action too, probably. Why else would he be doing Momoshiro? Momoshiro's left arm lifts up from the mattress and he tries to reach for Kaidoh's waistband, but that idiot is sitting too far away from him. So he gives up on his pathetic attempt to magically pull Kaidoh closer to him.

"Get closer," Momoshiro whines. "I'm too lazy to reach over that far."

Kaidoh says nothing, but simply moves around until he's _really_ close to Momoshiro. He's sitting in between Momoshiro's legs, Kaidoh's knees tucked under his own, and sitting so close their crotches are almost like Siamese twins. Momoshiro wants to tell him to back off, since that's _too_ close for comfort, but his fatigue is getting the better of him, and he can't seem to use his vocal cords anymore. Instead, all he does is focus on the sensations of Kaidoh's hand rubbing up and down, pulling the skin of the head, and flicking his wrist again. It feels good, it feels really good.

So good that Momoshiro falls asleep during it.

****

**oOo**

He hadn't really meant to do that. Falling asleep. Momoshiro didn't even know that it happened in the first place, not until he was at tennis practice the next day, and wondering why he felt even more horny than normal, despite getting a handjob from Kaidoh yesterday. That's when he realized he couldn't remember much, and that he had in fact, fallen asleep during it.

Well.

That's actually rather embarrassing.

It's not like it _bored_ him or something, Momoshiro was just really, really tired, and Kaidoh's hand felt really, really good—a bad combination so it seems. He wonders if Kaidoh's pissed at him, he was already gone from the room when he woke up this morning. But can he really blame him? He should know they do this to relax, so obviously it would be relaxing him enough to ... to sleep! Obviously.

Then again, it's not like he can really say; sorry I fell asleep on you, I'll make it up to you by giving you two handjobs. That's gross. Besides, it's not like this agreement is set in stone or anything. They never did mention _both_ of them had to get a handjob. In fact, as Momoshiro can remember, it was something like 'do me, I'll do you'. He didn't say _at the same time._ So he should be in the clear. Maybe.

Probably not.

Yet strangely enough, Kaidoh doesn't seem mad at him when he sees him again in their room. He looks rather ... normal. And by normal he means, Kaidoh looks grumpy. They go about their business as normal. Momoshiro is actually writing his paper on his laptop for once, and Kaidoh keeps himself busy by lifting up his dumbbells. Momoshiro stops writing for a few seconds to tell a funny joke about how dumb those dumbbells are, and snickers at his own cleverness. Kaidoh says nothing, and continues to ignore Momoshiro for the rest of the day. They go to bed without any sort of action between them at all.

And the next day, it goes just as uneventfully as before. Nothing happens, and Momoshiro lies in bed feeling frustrated.

Okay, so Kaidoh is definitely mad about him falling asleep on the job, or err, handjob—but that wasn't his fault! It was just too relaxing ... kind of like that time when Kaidoh took him on his back to climb a mountain, and he fell asleep as well; it was comfy. He can't blame him for that! Stupid Kaidoh. He can't go on some sort of strike with this, that's stupid, and annoying, and Momoshiro is getting blue balls here.

Wait, he can just do it on his own, he doesn't need Kaidoh to do him!

Yes, he can masturbate while Kaidoh is away.

But when he's all alone on his bed, with his hand down his pants, he feels nothing but frustration. This is just not the same, not at all. He's angry at Kaidoh for ignoring him. Angry that he suddenly stopped doing this thing between them. It was going so well, too! So why is he being so difficult? Ugh, this is stupid. Momoshiro ends up not masturbating at all, but angrily throws Kaidoh's dumbbells around until he's too tired to move.

And this continues for a long, long week.

Momoshiro is sick of it. Kaidoh's barely said a few words to him, he's obviously still mad about what happened before. He won't even look him in the eye anymore. Whenever they're together in their room, Kaidoh grows eerily silent, even the scribbling on his paper ceases to make sound. It's so awkward now. Momoshiro just wants to punch Kaidoh for being a dick, but when he's not directly being provoked, it feels kind of weird and unfair, so he does nothing instead. But now he's seriously sick of it. Something has to happen, something has to change—because by god, Momoshiro won't die due of an extreme case of blue balls. They haven't even fought with each other! And that's just _weird_. Fighting has always been their thing.

On the tennis court, Momoshiro releases all his frustrations on the ball, hitting his famous dunk smash as hard as he can, and actually knocking a guy on the head with it. He has to be rushed to the infirmary, but whatever, he was just in the way. Momoshiro feels no remorse. Except that he wishes that guy had been Kaidoh, that would have made him feel better. Hurting Kaidoh.

He's so focused on his little fantasy of hitting Kaidoh with tennis balls, that it takes Momoshiro a minute or two before he realizes he's being watched. After a week of not looking each other in the eye, he finally does look right at Kaidoh, who is sort of hiding behind the corner of the clubhouse. What the hell is he doing here? When Kaidoh realizes Momoshiro has spotted him, he makes a run for it; he's wearing his track and field uniform. Momoshiro can't let this go though, and gives chase. Unfortunately, Kaidoh really does prove to be a member of the track and field, because he's easily ditched Momoshiro behind, gasping for breath and hugging his aching side.

"Damn you Kaidoh!" he yells out loud, but Kaidoh's already gone to hear anything at all. That's it. He's going to confront Kaidoh the moment he steps foot in their room again..

So Momoshiro waits, sitting on the chair, facing the door, ready to spring up at a moment's notice.

And he waits ...

And he's been waiting until midnight—he's going to be skipping his first two classes just to catch up on some sleep—when he finally hears footsteps approaching the door. Momoshiro stands up straight in a flash, and he rushes to the door, hands outstretched to get ready to grab Kaidoh. His fingers have been itching to touch him for a long time now, to scratch him, to punch him, and perhaps strangle him as well. The door finally opens and Kaidoh doesn't know what's coming to him as Momoshiro lunges forward and pulls Kaidoh in. He slams Kaidoh up against the door, making it shut all at once, and he growls at him, his hands gripping tightly on the collar of his shirt. His entire body is shoved up against Kaidoh's so he can't escape this confrontation.

"What the hell man!?" Momoshiro yells at him.

Kaidoh squirms and wiggles around, trying to get free, and completely avoiding looking at Momoshiro as well.

"You were avoiding me, weren't you?" Momoshiro say through gritted teeth. "You never come home this late."

"I was being held back at the club, you moron. Now let me go," Kaidoh finally says, and Momoshiro realizes he's missed hearing his grouchy voice. It felt so strange to not hear it all week long, so hearing it now makes Momoshiro feel less aggressive, and he loosens his fingers on Kaidoh's collar just by a little.

"Liar. What were you doing today at the tennis courts, huh?" Momoshiro demands to know.

Kaidoh growls this time as well, and then tries to pry Momoshiro's hands off of his shirt, but Momoshiro won't let go, not until he's got some answers. "What's it to you, asshole," he sneers back.

"When you're watching me, of course it's my business to know why you were!"

"Of course I w-wasn't watching you, idiot," Kaidoh says nervously. Again he tries to escape from Momoshiro, his body wriggling against Momoshiro's, and that's a little too much rubbing for comfort ... especially since they haven't done it in over a week. It's making Momoshiro feel weak to his knees.

"Then why were you there?" Momoshiro asks. He wants to know. He wants to know why Kaidoh won't look him in the eye either.

"The club was just running around campus, now let me go!"

"No!" Momoshiro still pushes against Kaidoh's body with a lot of force, he won't back down. Not until things get resolved. "Why won't you look me in the eye? Are you really that angry about last time?" There, he said it. It's out in the open now. The ball is in Kaidoh's court.

Finally Kaidoh musters up enough strength (probably because he's the one who's been lifting dumbbells and not Momoshiro) to push Momoshiro off of him, and he stumbles away from the door. He takes in a deep breath and yanks his bandana off his head, throwing it onto his bed. "I'm not fucking angry, you idiot," Kaidoh says grouchily.

Momoshiro huffs and then jabs his elbow into Kaidoh's back, earning a yelp from him. "Sure you're not, that's why you haven't spoken more than a few words to me lately, huh?"

"Shut up, it's all your fault anyway!" Kaidoh growls and turns around, this time shoving up against Momoshiro and pinning _him_ against the door. His fist digs into his ribcage, fabric clenched into his hand, and that kind of gets Momoshiro's hormones all jumbled up, because he can't wait to do it again, not with Kaidoh this aggressive with him. He's already getting hard at all this touching and shoving and yelling ... it's kind of gross.

"What, how's it my fault?" Momoshiro asks, suddenly oblivious to the fact that _he's_ the one who fell asleep.

"It just is. Asshole. You shouldn't have fallen asleep," Kaidoh mumbles.

"Whatever, I was tired, and it felt good, you can't blame me for that," Momoshiro admits. It's weird to say that out loud, as he's never voiced his thoughts like this before. He's never told Kaidoh he liked it, or that it felt good, so for some reason, that's making him feel a bit embarrassed at admitting it. Especially since Kaidoh's right up in his face, and he seems embarrassed about it too.

"It's not ... Just don't fall asleep again, asshole," Kaidoh grunts out, giving a little push at Momoshiro's chest.

"Okay, I get it—you wanted some too, fine, here you go, I'm sorry for forgetting you," says Momoshiro as he rolls his eyes, then pries his arm between them to grope Kaidoh's crotch. As soon as his hand touches it, he feels Kaidoh flinch and back off just a little.

"What are you doing!?" Kaidoh asks in a frantic voice.

"What's it looks like? Here, I'll do you as an apology for falling asleep last time." Momoshiro starts to move his hand to stroke the bulge in Kaidoh's track shorts. Ahh, he's actually missed this, too. Obviously he likes it when Kaidoh jerks him off more, but this is fun as well.

"Don't ..." Kaidoh sighs and knocks his head against Momoshiro's forehead. "Just say things like that so shamelessly."

"Fine, I'll shut up." For once, Momoshiro doesn't mind the close proximity to Kaidoh's body, even if he can feel Kaidoh's warm breath on his lips, and he can feel how sweaty Kaidoh's arms and legs are. In fact, he doesn't mind it at all right now, as Kaidoh's body is slumped against him, and the tension in Kaidoh's body finally seems to unwind as Momoshiro gets more daring with his hand. Even Momoshiro feels tension disappear in his own body; all that pent up anger and confusion he had for the past week is finally being tended to.

Kaidoh leans in closer, resting his chin on top of Momoshiro's shoulder, and he can feel his breath come out in short bursts with each dramatic stroke Momoshiro makes. His warm hand continues to be a presence on Momoshiro's chest, fingers padding into the fabric of his shirt. It's a bit weird like this—he did have a no touching rule—but he'll let it slide this time. After all, it _was_ sort of his fault for falling asleep last time. Besides, it's kind of funny how much Kaidoh is using Momoshiro's body as support to keep him up, he seems to be shaking too. That's odd as well, does he usually tremble like this? Momoshiro doesn't know, as most of the times they were not exactly pressed up against each other like this, they were always a safe enough distance away. A distance that made sure Momoshiro couldn't feel Kaidoh's breath, smell his sweat, or feel his hand anywhere else besides on his own dick.

Momoshiro maneuvers his hand around a bit, trying to stuff it down Kaidoh's track shorts—it's a bit hard to do so when he's leaning so much against him—and when he does manage to pry his fingers under the waistband, he comes into contact with the hot skin of Kaidoh's penis. The top is already wet, and he can feel Kaidoh's heartbeat pulsate through it like a steady drumbeat. Kaidoh's hair tickles Momoshiro's cheek, but he tries to ignore it by pulling away from it a little, stretching out his neck. This somehow gave Kaidoh an invitation to turn his own head, and breathe down on Momoshiro's neck. His lips are brushing up against Momoshiro's collar bone, slightly parting each time to take in some air. It sends electric and jittery shocks down Momoshiro's spine, and he feels even weirder like this.

That's too much touching, too much!

And yet, Momoshiro can't stop touching Kaidoh in return, his hand frantically going up and down, slippery with precum, and making himself really, really horny. He bites down on his own lip to prevent himself from telling Kaidoh to get to work as well, because he knows he just offered him a free handjob, and he can't take that back. But he also really wants to tell him to; dude, back off. He's kind of heavy, and this is kind of weird, and yet strangely enough making him rock hard.

Momoshiro is a bit startled when he feels Kaidoh digging his hips into him, slightly rocking back and forth to generate more friction between his penis and Momoshiro's hand. Sure, he's done this before, rolling his hips along with Momoshiro's strokes, but that was when they were sitting a safe distance away from each other. Right now, Kaidoh is just rocking into Momoshiro's body, and it's sort of stimulating his own erection, and that makes Momoshiro forgive all the weirdness of this situation; his judgment is a bit impaired. He's horny as fuck, and Kaidoh's hips are relentless and rubbing just the right angles that Momoshiro feels good as well. Really good. Why were they not doing this the entire week again?

They continue like this for a bit, lost in the momentum of sloppy stroking, and swaying hips, that Momoshiro forgets about pushing Kaidoh off of him, for having him way too close. After all, each time Kaidoh's thigh brushes up against the tip of Momoshiro's erection, all he wants is for Kaidoh to do it again.

But this blissful state doesn't last for too long, where Momoshiro in unaware of the weirdness of it all. It doesn't take long for Kaidoh's body to start shaking a lot, his hips snapping against Momoshiro's even harder, and his short bursts of breaths suddenly turn into these whiny and moaning gasps. Since Kaidoh's so close, Momoshiro hears it ring in his ears, like the entire room is an amplifier, and suddenly that's all he can hear; Kaidoh being needy, and unable to control himself like this. All because Momoshiro is touching him like this. The hand that was resting on Momoshiro's chest has turned into Kaidoh's support, as he desperately digs his fingers into the fabric to cling on. Momoshiro barely even registers that his other hand is clawing at Momoshiro's arm to keep him up straight as well. Almost every part of them is touching, and it's really kind of gross, and yet he can't stop jerking Kaidoh off. He doesn't push him off. He doesn't go; ew, gross dude!

No, instead, those little gasps escaping from Kaidoh's mouth are encouraging him on, like he realizes he's making Kaidoh feel _really_ good. And holding that sort of power over him makes Momoshiro feel like he's on some kind of high. Maybe he's on drugs. Maybe Kaidoh is his drug, because for some reason, he can't get enough of hearing those sounds. And Kaidoh's body pressing up against him like this, stimulating his own forgotten erection, is throwing his mind into a tizzy, and all he wants to do is dry hump Kaidoh until he orgasms.

And since it's been over a week since they last did this, Momoshiro doesn't take long to ejaculate.

It all happens so fast. One snap of Kaidoh's hips connecting with his own, coupled with a throaty moan coming from Kaidoh's mouth, and Momoshiro is so overwhelmed with sensations, he just lets himself go, and completely dirties both his underwear and shorts. He grips Kaidoh's penis tighter as he squeezes his eyes shut at the sensations, unable to focus on anything else at the moment. He releases his own breath, and then—due to complete muscle memory—his fingers pinch the head of Kaidoh's penis, and immediately his hand is stained in a small pool of stickiness. Kaidoh's harsh breathing against his neck hits him like a heatwave, and Momoshiro sort of feels like he's lost in a desert, he feels way too hot, way too sticky with sweat.

Sticky everywhere, really.

It's the first time they climaxed at around the same time. It's also the first time they did it while being so close, with the no touchy rule being completely broken, and for those few blissful seconds, Momoshiro doesn't give a rat's ass about that rule.

But that's only for a few seconds.

Then it dawns on him how awkward this is. How Kaidoh's sweaty body is using him as support, how his hands are clinging onto him that is so un-Kaidoh-like, it's as if he's showing his weak and vulnerable side to Momoshiro, and it's kind of freaking him out.

"G-get off, you're way too sticky," Momoshiro manages to say with a dry throat, and he pushes Kaidoh away using the door behind him as leverage.

The tips of Momoshiro's ears are burning red. He doesn't know why he suddenly feels completely embarrassed, and also a bit guilty and ashamed. All he knows is that his hand is covered in Kaidoh's junk, his own underwear is uncomfortably wet, and he can't look Kaidoh in the eye at all. Kaidoh grunts and he backs off, turning around to retreat to his side of the room and cleaning up after himself without a word.

Momoshiro stands there slumped against the door, feeling like all the energy was zapped right out of him.

After that, everything changed.

****

**oOo**

Well, it wasn't a drastic change or anything.

But their routine has definitely evolved into something ... more? Different? They were subtle changes. Momoshiro doesn't know how to describe it. At any cost, Kaidoh has stopped ignoring him, and aside from the occasional homework excuse, they jerk each other off almost every day. That part still hasn't changed. What did change, is the places it happens at. It had never progressed beyond their bedroom—it was a private thing that no one could know about, and it would be weird to start meeting up outside of it, as if Momoshiro's too horny to wait or something.

But that's what happened.

It turns out, Kaidoh wasn't lying when he said his club would run around campus, and they did actually run near the tennis courts, because after that, Momoshiro kept spotting them in the distance, and would be completely distracted from his own training. He kept scanning the members for that idiot wearing a bandana, and luckily he's never hard to pick out from a crowd. Long legs moving amongst the mass of other people, showing his very well trained calf muscles—that's not to say Kaidoh forgets to train his arms or anything, he's definitely got biceps to brag about. Stupid Kaidoh. He trains too much. Maybe Momoshiro should stop staring already and resume his own training.

Somehow, they kept meeting up whenever Kaidoh's club would approach the tennis courts. It's like Momoshiro couldn't control himself anymore, and that anytime he saw Kaidoh's stupid calf muscles, he'd have this uncontrollable urge to jerk off. And what better way to get off, than with Kaidoh himself?

That's how they started to do it behind the clubhouse, away from anyone's view, as discreetly as possible. Because this was different than doing it in the privacy of their own bedroom, they had to be quiet, not make a lot of noise, and not try to look so suspicious. This resulted in either one of them being pinned against the wall, as the other rammed his hips into him—there wasn't much time for using hands. It was a quick and dirty solution, one that still left Momoshiro frustrated if their session was cut short because someone was about to walk in on them. Obviously he had to remedy this by getting Kaidoh to finish him off later in their room.

And that's the strangest thing about it ... not the fact they started doing it outside of their room, but it's what happened on the inside that's confusing Momoshiro a little bit. After that one time, where he jerked Kaidoh off as he was trapped against the door, Kaidoh has taken the liberty to ... hang all over him as they do it. Well, not exactly hang all over, but he's definitely closing the safe distance between them. Sometimes he'd place his hand on Momoshiro's chest or shoulder for support. Sometimes he'd lean his forehead against Momoshiro's, eyes closed and breathing loudly. He was definitely crossing the no touchy rule, but it was not as horrible as Momoshiro would have thought, mostly because they seemed to be innocent gestures. A bit uncomfortable, and weird, but he was okay with it.

Even their positions have changed. Instead of sitting in front of each other, legs crossed and right hands around the other man's penis—sometimes they change it up by lying on each other's sides, so that Momoshiro's facing Kaidoh's crotch and vice versa. Not because they're doing ... _that_ , but because it's a comfortable position. And this way, they can completely avoid looking at each other's faces. Eye contact is at an all-time minimum in this position, so Momoshiro likes it.

Except it also makes him extremely curious. With Kaidoh's dick up in his face so much, he's gotten the chance to study it a bit, to see how much different it is from his own. It's a bit thicker in width than Momoshiro himself, but he takes glee in the fact that he's just the tiniest bit bigger than Kaidoh. Not that he has told Kaidoh this or anything, that's one thing he won't gloat about, because he doesn't want Kaidoh to like, punch him in the balls as he's so vulnerable in that position. So he keeps it to himself. But then the other thoughts start rolling in; is Kaidoh looking at his, too? What does Kaidoh think about it? He better not think it's gross or anything! His dick is awesome.

Anyways, back to this new position. Momoshiro won't lie; he's thought about it a bunch of times. Blowjobs, that is. What else is Kaidoh's mouth useful for? And it's _right_ there, and after hearing so much about this mythical blowjob, that it's really been on Momoshiro's mind constantly. What would it feel like? Kind of gross? Kind of good? He bet it would feel good. He likes Kaidoh's warm hand wrapped around his penis, obviously it's not that much of a stretch to think it'll feel good if he's got his mouth wrapped around it instead, and ... damn, he really wants to do it, but he doesn't know how to bring it up.

And it's not like he's going to do it first—ew, that's just gross. Momoshiro feels no need to start sucking Kaidoh off, even if it's right there in his face. They're still _guys_ after all, and he is in no way attracted to that part of Kaidoh. Obviously he has no objections if Kaidoh does it.

Now to just get him to do it in the first place ...

They're behind the clubhouse, frantically dry humping each other, and Momoshiro's mind is elsewhere again—thinking about blowjobs. Thinking about what it would feel like if Kaidoh's lips were going up and down his penis instead of his hand. To feel that warmth engulf him ... man he wants to try it out so bad. He'll even let Kaidoh hang all over him in return, he seems to enjoy doing that anyway.

As usual, when they're doing it outside, their bodies are melted together, in fear of someone spotting them, so they try to make themselves as small as possible. It's annoying, but Momoshiro's gotten used to it, besides, the rush of someone finding out about them makes him forget about that entire rule he set up to not touch each other. Like this, it's okay, he guesses. It was sort of inevitable anyway. And for Kaidoh? He's been using it as the opportunity to shove Momoshiro up against the wall and bury his face into his neck. At least they don't have to see each other's faces like this. He can tolerate it, for now.

Momoshiro would really rather Kaidoh's face be somewhere else though. And then it just slips out. "Kaidoh, I want you to suck me off."

Kaidoh's body stills, and he lifts up his head to stare at Momoshiro.

Wait, did he say that out loud? Oh crap.

And within a second, Momoshiro finds out why he shouldn't have said that out loud. Kaidoh knees him in the groin and punches him in the stomach all at once. He leaves him gasping for breath on the ground and in the fetal position to return to his own club.

****

**oOo**

"You didn't have to hit me in the balls, you know," Momoshiro says with disdain in his voice as Kaidoh walks into the room and closes the door behind him. His hair is wet and slicked back; he probably just got out of a bath. He spots Momoshiro and hisses at him. This just pisses Momoshiro off even more. "Hey, I'm talking to you, you stupid snake."

"Shut up you dumbass. Don't ask me weird questions, and I won't have to hit you for it," Kaidoh says. He plops down on the chair at his desk that's in between both their beds.

Momoshiro rolls his eyes. "It's not _that_ weird," he says defensively. Well, maybe just a little.

Kaidoh scoffs at him. "You're right. It was disgusting. So how about you shut up and leave me alone."

"What, you're not even going to tell me what's so disgusting about it? It's not any different than using our hands, you know," Momoshiro tries to explain. He knows what Kaidoh means though; he doesn't exactly want to touch Kaidoh's junk with his mouth either.

"We use our mouths to _eat_ , Momoshiro. And in your case, you also use it so say incredibly dumb stuff every single time it opens."

"Hey!" Momoshiro gets up from his bed and angrily walks over to Kaidoh to shove him off the chair. Or at least, tries to, but Kaidoh catches his wrist and squeezes it hard. "I don't say dumb stuff!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!" Momoshiro breaks free and pushes at Kaidoh's chest.

Kaidoh sneers at him and gets up from the chair, and shoves back at Momoshiro's chest as well, causing him to stumble back and land on his bed with his butt. Annoying stupid snake.

"And I'll do it too," Momoshiro says in a voice that sounds far too desperate for his tastes. He didn't mean to come off sounding so stupid and needy, as if he needs to bribe Kaidoh to do it or something.

"Do I _look_ like I want you too!?" Kaidoh yells.

Momoshiro shrugs. "What, are you actually going to say no to my offer to do it in return?" Kaidoh remains silent, and lets his grouchy expression do all the talking. "That's what I thought."

"I'm not going to touch that disgusting thing with my mouth. No way in hell. You probably haven't even showered, and you're probably full of those STD things or something," says Kaidoh and he crosses his arms over his chest, as if he's suddenly grossed out to be near Momoshiro.

Momoshiro's mouth drops open. "STD!? What the hell Kaidoh—where'd you get that idea?" Kaidoh looks at him pointedly, as if it's obvious Momoshiro's got an STD stamped on his forehead. "I don't!" he says defensively, completely insulted and repulsed by the idea. "I've never even had sex with anyone—how would I get an STD you jerk!?"

Kaidoh backs up, blinking down at him with a confounded expression on his face. "You haven't?"

And then Momoshiro realizes the cat is out of the bag; now Kaidoh knows for sure Momoshiro is a complete virgin. Back when they had just entered the same college, Momoshiro had bragged about some girl he had sex with during high school, and then he proceeded to make fun of Kaidoh for still being a virgin. It was of course, a complete fabrication, done in the spur of the moment. Momoshiro just couldn't shut his mouth anymore after he started talking. It's all Kaidoh's fault. He looked so proud and happy and content with himself, it made Momoshiro want to punch him and point out he's better than Kaidoh anyway, and that he had been perfectly fine without him in high school as well.

Yes it was stupid, yes he's childish, hence why Momoshiro is squirming on the bed right now.

"Liar—you told me yourself in the beginning of the school year," says Kaidoh.

"I lied—okay? I lied," Momoshiro admits, feeling his cheeks heat up. "When I saw you were accepted into that stupid club of yours straight away, I felt like I needed to brag about something too ... or whatever. I just couldn't let you beat me." And he just couldn't stand the fact that Kaidoh was completely fine without Momoshiro. They went to different high schools, and seeing how much Momoshiro _didn't_ affect his life, kind of stung. Didn't it mean anything when they ran the tennis club together? Did Kaidoh move on completely, forgetting about Momoshiro entirely, and showing how happy and successful he was without him?

Ugh, why is he thinking about this now, this is stupid. "I just had to say something. Eternal rivalry and all that shit, you know?"

"... By saying you were promiscuous?"

"That's not what I implied!"

"... And then you came up with that disgusting idea for us, too."

"Shut up! It's not like I planned to do that!" Momoshiro huffs, his entire face now red. "I just ... couldn't let anyone know. We're in college, you look like a complete loser if you haven't had sex yet." At least, that's his excuse. Maybe he just wanted to see Kaidoh's reaction. Maybe he wanted to prove to Kaidoh he was absolutely fine without him, too. Maybe.

"Are you saying I'm a loser?" Kaidoh growls.

"Well that much was clear," Momoshiro says with a snort. He quickly shields his head with his arms when he sees Kaidoh raise a fist at him. "I'm sorry, okay! Geez, you don't have to act like it's such a big deal. It doesn't change anything."

Kaidoh lowers his fist, and takes a long hard minute to stare at Momoshiro with his piercing eyes, as if he's trying to wish that the ground would swallow Momoshiro up. "So you didn't?" he asks after the silence was deafening Momoshiro's ears.

He shakes his head. "I didn't."

"You didn't."

"That's what I said."

Kaidoh slams his fist down on top of Momoshiro's head, inducing an immediate headache. "Moron. Don't lie about stupid stuff. What are you, five?"

Momoshiro tries to get back at Kaidoh by pulling him closer, using his shirt, so he can hit him too, but all it results in is clawing at Kaidoh's abs of steels. Fuck him for having those too. He's such a fitness freak. "Shut up, it doesn't matter. Now you know. So no, you idiot, I don't have any STDs, that's fucking stupid."

Kaidoh slaps Momoshiro's hands away from his shirt with a huff. "Congratulations, you're disease free. Too bad you can't also cure idiocy."

"Why you!"

Momoshiro leaps forwards, hands ready to grab Kaidoh's shirt, and then pulls him down to his level, causing Kaidoh to fall on top of him, crashing onto the bed and trapping him. This wasn't exactly the position he had hoped for, but it'll do, now he could easily knee Kaidoh in the groin as payback. But he doesn't, instead Kaidoh's body is looming over him, hands pressed into the mattress besides his head, and Kaidoh's face is right above his own, just _staring_ at him. Little drops of water slide down his wet hair and fall down on Momoshiro's cheek, but it doesn't faze either of them. Momoshiro is still gripping his shirt, and suddenly feels awkward about having them there. It's been a while since he's looked Kaidoh in the eye this close up, and for some reason, it's making Momoshiro feel a little weak, like Kaidoh's taking away his power just by staring at him again. Kaidoh's dark blue eyes are widened with his pupils dilated and they refuse to look away. Momoshiro doesn't have it in him to break eye contact either, he's a bit breathless right now.

The plan to knee Kaidoh right where it hurts suddenly stops mattering.

There is this weird and unusual feeling welling up inside of Momoshiro. He can feel his heart start to race, his skin heating up, and it's getting harder to breathe. This is different from the other times—this is not the same as him simply being horny (he won't deny that he is, though), but Momoshiro doesn't know what it is. Doesn't know what prompts him to keep staring back at Kaidoh without challenging him to a fight. Kaidoh himself refuses to budge or say anything at all as well, simply keeping himself upright so he won't smother Momoshiro with his body. And suddenly, that idea doesn't sound so bad to Momoshiro. But it should, it should sound bad, and it should make him feel repulsed to have any sort of craving to touch Kaidoh without the intent to hurt.

Yet there he is, staring right back at Kaidoh, and not saying a word, not moving a muscle, both hands still holding onto Kaidoh's shirt like a lifeline.

Slowly, Momoshiro loosens his grip, a bit confused and a little anxious too about what to do, like he doesn't know if he should continue to hold Kaidoh like he means business, or push him off, or just let Kaidoh decide himself. His fingers are shaking slightly all of the sudden, and Momoshiro gulps, blinking up at Kaidoh. Another droplet splatters down onto his forehead. It feels like this moment is lasting an eternity.

Then Kaidoh's mouth opens, lips slowly parting from each other, and he looks like he wants to say something, but can only manage to produce air, suddenly frozen. What he was going to bring up stills on his trembling lips, and he takes in a shaky breath instead. Momoshiro takes one with him, and his fingers fan out flat against Kaidoh's chest. He can feel the slightest movement of muscle as Kaidoh leans into his touch, and then he backs off just as fast, and is quick to scramble off of Momoshiro, and turns his back on him. It's like seeing the back of a stranger.

Momoshiro feels dizzy.

"I'm not going to do it, you pig," says Kaidoh.

Momoshiro stares up at the ceiling. Just what the heck happened?

****

**oOo**

"I'm gonna ..." Momoshiro inhales sharply. "Have a match playing soon."

Kaidoh ignores Momoshiro's attempt at starting a conversation as they're hastily jerking each other off behind the clubhouse.

"Want you to come," Momoshiro sighs.

"Huh?" Kaidoh's movements slow down as he looks up at Momoshiro. " _Now?_ " he asks, confused.

Momoshiro growls at him, forcefully shoving his hips into him. "Idiot, I'm talking about my match."

Kaidoh pushes himself into Momoshiro's body as well, hisses right into his ear. "Shut up already." He buries his face into the crook of Momoshiro's neck. It's sending pleasant tingles down Momoshiro's neck.

"But it's going to be in two da—hmpf." Kaidoh's hand is suddenly covering Momoshiro's mouth, stifling his voice. He jerks him off even harder, in a faster pace that's almost painful, to show he means business, and doesn't want to talk. Well. Fine. But it's almost impossible to find time to talk to Kaidoh when most of the time he's out running or lifting weights, or whatever, and the time they do manage to find, it ends up like this.

It's gotten rather annoying. And it makes their jerk-off sessions quick and abrupt, and that sort of leaves Momoshiro a bit unsatisfied and cranky. He actually _enjoys_ taking his time, and not feeling like he's on the clock.

Annoyed with Kaidoh's hand still covering his mouth, Momoshiro opens his mouth and bites down on Kaidoh's index finger. Kaidoh grunts, and his hand slips away from his mouth, then lightly scratches Momoshiro's cheek in revenge. Momoshiro's response is to wrap an arm around Kaidoh's back, and scrape his fingernails down his spine. Asshole. He can scratch too. Each retaliation simply escalates their roughhousing with each other, and now they're both stroking and scratching the other. The combined forces of his usual fighting with Kaidoh and his hot hand going up and down, makes Momoshiro orgasm quite easily.

At least they started carrying tissues with them this time.

****

**oOo**

"You came."

Momoshiro jogs up to Kaidoh, a smile spreading on his face. His heart is still pounding from the match he played twenty minutes ago. It was a good match, an awesome match, and he won. His entire team won. He's supposed to meet up with his teammates to celebrate and get drunk, but when he sees Kaidoh leaning against the building, he makes a mental note to apologize to his team for not coming.

"Well, you asked me to," says Kaidoh with a grunt. He sticks his hands into the pockets of his shorts and stares down at the concrete, like he doesn't quite know what to do.

"Did you watch the whole thing?" Momoshiro asks excitedly. All those nervous and jumpy jitters are still fluttering around in his stomach, it's simply amplified when he sees Kaidoh.

"Yeah." Kaidoh slouches his shoulders. "You uhh, did well. Or something." His voice sounds completely unenthusiastic, and even his body posture is stiff and emotionless.

Momoshiro grins and then socks him one in the shoulder before he stands next to Kaidoh and leans against the wall as well. "I did awesome, you mean," says Momoshiro. "I kicked his ass. They should crown me captain for that match."

Kaidoh snorts. "Keep dreaming."

Momoshiro pushes his shoulder into Kaidoh's. "Hey, I totally could be. Maybe in a year, since I'm such a prodigy in tennis."

"More like a flailing idiot."

"I resent that!"

Kaidoh's lips curl up slightly, and he exhales an amused and muffled chuckle. It makes Momoshiro grin even wider; this day just can't get any better. Well, it could have gotten better. He could have been playing doubles with Kaidoh instead. Yeah, that would have been really nice.

"Too bad I play singles now," says Momoshiro, his smile faltering. Kaidoh says nothing. "I miss playing with you."

Kaidoh flinches back a bit. "A-asshole, don't say weird stuff like that." He composes himself and clears his throat. "I'm in the track and field club right now," he explains in this completely unemotional voice. And then, he lowers his head. "But uhh ... that doesn't mean we can't play any matches against each other ..."

Momoshiro's heart flutters around in his ribcage. A match with Kaidoh? It's been years! "Really?" he asks, completely caught off guard at the offer.

"Only if I have time," Kaidoh grunts.

And the fluttery feeling in his chest quiets down. Time. They don't have much of that anymore. "Oh," says Momoshiro, feeling dejected. "Like ... when?"

"I don't know." Kaidoh kicks his shoe at the concrete, like he's impatient. "When I don't have training."

"But you _always_ have training," Momoshiro whines. That just isn't fair! What's the point of even offering a match if Kaidoh's got absolutely no free time himself? The small bits of time they do manage to find, they're busy humping each other, and even that leaves Momoshiro restless most of the time.

They stay silent for what seems like forever, simply next to each other, mulling over their own thoughts. Surprisingly, it's Kaidoh who breaks the silence.

"Summer vacation," he says.

"Huh?"

"We can play then."

"Oh right ... hadn't thought of that. It's like next month, too." Momoshiro tries to remember if he made any plans for his summer vacation, but can't really remember any. He would have probably just went back home to visit his parents, and that's it. "Don't you have any plans then?"

Kaidoh hisses. "Well I'm making them now, dumbass."

Momoshiro chuckles. "Alright then. Summer vacation it is. How about we go do some other stuff as well?" Like rent a room in a love hotel and get Kaidoh to use his lips.

Kaidoh turns his head to look at Momoshiro, who stares back at him. There's that weird tingly sensation crawling on his skin again whenever he looks Kaidoh in the eye. "Okay," says Kaidoh.

And that's how their summer vacation plans were made.

****

**oOo**

In the month leading up to their summer vacation, things got a little bit heated. By that, Momoshiro means the air got really hot in their room. They don't have an airco in their room, so it's hell after coming back from training, and sweating like crazy from the heat. Momoshiro opts to just strut around in his boxer shorts all the time—no way is he wearing anything that resembles a shirt or pants in this heat.

"Do you really need to shun all of your clothes?" Kaidoh asks in an irritated voice. He points at Momoshiro, who is sitting on his own bed, fanning his face with a fan he bought at some local tourist shop. He's showing off as much skin as possible to maximize the effect of the wind coming from his fan to cool down his body.

"Yes," Momoshiro answers honestly. "It's fucking hot in here. What else do you want me to do?"

"Wear clothes."

"It's too hot for that!" He fans himself even faster, a little agitated now. It's not good to fight when he's sweaty all over. It takes too much effort. "Besides, look at what you're wearing yourself."

"I'm wearing clothes," says Kaidoh with a sneer.

"Stupid tight tank top with super short shorts. You might as well just strip naked while you're at it—and you're like this throughout the year no matter what temperature it is outside!"

"That's because I don't sweat like a monkey like you."

"I don't sweat like a—wait, monkeys can sweat?" Momoshiro stops his fan as he contemplates this very serious question.

"Idiot. They're mammals. Of course they sweat." Kaidoh rolls his eyes.

"Yeah well, I'm no monkey."

"A sweaty pig, then."

_Thunk,_ is the sound the fan makes as it hits Kaidoh's head. He lets out a battle roar and dives straight for Momoshiro's neck, and they end up wrestling each other on his bed. It's sweaty and sticky, and really rather tiring to do this, so Momoshiro soon gives up trying to do anything at all, and lets Kaidoh simply pin him down on the mattress, straddling his hips. One hand is pressed down onto his bare chest, to prevent him from moving much—not like Momoshiro would move in the first place. But Kaidoh's hand does feel rather cool to the touch, so he doesn't complain.

"It's too hot to fight, Mamushi," Momoshiro says with a sigh.

Kaidoh says nothing, but instead is eerily fixated on his own hand. Or maybe he's staring at Momoshiro's chest. Maybe he's coming up with another insult to fling at him because of how much he's sweating.

"What?" he asks, frowning up at Kaidoh.

Kaidoh pulls back a little, blinking his eyes and removing his gaze from Momoshiro's chest. "Then don't start a fight, dumbass," he says.

"Yeah, well, don't call me a pig."

"But you _are_ one," says Kaidoh with a snort.

"Hey! I haven't asked you to blow me again after that one time, so shut up. I'm not a pig."

The hand on Momoshiro's chest stiffens up, and he can see Kaidoh's eyes widen slightly in response. "What the hell does that have to do with anything? You're disgusting."

"Disgusting like a pig?" Momoshiro mocks.

"Yes!"

"Fuck you. There's nothing disgusting about it. Well, maybe it is just a little, because it would be super sweaty, and that's gross, and I can't imagine you'd taste like rainbows and sunshine either. Eww. Nasty stuff."

Kaidoh merely stares down at Momoshiro, his expression unreadable, except for the slight hue of red tainting his cheeks. It might be because it's hot, or maybe because he's too embarrassed to talk about this. Then again, he doesn't seem to want to get off Momoshiro, so maybe he's not embarrassed after all. He leans back and removes his hand, sitting up straight on top of Momoshiro.

"You ... really want to?" he asks in a hesitant voice, like he's carefully treading the waters.

Well, that serious question certainly caught Momoshiro off guard, because he certainly didn't expect Kaidoh to give it any thought whatsoever, much less ask him if he wants to do it for real. A mix of shock, confusion, and curiosity flashes across Momoshiro's face, before it settles on determination. "Yeah," he chokes out, his throat feeling dry like he's been doing nothing but swallowing sand in this heat.

Kaidoh's gaze goes down again, staring at his own hand, and that makes something hopeful well up inside of Momoshiro. Is he seriously considering this? He's actually got a shot at this? Kaidoh might actually suck him off after all? Just the thought of that is enough to give him a stiffy (like he wasn't already half hard from their tussle before). And that's just enough for Kaidoh to notice, because he whips his head around and then glares at Momoshiro with this indignant expression on his face, before he pushes himself away completely.

"I'm not doing it," Kaidoh says with a huff.

Momoshiro groans out loud—he almost convinced Kaidoh to do it! Ugh. Fine. Maybe he can try again on a later date, but right now, something needs to be done with that persistent problem in his underwear.

"Whatever—at least do something about this, then," says Momoshiro and he points his finger at his erection creating a bulge in his shorts.

Kaidoh simply hisses at Momoshiro, before he knocks him in the head with his own fan.

****

**oOo**

Summer vacation lasts for two weeks, and that is too long for Momoshiro. Too long without Kaidoh, the convenient handjob machine. He'll have to make do with his own right hand, but he's certainly not looking forward to it. Which is why, the day before the vacation starts, he made sure to set aside some time to have a nice long jerk off session with Kaidoh.

And it seems Kaidoh was thinking the same, because he actually had some free time that day. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on Momoshiro's part, but either way, they were both free, and they were both eager. Or again, maybe that's wishful thinking. Momoshiro is always eager, he's not quite sure what Kaidoh thinks about the whole thing, but if he didn't like it, he'd have kicked Momoshiro in the balls a long time ago and then never talked to him again. And considering that didn't happen (well, maybe once), it's safe to say, maybe Kaidoh is eager too.

So their last jerk off session before summer vacation started was a bit weird. It was much longer than the other quickies they've been feeding off on for weeks now. It was slow and careful, and definitely planned. Despite Momoshiro's rule to leave their clothes on, it wasn't like he had much of a choice in this heat. Even Kaidoh couldn't handle it anymore once they started going at it, going from light teasing strokes, to a much more persistent rhythm. So he took off his shirt as well, and this time, Momoshiro didn't question it. He didn't even question it when Kaidoh's hand was suddenly on his shoulder again—something he's done plenty of other times before. He still didn't question it when his grip became softer and less of a means of support, and more about trailing it down his biceps, and then back up again. Even when Kaidoh's head was buried in his neck, making these little gasping sounds, Momoshiro didn't question it.

Momoshiro's mind was in too much of a haze to comprehend what exactly Kaidoh was doing. All he knew was that he was feeling good, and Kaidoh was feeling good, so that's all that mattered.

In the end, it was hard to notice the distance Kaidoh had crossed between them, how many rules he had broken. Momoshiro just wanted to get one last handjob from him before summer vacation, so he forgave Kaidoh's weird behavior. Maybe that was Kaidoh's way of showing he was going to miss this, too. Maybe.

And that's how he ended up spending the rest of summer vacation back at his home, along with his parents and siblings.

It's sort of a nightmare.

He'd forgotten how much freedom college has given him, with his parents not knowing what he did. But now they do, and they won't stop questioning him about how school is going, and if he made new friends, and if he's gotten a girlfriend. Momoshiro feels like he's being interrogated. He keeps his mouth shut about Kaidoh, simply referring him as his 'roommate', because that's all Kaidoh is to him. A roommate. And occasionally his jerk-off-buddy. Is this what they call being friends with benefits? Momoshiro doesn't know, and he doesn't like putting labels on it, so he tries to avoid any conversation about Kaidoh the jerk-off-buddy.

The worst thing of all, of course, is the fact that he has to do without Kaidoh. He spends a lot of lonely nights with his right hand, and it never satisfies him. Even when he tries to fantasize about Kaidoh giving him a blowjob; it doesn't do much. It still leaves him wanting the real thing.

And it's hard to admit, but Momoshiro actually misses him. Yes, he most certainly misses their fun times together, but also misses him in general. They've been with each other every day since the start of college, so it's weird not to have him around, or see him lifting his dumbbells, or run around campus showing off his leg muscles. He misses insulting him and getting into petty fights—it was their daily routine, and Momoshiro feels like he's unable to properly unwind after each day because he couldn't throw an insult at Kaidoh's head.

He tries to remedy this weird sense of loneliness by sending a bunch of text messages to Kaidoh. Calling him a dickhead, or a snake, or a stupid training freak, and sometimes telling him about how annoying his sister has become since he left. Sometimes he'd be nice and ask him how his vacation was going. Kaidoh doesn't ever answer any his texts of course, something which really pisses Momoshiro off, but doesn't discourage him from sending another text in the least. The only time he does get a reply, is when Momoshiro asks him if they're still going to have their tennis match tomorrow. To which he replied with a simple 'yes'. So at least he's alive still.

What a dick, doesn't even have the courtesy to reply to all of his other texts. Momoshiro will punch him extra hard when he sees him tomorrow.

He goes to bed feeling butterflies swarm in his stomach; he can't wait to play against Kaidoh again.

****

**oOo**

It's been ten days since he last saw Kaidoh. Ten miserable days. Momoshiro is sitting down on the steps of the stairs leading to the tennis court. It's a nice sunny day, a bit too hot still for his tastes, but tolerable. No one else but him is there, which is fine, that means they're alone at least. Despite his need for always showing off in front of an audience, Momoshiro would like to keep this just between them. He doesn't want to share this moment with anyone else.

When Kaidoh is five minutes late, Momoshiro angrily punches down the keys on his cellphone to send him a text message. What's holding him up, huh? And right when he sends the text message, something hits him in the back of his head.

"What the hell—" Momoshiro looks over his shoulder to see what hit him, and sees Kaidoh walking past him with his bag in tow. "Kaidoh!" he says eagerly, completely forgetting he hit him right now. Then he remembers he's late. "What took you so long, jerk."

"Let's just play," says Kaidoh. He puts his gear onto the ground and unzips his bag, taking out his racket.

Momoshiro stays put on the stairs, narrowing his eyes at Kaidoh and wondering if he changed something about his appearance; he looks a bit different than normal. "Yo, Mamushi, got a sunburn or something?" Momoshiro smirks. "Your cheeks are pretty red."

Kaidoh points his racket at Momoshiro and growls. "Shut up dumbass, get off your fat ass and play me."

"I've got some sunscreen with me if you want to use it!" Momoshiro says with a cheerful grin.

Eventually Kaidoh just throws a tennis ball at Momoshiro's head, but luckily he catches it in time. Alright, it's showtime.

****

**oOo**

"That ... was a great match," Momoshiro says out of breath. He wipes his sweaty hand off on his shorts and then stretches it out over the net.

"Yeah ..." Kaidoh does the same and slides his hand into the palm of Momoshiro's. It zaps him with a rush—probably leftover adrenaline from that awesome match they played against one another.

"Maybe if you were in the tennis club instead, you could have beaten me," Momoshiro points out. He smirks up at Kaidoh, seeing the sun set behind him. Their match lasted over two hours, they were pretty much evenly matched.

"I just went easy on you, that's all," says Kaidoh, but there's a slight smirk on his lips as well.

"Sure you did," Momoshiro says in a mock tone. "You keep telling yourself that. If you don't start playing tennis again soon, I'll leave you behind." Momoshiro squeezes Kaidoh's hand a bit harder.

"I guess that just means we'll have to play a few matches every now and then." Kaidoh returns the squeeze as well, and this time, he's smiling a little as well.

"Hah, only if you enjoy getting your ass kicked!" Momoshiro laughs.

"In your dreams, dumbass," says Kaidoh in a playful tone.

Momoshiro feels himself being filled up with a warm liquid. Maybe it's from the sun, maybe it's from playing a good match, maybe it's because Kaidoh's joking around with him, or who knows why. What matters is that he got to play against Kaidoh again, and there might be more to come. He finally lets go of Kaidoh's warm hand—surprisingly he's not thinking about the way that hand feels like when it's wrapped around his penis. Instead, he thinks it feels pleasant like this as well.

"Man, I'm beat. This was a real good work out," says Momoshiro as he walks off the court. He stores away his racket in his bag and zips it closed, swinging it over his back. "I just wanna relax now."

"You're just lazy," says Kaidoh, jogging up to him with his own bag thrown over his shoulder. "If you did a little more training, then you wouldn't be so out of breath right now."

"Says the person who is having trouble steadying his own breathing," mocks Momoshiro. And it's true, Kaidoh's chest is heaving up and down as well, he's just as exhausted as Momoshiro.

Kaidoh looks down at the ground as they both start to walk away from the tennis court. "I'm fine ..." he mumbles. Then he clears his throat, and says in a louder voice, "I'm fine."

Momoshiro simply snickers and pushes his fist into Kaidoh's shoulder. Suddenly he feels nostalgic about this entire encounter; it's been years since they played against each other. Years since they were this tired, yet satisfied. And there was something they always did at the end of a good match ... Momoshiro holds his fist out like an invitation, with a big toothy grin on his face. Kaidoh huffs, a bit amused himself, and he pounds Momoshiro's fist with his own. The contact makes Momoshiro feel that adrenaline again, and a whole dose of nostalgia. He chuckles at Kaidoh, and feels comfortable enough to throw an arm around him.

"I'm too tired, how about you take me home," Momoshiro jokes.

"Take yourself home," says Kaidoh. He pushes his shoulder into Momoshiro's chest, a half-hearted attempt at getting him to back off. But Momoshiro stays put, and leans most of his weight on Kaidoh, slowing the both of them down from walking.

"But I won, that means you need to do something nice for me." Momoshiro continues to lean most of his weight on Kaidoh, and even presses his head up against his shoulder.

"Since when the hell did we agree to that?" Kaidoh sneers, and once more tries to push Momoshiro away.

"Hmm, now?" Momoshiro chuckles.

This doesn't bode well with Kaidoh, who finally ducks away from Momoshiro's advances, causing him to almost fall flat on his face into the patch of grass they're walking on. He mumbles a curse word under his breath, before he rids himself of his bag, and decides to jump on Kaidoh's back, yelling out, "Gotcha!" They both go tumbling down the small little hill they were on, until they come to a stop, but certainly didn't cause an end to their tussle. Kaidoh crawls on top of Momoshiro, his hands burying themselves in Momoshiro's shirt, and he hisses at him for being an idiot, probably. Momoshiro simply laughs and throws Kaidoh off of him, so they lay side by side instead, staring up at the mildly clouded orange sky.

Momoshiro takes in a deep breath. "I don't want to move an inch," he says.

"You're going to have to eventually," Kaidoh says.

The sudden breeze washing over him feels pleasant and relaxing, so Momoshiro closes his eyes to enjoy it. Now this is how summer vacation should be spend; lounging around in the afterglow of the sunset after winning a good tennis match. And maybe throw a little fighting in there, too. He spreads out his arms, feeling grass stroke along his skin, until his hand touches the back of Kaidoh's knuckles, and he pulls back a little. He opens his eyes to the sky, and seeing Kaidoh stare at him in the corner of his eyes, he turns his head as well.

He wants to laugh and make a joke—something about taking a picture so it'll last longer—but his words die on his lips the moment his eyes connect with Kaidoh's. His chest tightens up, and that same rush from before flows through his entire body, even to his toes. Momoshiro blinks, wondering if it's just the cozy atmosphere of the sunset that's making him feel this odd. But no matter how many times he blinks, Kaidoh's still there, staring at him through the blades of the green grass, his gaze strong and unwavering, like he's holding a staring contest. It's like that one time, when Kaidoh was on top of him, and also creepily staring at him like this, and Momoshiro can't bear to look away. He notices all these little details, like how Kaidoh's eyelashes are pretty long and thick, and how his right eye's eyelid is actually a little more arched than his left's, or how his cheeks are a blotchy red.

Momoshiro slowly raises his hand, lightly brushing up against the fabric of Kaidoh's shirt, until his fingertips reach out to touch Kaidoh's chin. Kaidoh breathes out a shaky breath, but doesn't do anything, letting Momoshiro touch his chin without any repercussions. Momoshiro feels a slight stubble; he probably hasn't shaved yet today. Kaidoh blinks slowly, but doesn't sever their eye contact, like he's trying to prove something. Momoshiro smiles at him as his fingers move up to touch Kaidoh's warm and red cheek.

"Stupid," he says with an amused chuckle. "I told you I had sunscreen with me." Now Kaidoh's got to live with sunburned cheeks.

Kaidoh suddenly grasps Momoshiro's hand with his own, but doesn't tear it off like Momoshiro expected him to. Instead he keeps both of their hands pressed against his cheek, an odd kind of behavior that Momoshiro isn't familiar with yet. It catches him off guard, so he doesn't know what to do, instead feels like something is bubbling over inside of him, like a soda can that was shaken too hard. This is weird, what's Kaidoh trying to do here? Usually Kaidoh is easy to understand, but this leaves Momoshiro pretty flabbergasted; he's never actually been gentle like this. And that is scaring Momoshiro a little.

Momoshiro slightly starts to pull his hand out of Kaidoh's grasp, but then realizes he's not actually moving his hand; it's Kaidoh who is moving closer. Close enough until they're nose to nose, and Momoshiro has no time to react at all when Kaidoh presses his mouth on his. Momoshiro hears an alarm ring in his brain, and in a lightning fast reaction, slams his hands into Kaidoh's chest to shove him away from him. He immediately starts rubbing at his lips and stares at Kaidoh accusingly. His insides feel like they've been twisted into a tight knot.

"What the hell, Kaidoh!" Momoshiro yells. His heart is beating a thousand miles per second, and he's overwhelmed by this weirdest sensation that's making all of his muscles freeze up in place.

Kaidoh blinks, once, twice—and then he scrambles up with a hiss, reaching for his bag and quickly skittering away with his head hung low.

"Oi!" Momoshiro calls after him, sitting up straight. "Kaidoh!" he tries one last time.

But Kaidoh's gone, run off to who knows where, leaving Momoshiro alone to question what the fuck just happened.

****

**oOo**

Summer vacation might as well have been renamed to Vacation from Hell. That's what it feels like to Momoshiro.

Ever since his match against Kaidoh, he's been trying to get in touch with him for a while now. Calling his cellphone, leaving behind text messages—but they never get answered. Kaidoh is officially avoiding him. But that can't last for too long, Momoshiro thinks. They live in the same dorm room after all, Kaidoh will _have_ to acknowledge him in some way when they get back, however awkward that might be.

Momoshiro wants to know what the hell was going through his mind that he thought it was a great idea to _kiss_ him completely out of the blue. Who the hell goes around kissing people? In fact, he pretty much thought Kaidoh was allergic to any kind of physical touching, much less do it on his own, and with _Momoshiro_ of all people. Why him? Why do it? These questions plague Momoshiro day and night. He thinks about it almost constantly, and when he's in bed at night, he thinks about it even more. Wondering what caused Kaidoh to do this, and if there were any warning signs Momoshiro was missing. Did Kaidoh always act this weird? Is it a one-time thing only?

The more he thinks about it, the less he can pin it down on any one occasion that makes him think Kaidoh acted weird. It's sort of just been a gradual change, so gradual Momoshiro didn't see the change in Kaidoh. But now that he thinks about it, they certainly didn't act this way around each other when they met up again in the beginning of the school year. There were differences from now and then. Subtle, but there.

His rules, the rules he came up with so abruptly, were broken on many occasions. But all within good reason, at least that's what Momoshiro thinks; each time there was a reasonable explanation why one rule was bent and then broken completely. And it's because of that, that Momoshiro didn't really pay attention to it. It can't be helped, that's what he thought at the time. But he wonders if Kaidoh broke the rules on purpose, and if so, then why? Why would he want to?

Momoshiro doesn't know. Momoshiro is confused and frustrated, and he wishes Kaidoh would stop avoiding him and talk to him like a man.

Momoshiro concludes that all that messing around they did, got Kaidoh all confused and messed up with what's allowed and what wasn't. Maybe he was lonely too, and since he's never really shared the company of a woman, maybe he was using Momoshiro as a substitute. Since he's probably never kissed anyone, Kaidoh might have thought it was a good idea to do it with Momoshiro instead. They were already jerking off, so why not kiss.

Momoshiro huffs. He'll tell him why; because it was a rule! No touchy! Especially no kissing!

He continues to fume and think about this for the rest of the vacation, until it's time to go back to his dorm.

It's about time Kaidoh stops running away. He's damn good at it, being in the track and field club after all, but it has to end sometime, and that finish line is at their dorm room. Kaidoh _has_ to come, he can't avoid Momoshiro forever.

But even on their first day back at college, Momoshiro doesn't see Kaidoh at all. He stays up till 2 AM, trying to stay awake until he sees Kaidoh return to their room, but then falls asleep from boredom. When he wakes up, he sees Kaidoh's bag at his bed—so the bastard snuck in at night anyway. Momoshiro is angry that he came in so late, and then still managed to get away before he woke up. What is he, a monster? Even Kaidoh needs sleep.

At least, he thinks so. He can never tell with that guy.

Throughout his day, Momoshiro is on high alert, his heart thumping wildly in his chest the moment he sees someone wear headgear, but disappointed when he realizes it's not Kaidoh. At practice, he's distracted, and he keeps waiting for the track and field club to make their rounds, and when they do, he doesn't spot Kaidoh between them at all. It's infuriating. Where is that stupid snake!? Is he going to avoid Momoshiro forever? Well that certainly sounds very depressing ...

Momoshiro decides to skip his own practice, and stake Kaidoh out at his club. No matter what happened, Kaidoh follows his training schedule like it's a religion, no way would he really skip it. So like a creepy stalker, Momoshiro hides himself behind the large school building, watching everyone jump hurdles. He tries to spot Kaidoh, but finds no one wearing a bandana. But then he sees it: separated from the crowd like a black sheep, Kaidoh is doing sit-ups in a patch of grass, hidden in the shadows of a big tree. Momoshiro feels himself swell up with anger, and it takes a lot of self control to not march up to Kaidoh right this instance, and demand some answers out of him. No, he's smarter than that. He'll wait until he can cut Kaidoh off from the rest and get the both of them alone.

This means Momoshiro has to stay there for a boring one hour—he really needs to pee—until the club finally disbands practice. Kaidoh however, stays behind. He's probably going to train more like always. What an ass. But at least this gives him a chance to confront him. Momoshiro waits until the field is empty and everyone has left, only Kaidoh is left still, this time using a jump rope (does he ever stop to take a break?). The atmosphere reminds him a lot of that day Kaidoh ran away; the sun is slowly setting in the distance, and the air is cooling down and isn't so unbearably hot anymore. This just makes him feel even weirder about confronting Kaidoh, but he has to do it. It has to happen.

So Momoshiro sneakily creeps up to that patch of grass, being quiet and inconspicuous. When he realizes Kaidoh's as blind as he's an idiot, he steps out into the open, right behind Kaidoh.

"Practicing late?" Momoshiro asks as nonchalantly as possible. He crosses his arms across his chest, and waits for Kaidoh's reaction.

He doesn't have to wait long; Kaidoh mistimes his jump, and his foot gets entangled with the rope, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face. Momoshiro doesn't know whether to laugh, or help him get up, or just say nothing at all. He opts for the latter.

Kaidoh frantically picks himself up and he whirls around to face Momoshiro, and as soon as he does, he starts racing away from him, like his ass has been set on fire. Momoshiro yells out Kaidoh's name, picks up the jump rope Kaidoh left behind, and gives chase. Unfortunately, Kaidoh is still the better runner here, so it doesn't take long for Kaidoh to leave Momoshiro behind with a safe enough distance between them. But Momoshiro is persistent, and follows Kaidoh out of the field, and towards the park next to their school instead.

"Stop running you asshole!" Momoshiro yells after him. All he can see are the soles of Kaidoh's shoes, as he never once turns around to face him. This is getting super irritating. Can't the guy just give up?

Soon they're running in the park, where the trees are giving them plenty of shade, and makes it harder for Kaidoh to run in a straight line, as he has to zigzag his way through the numerous small paths. This gives Momoshiro a chance to catch up, and when he's finally close enough, he flings the jump rope at Kaidoh's feet like a whip. It works as he intended; it catches around Kaidoh's ankles, and causes him to trip up. And down he goes once again. Momoshiro throws his fist up in the air as a silent victory, and quickly runs up to Kaidoh before he can get up and run away.

"Why the hell are you running away from me!?" Momoshiro demands to know. He rests his hands on his knees and takes a few large breaths to steady his breathing. Kaidoh is curled up on the ground, hugging his knees and burying his head into the dirt, as if he's hiding. He's doing a terrible job at that.

Momoshiro is annoyed at Kaidoh's lack of response, and nudges him in the side with his foot. Kaidoh simply whimpers.

"D-don't look at me," Kaidoh says nervously.

"Huh?" Momoshiro circles around Kaidoh until he's in front of him, staring down at his curled up body. "What are you doing? Get up." Kaidoh doesn't budge. Momoshiro bends down to face him instead, and reaches out for his wrist to get him up. As soon as his fingers touch Kaidoh's skin, Kaidoh yanks it back as if he's been burned, and he finally sits up straight.

"Don't!" Kaidoh cries out. Then he hides his face with both his arms, refusing to look straight at Momoshiro. "I told you not to look at me!"

"Jesus Kaidoh, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Momoshiro asks, annoyed and frustrated at this entire thing. He tilts his head a bit to the left so he can try to sneak a peek at Kaidoh's face, which he's so desperately trying to hide. In this low lighting of the sunset and all the shade from the trees, it's hard to make out what he looks like anyway, so Momoshiro isn't sure why he's panicking over having his face shown. Did he get an awful scar or something?

"Just leave me alone," Kaidoh hisses out. "Go away."

"What, so you can ignore me again? Don't think so. Why don't you tell me why you've been avoiding me, huh?" Momoshiro cranes his neck around this time, but Kaidoh is equally as observant, and immediately shields his face again with his hands and arms. Kaidoh refuses to say anything though, so this is pissing him off even more. "You're not even going to talk to me now? Fucking asshole, I'm going to kick your ass." Momoshiro leans forward and manages to grab one of Kaidoh's wrists, this time having a firm grip on it. Kaidoh yelps as soon as he's captured and tries to break free, but Momoshiro pulls it away from his face.

"Let go!" Kaidoh yells desperately. "Can't you just fucking _leave me alone!?_ "

Now he knows why Kaidoh was so desperate to hide his face. It's beet red. At first Momoshiro thinks it's a rash, a real nasty rash he's gotten from his sunburn—but then he realizes that the shade of red is turning darker, and it's spreading across his cheeks onto his neck and ears. That's not a rash, that's a fully fledged _blush._ The realization that Kaidoh is actually blushing till the roots of his hair right in front of him, makes Momoshiro squirm and feel embarrassed too. It's contagious.

"Why are you ..." So _red?_ But instead, Momoshiro asks, "Why did you do that?" Putting a lot of emphasis on 'that'. He doesn't let Kaidoh's wrist go, in fear of him running off again. He's still desperately trying to cover up his face, mostly by turning it away from Momoshiro.

"I didn't do anything," Kaidoh grumbles. He tries to yank his wrist back, which causes a small tug-a-war between them, as Momoshiro still refused to let go.

"Yeah, and you're totally looking at me right now, huh," Momoshiro says sarcastically. "Don't avoid the subject. You've done enough avoiding already, and it's pissing me off."

"Nothing happened, there's nothing to avoid," Kaidoh says with a low growl.

"And now you're _denying_ it? What the hell Kaidoh. Stop it already. You're being an annoying douchebag." Momoshiro shakes Kaidoh's wrist and pulls him closer, wanting to look him in the eye. He doesn't want to look at Kaidoh the coward.

"It was a mistake," Kaidoh says. "So drop it and let me go!"

And this time, Momoshiro does let Kaidoh go, perplexed at Kaidoh's statement. "A mistake?" he echoes.

Kaidoh backs away from him, hugging his wrist to his chest and quickly standing up straight, then turning his back on Momoshiro. For a second, Momoshiro thinks he's going to run away again, but Kaidoh stays put this time. Though his legs are shaking.

"It was nothing," Kaidoh bites out. "Forget about it."

"I can't," Momoshiro admits. He hasn't stopped thinking about it once. What it all meant. Why Kaidoh did it. Why he avoided him straightly afterwards. And more importantly, why Momoshiro wasn't vomiting in disgust right afterwards. No, instead he tried to talk to Kaidoh to find out why he did it, why this all happened.

"Don't ..." Kaidoh sighs. "Say things like that. I'll ..." he trails off, not saying anything else.

"You'll what?" Momoshiro asks. He'll what exactly?

"Nothing," he says in a louder voice. He straightens up his back, and gets ready to run. "I'm going."

As a pure reflex, Momoshiro throws himself at Kaidoh, hoping to grab some kind of body part to prevent him from leaving again. He ends up digging his fists into Kaidoh's shirt and yanking him back. "No! Tell me why you're avoiding it! Why did you do it!?" Momoshiro sounds desperate and needy—he really wants to have some answers. He can see Kaidoh's fists balling up until his knuckles turn white, and he's keeping them restrained at his hips, like he's about to punch himself. He doesn't say anything though, so Momoshiro continues. "Why won't you even look at me?" and this time, there an edge to Momoshiro's voice. Like it isn't just annoying that Kaidoh won't look at him, but that it's actually a bit hurtful as well.

"Because!" Kaidoh suddenly yells out. "Because ..." he repeats in a softer voice. "When I look at you I ..."

Momoshiro starts to lean in closer, the grip on Kaidoh's shirt slipping off, as his ears are perked up to listen o what Kaidoh has to say. "You what?" He tugs on his shirt. "You _what,_ Kaidoh?"

Kaidoh hisses. "Nothing. Nevermind. Forget about it."

Having enough of Kaidoh avoiding the question, Momoshiro jabs his elbow into Kaidoh's back, causing him to groan out loud in pain. Then he quickly circles around Kaidoh's body and places both his hands on his shoulders, standing directly in front of him.

"Why can't you look at me?" Momoshiro asks. He looks right at Kaidoh, ignoring his massive blush that keeps changing colours, but instead staring at his eyes. Those eyes that won't look at him. He wants to scream; _look at me!_ Why is it so important for Kaidoh to look at him all of the sudden?

"I hate you ..." Kaidoh grits out. "I really do." And yet all of his body language indicates the opposite. He doesn't hate Momoshiro at all.

"I just ... want to know." Momoshiro moves his hands away from Kaidoh's shoulders, and trails it up his neck until he cups both of Kaidoh's cheeks, and forces him to turn his head to face him. His eyes are still not looking at him though, instead are casted down his shirt instead. "Why?"

"You are such a clueless idiot," Kaidoh groans out. "It's all your fault! If you hadn't fallen asleep that one time, I could have been just fine without you!"

"Huh, what are you talking about?" Also, what does Kaidoh mean with he'd be fine without him? Does that mean he _isn't_ fine without him right now? That ludicrous thought makes his chest all jumbled and tight. "Are you _still_ hung up about that? Geez, I already said I was sorry! What more do you want from me!?"

"You really don't remember, do you," Kaidoh says. He sounds tired, like he's been holding in a secret all this time, and it's finally coming out.

"Remember _what?_ "

Kaidoh slowly hisses, his breath making Momoshiro feel even more nauseous than he already is from this whole ordeal. "You ... fell asleep like a dumb oaf."

"Yeah, so fucking what?" Momoshiro bites back.

"Fell asleep ... on me," Kaidoh says awkwardly.

Momoshiro frowns; okay so he fell asleep and slumped up against Kaidoh. So what. Why does this matter? He's definitely missing something here, because surely Kaidoh can't be pissed off about that. "... And?" Momoshiro asks, wondering if that's something Kaidoh still isn't telling him.

Kaidoh grunts, snarling at Momoshiro with his lips. He tries to shake Momoshiro's hands off his face, but to no avail. "You stupid moron. It doesn't matter. Forget it. Let me go so we can go back home."

Deeply frustrated with getting Kaidoh to talk, and only getting little bits of information each time, but not enough to get the whole picture, something inside of Momoshiro snaps. Probably his rationale. Because for some reason, he's pulling Kaidoh's face closer to his own, so he can smash their lips together. It's Kaidoh who backs away lightning fast this time, Momoshiro's hands slipping away from his cheeks, and Kaidoh's eyes are wide open and finally looking at him.

"What the hell, Momoshiro?" Kaidoh looks confused and angry. The exact same look Momoshiro had when Kaidoh did this time him last time.

Momoshiro himself has no idea what possessed him to do it either. It's not like he wanted to. It's not like he's ever thought about it. It's not like he's ever had the urge to do it either. So why do it? He has no idea. "That's what you did to me, then you ran off. I want to know why you did it."

With Kaidoh's eyes finally looking at him again, he sees a hundred different emotions flash before him. Anger, confusion are the most prominent ones, but he also sees hurt, longing and embarrassment. Kaidoh's eyes have never told him this much, but now that he's staring right at Momoshiro again, Momoshiro feels like he's staring straight into Kaidoh's soul. Like he can see everything that's written on Kaidoh's face. All of his fears and all of his wants. And those desires are being reflected back to him. He can see his own reflection in Kaidoh's eyes—Momoshiro is bearing the same expressions as Kaidoh is. It confounds him, absolutely confuses him to no end, but he doesn't look away. Doesn't want to anymore. He just wants to know; _why?_

"I mis ... misunderstood," Kaidoh says with a strained voice. "I thought you ..."

As Kaidoh talks, Momoshiro can see how his lips quiver, how his eyebrows melt together in a permanent frown, and how his eyes are unwavering and look like pools of dark water. It makes Momoshiro's knees feel weak. His entire body feels weak. Maybe he should have taken Kaidoh's advice after all, and worked out so he's not so weak anymore.

"Thought what?" he asks, and takes a small step closer, shortening the distance between both of their bodies. He's hanging onto each word Kaidoh says as if it's his last lifeline.

"You ..." Kaidoh presses his lips into a thin line, like he's unsure if he should say what's about to come next. "Wanted to ... too ..." he finally says with a shaky breath.

Momoshiro blinks up at him. "Me?" Wanted to kiss Kaidoh? "What, how did you get that idea—wait, _too?_ "

Kaidoh firmly snaps his mouth shut and says nothing, simply staring into Momoshiro's eyes.

And now Momoshiro knows why they never looked at each other as they did it. Why they were always avoiding each other's eyes like this. Because like this, just looking at Kaidoh right now, it's like all of his fears came true.

As long as they don't look at each other, then it can stay platonic.

As long as they won't touch each other more, then they can pretend they don't want it.

As long as they stay clothed, then it doesn't mean anything, it's not important.

But it is. All of it has been. All of it had escalated, and their eyes are betraying them. No matter how hard Momoshiro's brain tries to convince him that this is not real, this is not true, and that he doesn't feel like this at all, it's hard to deny when he's in front of Kaidoh like this. Looking at him. His entire body suddenly wants nothing more than to look at Kaidoh, than to touch him, than to feel skin on skin—his heart is loudly thumping in agreement.

Kaidoh's long saw what Momoshiro has tried very hard to ignore, or to acknowledge it even existed. That this has become something else. Something that wasn't there before. It wasn't a drastic change or anything, it was subtle and slow. And now that Momoshiro is thinking about it clearly, it doesn't come to him as a sudden realization. It just makes sense all of the sudden, like puzzle pieces falling into place. Like he finally understands. And apparently, Kaidoh has known about this much longer than he has.

Then again, Kaidoh's always been the person that understood him the most. He's always known things about Momoshiro that he didn't even know himself.

Kaidoh shifts awkwardly under Momoshiro's strong gaze. "I said forget about it. Doesn't matter. It was a mistake, yeah. A stupid one."

Momoshiro snaps out of his daze and glares at Kaidoh. "You're the stupid one," he fires back.

"Asshole, why don't you go jump off a bridge and leave me alone already."

"I'll only jump if you'll jump."

"Then you'll be waiting for an eternity. I'll just push you off, okay?"

"I'll drag you down with me."

"Even when you're plummeting to your death you're still an asshole."

"At least I don't regret any of my mistakes," says Momoshiro. His heart leaps against his chest painfully.

"Your entire life has been a mistake," Kaidoh grunts.

Momoshiro bites down on his lip and he's tempted to just punch Kaidoh in the face and leave him behind. "Watch your mouth Mamushi."

"Or what?" Kaidoh challenges him.

"Or this time, it won't be a mistake."

"Huh?" Kaidoh says lamely. "What are you talking about?"

"Hey, let's go back to our room already. I mean, aren't you scared of hanging out here in the dark, with all these creepy shadows that look like grabbing hands all around us?"

Kaidoh yelps and suddenly looks down frantically at the ground, as if he's spotted a mouse. That deep red colour quickly drains from his face, leaving him looking pale. "Y-yeah, okay," he stutters. Kaidoh creeps closer to Momoshiro, it's pretty obvious he's gotten acutely aware of his surroundings all of the sudden.

"Oh, and one last thing, Kaidoh."

After whipping his head left and right to spot any lurking dangers in the shadows, Kaidoh looks back at Momoshiro. "What?"

"When we get back, you better suck me off this time."

And just like that, the colour is back in Kaidoh's face again. "Asshole, I told you that's not what mouths are for!"

Momoshiro snickers. Kaidoh might think their mouths are for eating and talking, but Momoshiro knows two other things they can do with it.


	2. Kaidoh's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidoh's PoV of the same thing in the previous chapter, but obviously with more scenes added and a lot more words!

Kaidoh thought he had left this all behind him.

The jesting, the jeering, the name calling, the fighting—that was all in middle school. He wasn't supposed to be doing this again as if time had stopped still since then. But he is. As if nothing ever changed, the moment he saw Momoshiro Takeshi appear in front of his eyes at college, everything fell back into their old and stubborn routine.

When he entered high school, Kaidoh prided himself on being mature, cool, and collected; he was better than the rest of them. With Momoshiro going to another school, Kaidoh had three blissful years where he didn't have to put up with the idiot. Not that he didn't miss playing tennis with him from time to time—but he was grateful he was freed from this moron.

Until he became his roommate in college. Like some sort of sick and twisted joke, he and Momoshiro had to room together for the rest of their time at college. This did not help their arguments. What Kaidoh was so proud of once—his cool and collected demeanor—shattered to pieces when he was with Momoshiro. He can't help it, that idiot just makes him behave like a child again. He knows just what to say or do to annoy Kaidoh. He's always been able to push his buttons that way. At least that part of him, hasn't changed. Kaidoh is unsure whether he's annoyed or a little glad Momoshiro seemed to be relatively the same still.

At least they don't have to see each other at club practice. When he got into high school, his tennis club looked rather pathetic, and it just didn't have the same atmosphere as Seigaku did, so Kaidoh went for the next best thing: track and field. He likes running, always has, so for the next three years in high school, that's all he did. And he grew to really like it, that he applied to be a member in the one for his college as well. Back then, he didn't know Momoshiro was going to the same college, and that he'd apply for the tennis club.

Kaidoh's decision to enter the track and field team wavered just the slightest. But only a little. Why does he care what club the idiot joins anyway.

It seemed that Momoshiro had similar thoughts, because once he found out Kaidoh wasn't joining the tennis club, he wouldn't let him live it down. Every chance he got, Momoshiro was whining and complaining and trying to convince Kaidoh to join, and ditch that 'stupid running club'. Many times, Kaidoh did come close to quitting and giving into Momoshiro's incessant demands, but when he saw Momoshiro that day, his decision to stay in the track and field club was set in stone.

What happened that day? Well ...

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh hasn't felt this nervous since the first day he was captain of Seigaku's tennis club. Back then he was a bundle of nerves, and tried to cover it up by yelling out many profanities and giving the members a lot of laps to run. That's how he feels right now; nervous and ready to shout at the next person who would interrupt him. Why? Because Kaidoh's going to join the tennis club.

Yes, after only a week of listening to Momoshiro's whining, he gave in. Kaidoh's heart can't take it whenever he sees Momoshiro give his best pitiful look, with those big sparkly eyes and pouty lip. In retrospect, Kaidoh does miss it. He would like to play tennis again with Momoshiro. It'd be just like when they won the nationals together, just him and the idiot, pulling through it together. That sort of rush he hasn't felt in years. Maybe now they're in the same college, they can do it again.

So there Kaidoh is, standing around awkwardly, and trying to find an appropriate time to cut in. He came just before practice started, and sees a bunch of members piling in the clubhouse. He figures he should just barge in there and demand he be let in.

Wait, that's probably not a good idea.

Kaidoh's nervous thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a group of loud people passing by, laughing at a joke someone had told them. Amongst them he hears that annoying laugh that belongs to none other than Momoshiro Takeshi. Kaidoh hisses under his breath; he doesn't want that idiot to see him. Then he'll think he has won, and he'll be gloating about it all week. Kaidoh would rather avoid that. It's already torture enough he has to listen to his endless stream of insults towards his track and field club. So Kaidoh stays back a bit, hiding in the shadows of the canopy of a tree, just watching the group talking animatedly.

Apparently, Kaidoh isn't very good at hiding, because Momoshiro spots him. Jerk. Why is he so observant despite completely engrossed with talking? He sees Kaidoh and flashes him a bright and happy smile, waving at him to quickly come over. Well damn, now Kaidoh _has_ to go. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and sulks over, running over an endless excuses in his mind to cover up the fact that he tried to apply for the tennis club. He can't possibly do it _now_ when Momoshiro has spotted him.

"Kaaaiiidoh!" Momoshiro greets him, drawling out his name like he likes to do sometimes. Kaidoh hunches his head into his shoulders, trying to make himself as small and invisible as possible. Maybe then he won't have to stay around for long and talk. When he catches up to the group, they all stop talking and suddenly all eyes are on him.

"Whatcha doing here you snake? Did you change your mind?" Momoshiro clasps his hands together as his eyes start to sparkle. "No way—you're going to join!? Seriously!? Awesome!" Momoshiro punches Kaidoh in the arm, a little harder than necessary because he can't seem to contain his excitement.

Kaidoh blinks as he tries to formulate his thoughts. "Uhh," he says awkwardly. "I'm—I'm not, you idiot!" he hastily denies. Wait, this is probably not a good idea, but what else can he do? He can't let Momoshiro gloat about it! He'll just come back tomorrow or something.

Momoshiro's face falls, and he frowns at him. "You're not joining?"

"I just got lost, that's all!" Kaidoh lies.

Another tennis club member standing next to Momoshiro suddenly speaks up. "Do you know this person, Momo-kun?" he asks.

"Oh, yeah. He's my roommate, and we used to play tennis together."

Kaidoh hisses, not really used to getting introduced to so many people at once. "Kaidoh Kaoru, pleased to meet you," he says politely.

"Wait—used to?" the guy repeats, suddenly his tone a lot more playful. "Then that means you knew Momo-kun before? Tell us, is he as good as he says he is?"

Momoshiro suddenly turns a little red and tries to hush him up by shushing at him.

"... I guess he's alright," Kaidoh admits. That's the best compliment he can pay to Momoshiro's tennis skills. But that doesn't even begin to describe how good Momoshiro really is.

"Kaidoh!" Momoshiro sputters, his cheeks suddenly red. "They weren't talking about th—"

"Oho, so Momo-kun is the player he says he is!" says the boy. "So how many women have you slept with then, huh? Come on, tell us!"

"Yes, tell us, Momo-kun!"

"Guys! Shut up!"

Kaidoh's face suddenly morphs into something that of utter disgust. Are they talking about ... ?

"Well fess up, you have to tell us. Did you ever do anything with your girlfriend?"

Momoshiro fidgets on the spot, and seems to be torn about something. "Fine, I had sex with her—but can you guys please stop talking about that!? Come on, we're at practice, show some respect!"

Kaidoh seems to tune out how the rest of their conversation went. He's kind of not thinking about anything at all, and stands there like a mindless drone. Eventually he excuses himself and goes back to his side of the campus to run. He runs a lot, he runs until practice is over, and then runs some more. He keeps himself so busy with running, that he is unable to think of anything at all. Running has always been his way of calming himself down, of keeping his mind clear of disgusting and disturbing thoughts. Yes, he likes running. He doesn't need to play tennis.

Yes. Momoshiro can have it. Kaidoh doesn't want any part of it, not anymore.

Kaidoh stays out so late, it's almost midnight before he returns to his room. He hopes Momoshiro is asleep; he doesn't want to hear him talk about tennis, or his girlfriend, or anything else really. He just wants to sleep and forget anything happened today.

Unfortunately, today is not his day, because when he opens the door of his room, he catches Momoshiro in the act of masturbating.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh can't say a word.

He's frozen in place, and his tongue is all tied up as he replays the words Momoshiro had said just moments before.

_Let's jerk each other off._

Is he serious? Has he gone absolutely mad?

"Say something," Momoshiro says with a pout. He looks uncomfortable yet still completely arrogant as he sits on his bed, and toys around with his shirt.

"Are you fucking retarded?" is what Kaidoh decides to say, because all the other words in the world have left him.

Momoshiro huffs and glares at Kaidoh, his cheeks turning pink. "Asshole, you don't have to put it that way! I bring up some good points, so you either agree, or you don't agree—and then that means you'll have to walk in on me again. And that was as unpleasant for me as it was for you. So say something!"

"Are you fucking retarded?" Kaidoh repeats in the same tone.

Momoshiro leaps off from his bed and tackles Kaidoh's midriff so that they both fall down on Kaidoh's bed. Kaidoh helplessly watches as Momoshiro straddles him at his waist and pulls back his fist, getting ready to hit him in the face. But Kaidoh's expression remains the same; one of disgust and confusion.

"Look Kaidoh, I'm giving you a damn good proposal. You do me, I do you, and there will be no more sneaking off to find time to do it in private and walking in on something like that. All you have to say is yes." Momoshiro's hands are shaking from gripping Kaidoh's shirt so tightly.

What is this guy thinking? Does he seriously want to do this? Surely the embarrassment from walking in on him last night couldn't have shocked him _that_ much. Then again, Momoshiro always had a few loose screws in his head. Maybe last night is what finally did him in. Maybe he thinks he can cover up his embarrassment by making Kaidoh even more embarrassed with disgusting proposals like these. Does he seriously think Kaidoh will agree to this? To do this kind of disgusting thing with him? Never.

"And, and—that's it," says Momoshiro hastily. "No taking off any sort of clothes, no touching other than _that_ , and definitely no kissing! It's like this, you know, friends with benefits kind of thing. No one has to know."

Kaidoh growls at Momoshiro. "Not even your girlfriend?" he bites back. Wouldn't _she_ want a say in this?

"Huh, what girlfriend?" Momoshiro asks, sounding honestly confused.

Kaidoh turns his head away, rolling it over the mattress and pressing his face into the sheets. "The one you mentioned yesterday ..."

"I didn't say any—oh, uhm, no that's just uhh. My ex. Yes, my ex! Besides, what's it to you, huh. Why do you care."

Kaidoh jabs his fist into Momoshiro's side, making him yelp out from the pain, but stubbornly refused to get off of him. "I hate cheaters," Kaidoh says as if this explains everything, glaring at Momoshiro again. He does feel a lot better knowing that Momoshiro isn't dating some girl he doesn't know though. Like he won't be expecting any random visits of girls in their dorm room.

"Yeah well, I'm not a cheater." Momoshiro suddenly releases his grip on Kaidoh's shirt and leans back, staring him in the eye. "It'll just be you and me."

For some reason, that makes Kaidoh feel something weird swirl around in his stomach, and his toes are buzzing with electricity. It's an irritating, but slightly pleasant sensation. It's just like how he feels about Momoshiro; who is irritating most of the time, but can be pleasant when he wants to. Right now, he's being someone Kaidoh doesn't even recognize. Someone who thinks it's ok to do this kind of thing with another man, and shamelessly ask for it as if it's the most normal thing in the world. He looks up at Momoshiro and wants to call him an idiot, then throw him on the ground, and maybe get in a few kicks as well, but Kaidoh's body is motionless, completely still beneath Momoshiro.

"What if I say no?" Kaidoh asks, and avoids looking at Momoshiro again, opting to stare down at his t-shirt instead.

Momoshiro smirks at him. "Then last night will be a scene you'll come across many, many times throughout our college life. Unless you wanna switch roommates."

"Perhaps I should, no one should be forced to live with an uncontrollable pervert like you. Why can't you just, _not do it?_ "

"Fuck you, stupid virgin. You do it too, so don't act like I'm dirty and perverted all of the sudden."

"I don't do it," Kaidoh lies. He'd never admit to it. Ever.

"Hah! Yeah right. You might not do it as often as I do, but you still do it, unless you're one of those weird freaks that can't get it up." Momoshiro crosses his arms and smirks down at Kaidoh, raising his eyebrows at him as if he's challenging him to prove him otherwise.

"Of course I can get it up ..." Kaidoh says with a low hiss. He doesn't need to prove anything.

"So you _do_ do it, huh?"

"No I don't ..." This is annoying! Why can't Momoshiro just leave him alone already!?

"Well I guess I'll have to find out if you're a liar then ..."

Kaidoh is just about to ask what the hell he means with that, when suddenly, he feels Momoshiro grope him through the front of his pants. He squeezes his balls gently, which causes Kaidoh to let out a very high pitched yelp of embarrassment.

"Momoshiro! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Kaidoh's eyes are wide and opened in disgust, and he tries to get Momoshiro off of him, shoving at his shoulders, but the idiot is pushing back at him.

"What's it look like, dumbass. I'm testing to see if you get hard or not." Momoshiro continues unabated, touching Kaidoh in places no one else has ever touched him before.

He feels dirty.

"Don't touch me there!" Kaidoh yells out and finally manages to shove Momoshiro off of him, so he falls back on the ground.

"Asshole!" Momoshiro flings back as soon as he picks himself up.

What ensues is a battle between the both of them, each trying to gain the upper hand as they try to top one another, and throw in some punches and kicks. Kaidoh can't let Momoshiro get away with it, his _dignity_ is on the line here. Yet whenever Momoshiro sees the chance, his hands are back groping him again, squeezing it softly and rubbing it whenever he can. Even punching him in the face twice doesn't seem to stop the pervert—and Kaidoh is growing increasingly irritated that he just won't _stop_. Fine! If Momoshiro won't stop—he'll do it too! See how he likes it!

Kaidoh rolls over on top of Momoshiro on the ground, and instead of pinning him down at his wrists, he quickly shoves one hand down between the both of them, and his hand cups the hard bump in Momoshiro's shorts.

"Hah—see, it's not so pleasant now when someone else does it, is it?" Kaidoh taunts him, squeezing the hard lump even tighter.

Momoshiro just looks at him, dazed and his eyes glazed over.

That's when Kaidoh realizes; he's groping Momoshiro's erect penis. "What the hell—you're _hard!?_ " But he didn't even touch him until now! That's disgusting. His fingers are buzzing with blood and he feels compelled to pull them away like he's been burned, but he doesn't—that would give Momoshiro the upper hand. So he just keeps it there, awkwardly, holding him hostage.

Momoshiro growls at him, a flush spreading across his face. "Shut up ... you were just moving too much, that's all." Then Momoshiro looks down at his own hand. "But I'm not the only one!" He roughly shoves his hand in between Kaidoh's legs and grips Kaidoh's penis, grinning at him wickedly.

Kaidoh lets out what sounds like half a hiss and half a squeak as his face turns red from embarrassment. "N-no it's not," he lies in a strained voice. What the hell is his body doing? He glares down at his pants, as if to say; _traitor!_ He's going to have to exercise a lot more self control after this. He should double his running schedule. "A-anyways, just let go already, you pervert!"

"I'm not letting go until you let go!" Momoshiro argues back.

"Like hell I'll fall for that—you first!"

"I'm not going to!"

"It's not like you were going to either way, dickhead!"

"Well then I guess you'll just have to suck it up," says Momoshiro with a very loud puff of air. Then suddenly Momoshiro's fingers start to move, and he can feel them rub and massage his already half hard penis.

More blood rushes to Kaidoh's face, filling him up with embarrassment, and he scrambles off of Momoshiro this time, putting some distance between them. Momoshiro sits up straight, looking agitated, yet strangely flustered. Probably how Kaidoh feels too, except he's mortified and angry at the same time. Momoshiro huffs, picking himself up from the floor and looking at Kaidoh.

"So you _do_ get hard," says Momoshiro simply, like he's reading aloud from a textbook.

Kaidoh's face flushes with blood again, and he yanks his shirt down to cover the bulge in his shorts. "Shut up asshole," he hisses.

"Well, now I am too, so I guess this is a good time to start." Momoshiro rolls his shoulders to relax his muscles and crack his bones, and then starts to get closer to Kaidoh, who feels like a mouse trapped in a corner.

"What—no it's not. Don't!" Kaidoh cries out and tries to push Momoshiro away.

He didn't count on Momoshiro shoving him on the bed again (just how many times has this happened?). Momoshiro crawls on top of a squirming Kaidoh, who feels helpless all of the sudden. It's awkward now that Momoshiro is sitting so close to it, and his thighs are claiming his own, clamped shut tightly so Kaidoh can't escape.

Momoshiro looks down at the obvious bulge in Kaidoh's shorts, and he curses that thing for ever responding to that idiot doing idiotic and disgusting things to it. Oh how he wishes he could make it go down through pure will alone, but unfortunately, that's one part of his body that just won't listen. Especially when Momoshiro's hand is stroking it through the fabric again. Kaidoh doesn't want to admit it—hell will freeze over first—but his body reacts, and his penis twitches at the contact. He squeezes his eyes shut, half hoping that by not seeing Momoshiro, he'd go away.

How can he make him stop!?

Kaidoh growls and retaliates by cupping Momoshiro's own junk in his hand, squeezing it. Yes, for some reason he's not really thinking straight, as Kaidoh thinks that by touching Momoshiro's, he will somehow stop touching him in turn. But obviously that was a failure of a plan, as Kaidoh can feel it _grow_ under his touch. This is not stopping Momoshiro—this is encouraging him! Kaidoh awkwardly keeps his hand there, motionless, in the hopes Momoshiro will stop, but he doesn't. He can feel Momoshiro's fingers stroke up and down and despite Kaidoh not doing anything, the bulge in Momoshiro's pants is becoming increasingly bigger. Does Momoshiro get off on doing things like this? That's gross. Then again, the most disgusting part of it all, is that Kaidoh can feel himself growing bigger too, at Momoshiro's perverted and erratic movements with his fingers. Why the hell is Momoshiro doing this to him, and why the hell is his body reacting like this!? He's not a pervert! And he's certainly not going to let Momoshiro get away with this!

And curse his body for heating up like this feels good. Kaidoh wishes he could just amputate his penis at the moment; it's not listening to him anyway. It's almost fully hard, and that's just _insane_ because it's Momoshiro who's touching it. Momoshiro Takeshi, fondling him.

"I didn't think you'd be this sensitive," says Momoshiro thoughtfully.

Kaidoh hisses and finally looks up at him, intending to throw him off with the power of his glare, but finds that power somewhere stuck in his throat. Along with his voice. The moment he laid eyes on Momoshiro's face, Kaidoh can feel his entire body flood with that disgusting yet exciting rush, and it's all flowing towards his crotch. Momoshiro's face is ... well, for lack of a better and less disgusting word, it's all wanton looking. Clearly Momoshiro's thoughts have gone elsewhere, since he's got this lustful expression, his eyes half closed, and his lips parted while taking shallow breaths. Even his skin is glistening from his sweat. Then there's the fact that he's clearly rubbing his junk closer against Kaidoh's hand—he definitely did not want Kaidoh to let go. No, this was probably all part of his plan; get Kaidoh down on the bed, grope him, and ...

Why is he going along with this?

Why is Momoshiro's hand still down _there_ and rubbing him?

Why is Kaidoh's own body betraying him?

And why are Momoshiro's eyes so deadly to him all of the sudden?

Kaidoh covers his face with his other free arm, hoping to bury the embarrassment in there forever. "D-don't look at me," he says. He feels ashamed, dirty, guilty—yet he lets Momoshiro get away with it. He lets him touch him there. Kaidoh feels frozen in place.

"Hey ... hey Kaidoh," Momoshiro calls out. He grinds their crotches together to get Kaidoh's attention. "Touch me too, dumbass."

"Fuck no," Kaidoh says. He wants the ground to swallow him up, anything is better than being subjected to this torture, to having his body react against his will, and having it slowly take over his brain because it's actually sort of starting to feel ...

"Come on, don't you think it feels good?" Momoshiro's hand wraps around Kaidoh's entire shaft, and he pulls up, then down, sliding the fabric with him. It's giving him a little bit of carpet burn, but it's also making his heart beat faster.

But Kaidoh still has his willpower! "Fuck you, asshole," he says through his teeth, and pulls back his hand away from Momoshiro's crotch. Unfortunately, he doesn't look quite as menacing as he wanted to, not with his arm covering his thoroughly red face. Stupid body.

"Fine, I'll do it for you," says Momoshiro. His hand finally lets go, and Kaidoh feels relieved, yet strangely irritated that it stopped. But before he's got time to celebrate that Momoshiro finally stopped, Momoshiro rocks his hips forward, and manages to rub right over Kaidoh's penis, while simultaneously poking his own hard erection right above Kaidoh's pubic bone.

Kaidoh can't tell whether this is worse, or an improvement. He'll settle for the fact that anything Momoshiro does is annoying and disgusting.

And yet he doesn't move. He lets Momoshiro do it. He lets him dry hump him, because damnit, the friction feels _good_ , and Kaidoh feels absolutely disgusted about that. He's conflicted about himself, as he wants to push Momoshiro off and beat him up, but on the other hand, it doesn't feel that bad. It's disgustingly good. Maybe he can just ... let it happen, and then kick Momoshiro's ass afterwards. As Momoshiro's hips snap up and down against him, Kaidoh's starting to think that's a really good idea.

He still stays like that on the bed, with his arms covering his face, and breathing through his own fingers, unable to stop Momoshiro from humping him. Kaidoh can't look at him right now, this is utterly humiliating. It'd be like admitting defeat, and telling Momoshiro that he's allowed to do it, and that it doesn't feel bad at all. But with his sight being blocked, Kaidoh is much more focused on the sensations of his body, and on his hearing. He can hear the fabric rustle against each other, he can hear Momoshiro's sharp intake of breath, he can even hear his own breath going erratic. And the sensations ... oh the friction of their bodies are generating so much heat, Kaidoh isn't quite sure how he can still stand it. It's like everything is coming together, and it feels like something's about to burst.

Well, it was Momoshiro who did that first.

Kaidoh knows, because Momoshiro lets out this really odd gasp, which sounded more like a moan, and Kaidoh thinks it's disgusting, but he does peek through his fingers at Momoshiro's body. That's when he notices the wet spot rubbing up against him; Momoshiro's crotch has a few dotted wet circles staining his shorts. Wait ... is that ...? Oh. _Oh._ Gross!

Kaidoh growls at Momoshiro, suddenly remembering that he should be angry about this.

"Ahh ... sorry I'll clean it up," Momoshiro says a bit unfocused.

"You better, you disgusting pig," Kaidoh says. Except that Kaidoh is still hard, and it's throbbing painfully in his shorts. Why did Momoshiro get to have release while he's still hanging there in limbo?

"Shut up, you liked it too!" Momoshiro's hand is suddenly back on Kaidoh's hard penis, and he gulps loudly at the contact. "Oh right, you still haven't ..."

Of course he still hasn't! Kaidoh hisses and folds his arms over his face again; this is super embarrassing. But he can't help wondering; is Momoshiro still going to ...?

"Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll finish you off," Momoshiro says, and then slowly begins to stroke him again.

"I ... I ..." Kaidoh tries to form words, but his mind is being thrown into a tizzy again what with Momoshiro's hand distracting him. "Just stop talking," he finally manages to say out loud. Yes, if Momoshiro stops talking, then maybe Kaidoh can forget it's Momoshiro who's doing these perverted things to him. Then maybe he can pretend this has all just been a really weird dream, and when he wakes up, he can look at Momoshiro normally again and no one ever has to know he did something this disgusting.

Kaidoh is so disappointed with himself.

Momoshiro continues his irregular strokes, groping him, massaging him, it all feels so surreal. But Momoshiro was right ... at the moment, Kaidoh does like it. His hormones have taking over the rational part of his brain, so that now he can't do anything but want more, want Momoshiro's hand pulling at him like that and to keep doing it until he ... until he.

"Geez Kaidoh, hurry up, my arm is gonna fall off here," Momoshiro says, irritated. As if to tell Kaidoh to hurry up, he pinches the top of his penis, like a warning.

Except that's all Kaidoh needs to feel his orgasm flow through him, because that felt _really_ good. Within seconds he's dirtied his clothes, and his mind goes empty at the much needed pleasure. He can feel it from his fingertips to his toes; everything is buzzing with energy and a thumping heart beat.

"Ew gross, it got on my hands!" Momoshiro complains, pulling back and finally scrambling off of Kaidoh.

Kaidoh doesn't know whether to cry or ask to do it again.

****

**oOo**

The rules were simple enough, Kaidoh thinks. Don't take off any clothes, don't touch each other except for that part, and no kissing.

Kaidoh's always been one to follow the rules, he likes it when his life has order and is neat and organized. Except, even with these rules, there's nothing orderly about this entire ordeal between them. At best, it's organized chaos. That's the only way to describe Momoshiro; he just does things whenever he feels like it, a moron, really. Kaidoh doesn't like it. Kaidoh doesn't like to be bothered because Momoshiro 'wants to do it', and he certainly doesn't like it whenever Momoshiro would creep up behind him and start groping him.

But by god—he's definitely getting used to it. That doesn't mean Kaidoh likes it.

Or at least, he certainly won't admit it.

Kaidoh had thought, or hoped really, that after the first incident, Momoshiro would be too embarrassed to talk to him, or do it again. However, it seemed Kaidoh's the only one who felt any kind of embarrassment from it; Momoshiro is as shameless as always. And in fact, he became a lot more bothersome afterwards. He'd continuously beg to do it again, and harass Kaidoh until he'd give in. Kaidoh doesn't know why Momoshiro is so dead set on this, why he's so incredibly perverted. Maybe it's because he's already had experience before? Kaidoh feels agitated just thinking about Momoshiro doing something like this with someone else. What a stupid pervert.

Not that it makes Kaidoh any less of a pervert, since he's not really telling Momoshiro to back off and stop touching him.

Momoshiro had gotten a hold of Kaidoh's phone number (he has no idea how, since he never gave it to him), and used that as an opportunity to send Kaidoh multiple texts throughout the day. They were really stupid ones too, like how he'd mismatched his socks that day, or how much he was starving and lunch should come sooner, or when his captain complimented him, or how irritating it was that one of their teachers had a mustache, and the right side was _longer_. Needless to say, Kaidoh grew annoyed at these random text messages that were of no importance. He tried to ignore it, maybe Momoshiro would get the hint.

He didn't.

Momoshiro also used it to crack down on Kaidoh's track and field club, repeatedly calling it dumb, and that he should quit and join the tennis club. Well one day, Kaidoh had enough of being told he was a 'running freak', and angrily typed one text message back. Which seemed to escalate the whole thing, because Momoshiro is relentless, and he won't stop until he has the last word. He ended up sending twenty messages in anger that day, all of which were immediately replied to by Momoshiro. When they saw each other again in their room, Momoshiro pushed him down on his bed, and they jerked each other off. It felt good, which made Kaidoh go run a lot to work off the guilt he felt afterwards.

So now he's got this perverted roommate—which was his former teammate—who won't stop bothering him, and it seems like this disgusting thing between them is becoming normal; it's become a routine.

Kaidoh likes routine, he's not sure whether he likes _this_ to become a routine as well.

But occasionally, it's not that bad.

Like when Momoshiro messages him, and asks him to go eat somewhere with him, or he asks him if he's thirsty from running and would like some water, or when he thanks him for cleaning their room.

And that disgusting thing?

Well ...

It's still disgusting, but Kaidoh feels a little less guilty each time they do it. He still avoids looking Momoshiro in the eye when they do it, he feels like he'll break some kind of unwritten rule between them, or maybe he's just really scared of seeing that wanton expression on his face again. So it's best if he just keeps his distance. Yeah.

It's hard to keep a distance when Momoshiro just comes barreling into his room without any sort of prior announcement though.

"Yo!" he cheerfully greets Kaidoh.

Kaidoh hisses and slumps forward over his homework, pretending to be busy even when he had finished it an hour before.

"Not running tonight?" Momoshiro asks, and he sits down on his bed.

"I already did, but I have homework too," Kaidoh replies. He hopes this is enough to deter Momoshiro from doing any spontaneous things like ... groping.

"Oh ... well then, here you go anyway."

Kaidoh's about to ask what Momoshiro meant by that, when suddenly his cheek makes contact with something cold and plastic. He whirls his head around to look at Momoshiro accusingly. He's holding a bottle of water in front of him, with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"Figured you'd be thirsty from running, but I guess it can't hurt to drink it now as well."

Kaidoh blinks at the bottle, a bit confused and caught off guard, but he accepts it either way.

"T-thank you," he says, feeling grateful. When he realizes how friendly he sounds, he immediately jabs his elbow into Momoshiro's stomach and calls him a dumbass, while pointing out he's got his own bottle of water.

Yes, occasionally, it's not that bad. Kaidoh wonders how long they can keep this up.

****

**oOo**

"Dude, you're taking too long," Momoshiro says out of breath. "I already switched arms you know."

Kaidoh bites down on his lips and covers his face with his hands again. "Shut up, don't talk," he says.

"Well, I wouldn't be talking if you just came already. It's tiring!"

Momoshiro strokes Kaidoh faster, and it does feel good, but as always, whenever Momoshiro focuses his sole attention on Kaidoh (he always seems to orgasm pretty fast, so that leaves Kaidoh who still hasn't had his release yet), he feels all weird and self-conscious about what they're doing all of the sudden. It's not the same when they're doing it to each other at the same time, when Momoshiro is only half paying attention to what he's doing to Kaidoh, and that his tiny gasps get overpowered by Momoshiro's own harsh breathing.

Yeah, when they're doing it together, Kaidoh gets into it. But when Momoshiro is already finished, and still touching Kaidoh, giving him his undivided attention, Kaidoh feels a little overwhelmed and put on the spot. It's making him think he has to perform, and climax fast so Momoshiro won't be putting in too much effort. Which backfires, because that makes him more nervous and reduces his pleasure, and this ends up with Momoshiro having to put in more effort anyway. It doesn't help when Momoshiro complains about it; that actually makes Kaidoh feel even more guilty about it, and shameful too.

"Your talking is distracting me, asshole," Kaidoh growls.

"Well! If you'd just _come_ already ..." Momoshiro's strokes slow down. "Or is it me? Am I not good enough for you, huh? Is that it?" Then his strokes start up again, this time angrily pulling at Kaidoh.

"Huh, what?" Kaidoh's heart is pounding so hard in his chest that it feels like someone's hitting him over the head with drumsticks, so it's pretty hard to focus right now. "No just ... shut up."

"Well obviously you think I'm doing something wrong if I'm fapping my arm off here for about ten minutes and you still haven't come."

Kaidoh blushes crimson and he curses Momoshiro under his breath, leaning his head back against the wall. Why can't the idiot just shut up!? He's making him feel even more self-conscious! But he seems intent to find out why Kaidoh takes so long, and Kaidoh can't just _tell him_ why, that's even more embarrassing! He can't come out and say that he feels a bit weird when Momoshiro is so focused on getting him off, that it's making him feel rushed. Kaidoh groans out loud, not knowing what to do, so he settles on telling Momoshiro what he _does_ like. Maybe that will get him to shut up.

"Do that ... thing again," he says awkwardly.

Momoshiro raises his eyebrows. "Thing? What thing? Did I ever do a thing?"

Kaidoh kind of wants to die. "Ugh that ... thing you did ... when we first did it." He blushes even more at the memory; it's super embarrassing.

"Huh?" Momoshiro obviously does not seem to remember that he ever did anything special. "You want me to dry hump you ...?"

Kaidoh's fist whizzes past Momoshiro's cheek; he had almost hit it if Momoshiro's reflexes were a tad bit slower. "Dumbass, of course not!" he says angrily. "That's not what I was talking about. Idiot." All of this awkward talking it making Kaidoh lose his erection. Well. Maybe that's a good thing. Does he really need to tell Momoshiro what he likes sexually? Ew. He shouldn't even call it something like that.

"Hey, don't try to hit me asshole! Just tell me!" Momoshiro yells out in frustration.

Kaidoh feels his cheeks heat up like power plants. "Pinch it," he mutters under his breath.

"What?" Momoshiro leans closer.

"I said pinch it, you idiot!" Kaidoh growls. Oh great, now he's said it out loud and Momoshiro heard it. Just fucking great. This is way too humiliating.

"Oh, like this?" Momoshiro's hand stills at the top of Kaidoh's glans—which has already gotten a little bit softer—and he slightly squeezes it.

Kaidoh can feel his heartbeat thump in reaction, and his toes curl up from the electrifying sensation. He bites down on his lips to prevent himself from making any embarrassing or weird noises, and manages to huff through his nose instead. It feels just like the first time Momoshiro did it by accident. "Y-yes," he says bashfully.

And after that, Momoshiro doesn't say another word anymore. But even the silence is awkward, as Kaidoh can hear the disgusting noises he makes when he's out of breath, and the sound of Momoshiro's skin rubbing on Kaidoh's skin. It's disgusting, but it feels good. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on it, and tries not to worry about Momoshiro. Though Momoshiro seems to be doing just fine, he pulls his hand up, then down towards the base, then back up, and he pinches the top again. That feels _really_ good, so good Kaidoh gets his long awaited orgasm on Momoshiro's third try.

"Didn't know you liked pain that much, Kaidoh. I guess that makes you a masochist, huh?"

Kaidoh, who was reveling in the aftereffects of his pleasurable orgasm, finally snaps awake and glares at Momoshiro. "I'll show you what pain is!" Then he knees Momoshiro in his balls.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh hides behind the fence as he glances over the tennis court, trying to see where Momoshiro is. His track and field club sometimes runs along the campus instead. His captain said that a fresh change of scenery will do them all good. Their route also goes along the tennis courts, and it seems Momoshiro is blind or something, because he never notices it when Kaidoh runs by.

He finally does see Momoshiro, who is having a match with some other first year, and when Kaidoh sees him do that dunk smash he hasn't seen in a long time, he's suddenly filled with a nostalgic feeling. Kaidoh wants to play him again, he actually misses it a bit. But how can he? The day he tried to sign up for the club instead, was the day that everything changed. He can't possibly quit his own club now and join the tennis club. That's weird. Especially when it'll look like he's given into Momoshiro's demands, and anything but that please.

This doesn't prevent Kaidoh from imagining mock matches in his head, where he fantasizes that he beats Momoshiro with this new move he created in high school. But mostly, he just wants to feel that exciting rush again from playing a really good match. It has been way too long since he last played the idiot. It's not fair all of these people he doesn't even know get to play him, but he doesn't. He's resigned to watching the power idiot play behind some fence, and hope he doesn't get caught staring.

Well, maybe there is still some time to switch clubs ...

"Kaidoh!" suddenly someone calls out.

Kaidoh feels himself jump in his own skin and he hastily turns around. It's his captain, jogging up to him.

"Come on, we shouldn't linger. You're a good runner, you should be up front."

"Right." Kaidoh starts to run off the tennis grounds with his captain, but not before looking back over his shoulder and seeing Momoshiro win the match.

****

**oOo**

"So they agreed to let me try out, isn't that awesome?"

Kaidoh closes the door and cleans his face with his towel; he's sweaty from running. He did not expect Momoshiro to still be up this late, but he seems excited about something. "Try out for what?" Kaidoh asks.

"To let me become a regular!" Momoshiro says excitedly.

"Oh," is Kaidoh's response. He feels a pang of jealousy. "First years are allowed to do that?"

"Well, not really. But I'm a prodigy, so of course after seeing my real power they agreed to let me try out. I'm going to go up against the captain to test out my strength!"

"And I'm sure you have a lot of idiotic strength indeed," says Kaidoh with a huff.

"Hey! It's not idiotic! I'm awesome. Shut up. Be happy for me. Why won't you join the tennis club anyway, I know you'd be good enough to be a regular as well."

Again, there's that weird pang in Kaidoh's chest and he frowns at the way it's tightening around his heart. Yes he wants to play tennis, yes he wants to play tennis with Momoshiro—but he can't. It's already too late to switch now, now it would just seem weird and like he's giving into Momoshiro's demands; and Momoshiro would never let him live it down if that happens. Besides, the track and field club isn't that bad, Kaidoh does like running. That doesn't mean he isn't secretly smiling about the compliment Momoshiro paid him; that he's good enough to be a regular.

"I like running," Kaidoh says gruffly. That's all that needs to be said.

"Freak," Momoshiro says.

"So uh, when's this stupid try out?" Kaidoh asks, trying to appear aloof and not interested at all, even though he is.

"The day after tomorrow, in the morning. You should come!"

Kaidoh huffs. "Why would I come? I have my own club duties to attend to."

"Ahh, just come, cheer me on! Go go Momo!"

"I'm not saying that, that's stupid," says Kaidoh. He shakes his head and sits down on his own bed, wrapping the towel around his neck.

"Go go Momoshiro?" Momoshiro says this time.

Kaidoh hisses. "Moron. I'm not coming. I've got running to do."

"Stupid running freak."

"Stupid power tennis moron."

"Shut up, I'll win! No doubt!"

"If you're so sure, you don't need me there to cheer you on."

"But ... but ... fine, then don't come!" And with that, Momoshiro buries himself under his blanket and goes to sleep.

Kaidoh goes to sleep as well, a tiny smile on his lips as he thinks about how Momoshiro will become a regular.

****

**oOo**

_Come to the tennis courts, NOW._ Kaidoh rereads the text message, then puts the phone back in his pocket. That idiot wants something, and Kaidoh is pretty sure what it is. And even though he's in the middle of training himself, Kaidoh rushes out to greet Momoshiro at the tennis courts.

"Why did you tell me to come here?" he asks when he sees Momoshiro. Kaidoh already knows the answer though, especially when Momoshiro looks so stupidly happy about himself, wearing a new jersey he wasn't wearing before. He tries to look grumpy and annoyed at being called out.

"Can't you see?" Momoshiro asks, smiling wider and opening up his arms, as if to say; look at how awesome I am, but he's really just showing off his regular jacket. Momoshiro shakes his tennis racket at Kaidoh to hurry up and guess.

Kaidoh grunts. He's going to pretend to not get it, because otherwise, Momoshiro might think he's complimenting him. And Kaidoh doesn't really do compliments. "Congratulations, you know how to grip a stick," he says.

Momoshiro glares at Kaidoh, and tries to jab Kaidoh in his side with the racket, but Kaidoh jumps out of the way. "Asshole, can't you see I turned into a regular? Congratulate me normally!"

"Fine. Congratulations, you also know how to play with balls."

This time, Kaidoh can't evade the racket as it hits him on the head, but he guesses he had it coming. He _is_ genuinely happy for Momoshiro, and that he got in. Yet on the other hand, he's jealous, and feels left out, and he wonders what it would be like if the both of them were regulars. Luckily, Momoshiro distracts him from his thoughts by trying to pick a fight with him, so Kaidoh indulges him; he can never stop indulging him. And Momoshiro doesn't hold back, it's like he's releasing all of his energy on Kaidoh, hitting him with all he's got. Well, Kaidoh's not holding back either.

Kaidoh suddenly hears Momoshiro's laughter fill his ears; the idiot is having too much fun with this. Or maybe he's just happy he got accepted into the team. Regardless, it's contagious, and Kaidoh feels his mood change for the better as well. He's smiling as he pushes Momoshiro down on the ground and climbs on top of him; he wishes they could mess around like this every day. Where's it's just him and Momoshiro, wrestling each other like that's all that matters, like back in middle school. Momoshiro's the only person out there that gets it; that Kaidoh likes to fight like this because it feels good, it's always been a way to release steam.

Momoshiro stops laughing and looks up at Kaidoh, his face all sweaty and his breathing irregular. "Let's go back to our room," he says, and smiles mischievously.

Kaidoh can't agree more; lately their fights have pumped him up even more, and punching each other just doesn't give that release he's looking for.

When they're in their room, and end up on Momoshiro's bed, Kaidoh feels like someone took over his body, and is guiding him to do things. Because it's one of those rare times where he initiates it, where he's the first one to start touching. He doesn't know whether he's doing it because he feels like celebrating with Momoshiro for becoming a regular, or because he just wants to do it, because Momoshiro was looking at him all funny and needy, and Kaidoh himself was feeling a bit restless. But as always, they avoid looking at each other as they do it.

It's alright, Kaidoh doesn't need to; he feels enough. Feels the way Momoshiro touches him through his shorts, getting him hard and ready, and how he slips his hand in there and his fingers touch the scorching skin of his penis. Kaidoh hisses involuntarily, and quickly grips Momoshiro's erection as well. Then they start, up and down, stroking in tune with each other, and taking in shallow breaths. It's become a secret routine between them.

"You know ... you should try out too," Momoshiro says all of the sudden.

Kaidoh finds it hard to focus on Momoshiro's words; why the hell is he talking while they do this? The less talking, the better. He hisses, but continues to jerk Momoshiro off like there was no disturbance. "I'm already part of a club." Even though he'd like to join Momoshiro as well. But now's not a good time to talk about it ...

"Yeah but," Momoshiro takes in a deep breath, "that's just stupid running."

Kaidoh grips Momoshiro tighter. "I like running," he grunts. Running is fine. He doesn't need tennis. He doesn't need Momoshiro. "The track and field club is fine. Now shut up."

"But there's no sense of teamwork!" Momoshiro objects. Kaidoh is seriously thinking about hitting him again to get him to shut up. "All you do is run alone, where's the fun in that." Momoshiro gasps and his rhythm gets sloppier.

"Moron, ever heard of a relay race?" Kaidoh fires back. But Momoshiro is right; there is no teamwork in the club. And most importantly, Momoshiro isn't there either, and it's not like he's good at making friends. He does want to join but ... he can't. It would seem so weird, especially after Momoshiro's been bugging him about it for well over a month. That just makes it look like he joined because of Momoshiro.

Which wouldn't be a lie, and that's what's so embarrassing. Kaidoh can't do it.

"That doesn't count!" Momoshiro bites his lip before he releases it again to talk. "Don't you miss it ... don't you miss playing with me?"

Kaidoh feels an electric shock fizzle through his spine, and he immediately covers Momoshiro's mouth with his hand. He didn't want to hear that. Why did he say that? It's crumbling Kaidoh's defense, and now he wants to do nothing more than to quit his club and join the tennis one. This isn't fair ... if Momoshiro says things like that ... it's almost like he really cares if Kaidoh is there or not. It's messing up Kaidoh's thoughts, and demolishes his iron will.

"Can't you just shut up for now?" Kaidoh says angrily. Momoshiro needs to stop talking, because the more he does, the more Kaidoh can feel his resolve crumble down, his pride evaporating into dust—to the point where he can't deny the fact that he misses it anymore. Anymore talking, and Momoshiro will have won him over with his stupid talking and his stupid smile and his stupid laugh, and oh god Kaidoh really misses it badly. This isn't fair.

Momoshiro huffs against Kaidoh's hand, then shakes his head so that Kaidoh removes it from his mouth, instead wrapping it around his neck instead. He doesn't trust Momoshiro to stop talking, so he keeps it there, just in case.

Yeah, just in case.

"Fine," says Momoshiro.

Momoshiro truly does shut up, Kaidoh is surprised. Except for those noises he makes sometimes, noises that are printed into Kaidoh's memory. They're embarrassing noises, but when they're like this, Kaidoh actually kind of likes hearing it. It means Momoshiro is enjoying himself, and it's Kaidoh who's doing that to him—like he has the power to make him feel good, and he gets a kick out of that.

Not that Momoshiro isn't making him feel good too. Kaidoh is probably equally unhinged as him; it feels good to him too.

Kaidoh's hand never leaves Momoshiro's neck. He knows he should probably pull it back, especially since Momoshiro's hair is making his fingers itch, but Momoshiro doesn't seem to mind right now. Maybe it's okay. Maybe Kaidoh can continue to keep it there, because it feels nice to have both hands doing something, instead of leaving one awkwardly at his side. It's also very exhilarating to Kaidoh that he can feel Momoshiro's erratic pulse thump against the palm of his hand, and it keeps speeding up. It reminds him that Momoshiro is a living and breathing thing, and most definitely real. This is not some weird dream he came up with, or worse, a gross fantasy.

It might have been that way, at first, when Momoshiro basically forced himself on Kaidoh, but he can't deny that he likes it now too. That he probably wouldn't stop, not unless Momoshiro did.

It's still embarrassing though, just like how he still can't look him in the eye. Kaidoh focuses on the way Momoshiro's hair falls against his fingers, and how his skin is glistening in the small amount of moonlight peeking through the curtains. He gets this weird urge to touch Momoshiro's hair; it's probably damp from his sweat. Momoshiro always gets sweaty when they do this.

Not a minute later, Kaidoh can feel Momoshiro's heartbeat leaping wildly against his hand, and Kaidoh speeds up his strokes in return. And then Momoshiro coughs out a groan and bucks his trembling hips up against Kaidoh's hand. He feels warm liquid stain his hand and Kaidoh smirks just a little, feeling accomplished, and slows down his stroking until it's at a much more relaxing pace. Momoshiro has stopped his own strokes to enjoy the feeling, with his head thrown back as if he doesn't have a care in the world. Kaidoh keeps him from moving away too far, by keeping his hand on his neck. It's like he refuses to let go now he's got a hold on him. When he feels Momoshiro's penis become soft in his hand, he cleans it all up with tissues (which is always next to Momoshiro's bed), like he's done a bunch of other times before.

When Kaidoh is done, he turns back to Momoshiro, then squeezes Momoshiro's neck; get back to work. He's still rock hard, and after hearing Momoshiro's groan and feeling his sperm seep into his hand, it only made him more disgustingly horny. It's actually rather worrying how much he's gotten hooked on this feeling, how much he actually wants Momoshiro to continue. It still makes him feel disgusted with himself, but at the moment, he kind of needs Momoshiro's hand to start moving.

And Momoshiro does, quick to get back into the previous rhythm, his hand slick and warm, and it's just what Kaidoh's craving. He can't help but rotate his hips until he's meeting Momoshiro's hand each time, it's hard to resist the urge. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on the friction of Momoshiro's hand, how Momoshiro's hair tickles his fingers, and how his heartbeat hasn't really slowed down, and it's still pulsating against Kaidoh's hand. It's nice to be able to keep it there, like it isn't bothering Momoshiro, and it's not bothering Kaidoh either.

Momoshiro quickens his pace, dragging out embarrassing noises from Kaidoh's throat. In the back of his mind, he hopes Momoshiro's deaf, because this is not how he should be acting, how he should be sounding. But Kaidoh can't hide his reactions, not when they're this close and not when Momoshiro is paying full attention to him. He likes that attention, though he won't ever say that out loud. Kaidoh's heart thumps faster as he can feel himself being pulled over the edge, and Momoshiro does that thing again where he pinches the glans and Kaidoh loses it. He scratches the back of Momoshiro's head with his fingers and then a shock rumbles through his entire body as he climaxes.

Kaidoh lets out a shaky breath. That felt good.

For a small moment in time, they stay like this, sitting in front of each other, doing nothing but try and steady their breathing and relax. Yes, Kaidoh's feeling very relaxed. There's a pleasant undercurrent of electricity humming through his fingers and toes, it keeps Kaidoh from moving, from moving away from Momoshiro. It's like each time they finish up, the longer Kaidoh lingers to be able to feel that buzz going through his body. Even Momoshiro's warm pulse against his hand feels reassuring and has this calming effect on him. Yet despite this weird tranquil moment, Kaidoh's got adrenaline pumping through him still. He wonders if Momoshiro feels the same.

"Stop touching me, gross," Momoshiro says all of the sudden, and he pushes at Kaidoh's chest to get him to back off.

That pleasant buzzing feeling turns into a painful sting, like someone just dumped a bucket of ice on him, and Kaidoh's body tenses up. He hisses awkwardly and yanks his hand back, like it had been called out as the guilty party.

He's almost forgotten. For just a small second, Kaidoh was ignorant of Momoshiro's rule; he thought that maybe, just maybe, it was alright. But he was wrong. Momoshiro is not okay with it, and that stings more than it should, for reasons Kaidoh can't quite explain, and right now, he doesn't care either. He promptly cleans himself up without saying a word, throws the tissue box at Momoshiro's head, and goes back to his own bed.

What was he thinking anyway? Momoshiro obviously thinks it's gross. Maybe Kaidoh's gross in general. Even he thinks it's a bit gross.

Touching Momoshiro like that won't happen again.

****

**oOo**

"Just come over here already," Momoshiro whines. He is sitting on his bed facing Kaidoh.

Kaidoh bites down on his lip and frowns at his homework. No, he can't give into temptation. Momoshiro's incessant whining won't sway him anymore. He will be strong, and reject any of his advances or suggestions. After all, Kaidoh's got homework to do.

But mostly, he's just a little afraid that Momoshiro might call him gross again.

Just a little.

Not like it really bothers him or something. No, that's preposterous.

"Come _ooon_ , it's so late already and I'm about to fall asleep."

"Then why don't you go _sleep?_ " Kaidoh responds, deadpan.

"Because!" Momoshiro whines once more. It's grating on Kaidoh's nerves. "It'll ... give me the workout that you told me I need?" he explains hopefully, as if this is reason enough for Kaidoh to engage him.

Well, it might be working. Just a bit. But then Kaidoh remembers what Momoshiro said to him two days ago, then shakes his head and taps his pencil against his notebook. "No, I have homework." Then, because otherwise it didn't feel aggressive enough, he says, "And you smell like a dead fish."

"Fine!" Momoshiro yells. He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "Whatever. Not like I wanted to do it anyway. You keep doing your stupid homework."

Kaidoh rolls his eyes at Momoshiro's temper tantrum, he can be such an idiot sometimes. "I will."

"Asshole."

With that, Kaidoh hopes the argument is settled, and maybe he _can_ actually finish his homework tonight. But knowing Momoshiro, things are never expected; he's as unpredictable as he comes. Always coming up with these scheming weird plots and just blurting out whatever he feels like it. A stark contrast to the calm and composed Kaidoh, who thinks before he says something. Though when it comes to Momoshiro, he's probably just as hotheaded as he is. They've always been like that. He smiles fondly at the memories they shared together in middle school, getting into so many stupid fights. Heh.

Those childhood memories fade away as soon as Kaidoh hears the rustling of fabric. He perks up his ears, trying not to look over at Momoshiro's direction, because that would somehow mean he lost the argument or something, so he listens instead. Sounds like Momoshiro's doing something ... sounds like friction.

"What are you doing?" Kaidoh asks him accusingly, chair turned around to face Momoshiro; he definitely lost.

"What's it looks like I'm doing?" Momoshiro's got one hand down his shorts, and it's moving, stroking the bulge underneath it.

Ew gross—he's masturbating in front of him? "That's disgusting," Kaidoh says.

Momoshiro sticks up his nose, then throws his head back against the wall as he closes his eyes and continues undisturbed. Kaidoh can't tear his eyes away; Momoshiro is acting completely shameless, no sense of embarrassment at all that he's doing this directly in front of Kaidoh. Kaidoh finally does pull his eyes away—from his crotch of course—and looks at Momoshiro's face instead. It's half covered by the shadows of the room, but like this, when Momoshiro's eyes are closed, Kaidoh can take the time to look at him without being discovered.

It's weird, but weird has never held Kaidoh back before, so he studies Momoshiro's face as it crinkles up in places in tune with his strokes. His eyebrows are stuck in a constant furrow; he seems to be really concentrated on this. His lips are parted slightly, and Kaidoh can hear the breath he takes with them. And when he licks his lips, Kaidoh feels his resolve crumbles to pieces.

The weird mixture of Momoshiro pleasuring himself in front of Kaidoh, while making those ... those ... _faces_ , is actually turning Kaidoh on. Without being touched. This is something Kaidoh should be worried about, but at the moment, he's kind of focused on Momoshiro right now. Who is there on the bed, touching himself, and Kaidoh wants to be the one to do the touching all of the sudden.

No wait, that's gross, remember? Kaidoh shakes his head and tries to prevent himself from indulging that odd urge to get up and wrap his own hand around Momoshiro's ...

No, no—he can't. Remember last time Kaidoh? What if he just calls him gross again?

Momoshiro is completely oblivious to Kaidoh's internal struggle, and is determined to keep fondling himself in front of Kaidoh. And pulling weird faces. Oh, and making weird noises. He's doing it on purpose isn't he? He's trying to get Kaidoh to come over and ... and ... it's working.

So he gets up from his chair, unable to resist the idiot any further. "Dumbass," Kaidoh says, trying to still keep up the pretense that this is a chore to him. So that Momoshiro won't know he genuinely wants to.

"Sure took you long enough," Momoshiro says with a devious smirk once Kaidoh crawls onto the mattress.

Kaidoh doesn't argue back, instead he lowers his eyes now that Momoshiro is looking at him. No matter how many times they do this, having Momoshiro look at him as he does this is still nerve wrecking. He wraps his fingers around Momoshiro's wrist, and slowly pulls it out of his shorts. His fingers linger for a bit, slipping away from Momoshiro's wrist until they touch the inside of his palm, and Kaidoh can feel his adrenaline pumping again. But he quickly retreats them when he remembers Momoshiro finds any sort of touching gross. Then he slips his fingers under the waistband of Momoshiro's shorts, and when he feels his penis, he grips it, then pulls it out in the open; he gets to work.

Momoshiro's body is quick to respond to him, and that makes Kaidoh feel satisfied, almost as if he wants to gloat about how much Momoshiro seems to like this. Kaidoh's the one doing this, Kaidoh's the one touching him, making him feel these things, making the muscles in his legs tense up, making him claw at the mattress, making him breathe irregularly. And even if Momoshiro is just sitting there, not touching him at all, Kaidoh's overwhelmed by that pleasant buzzing feeling again. It courses throughout his entire body, and it only becomes stronger.

Kaidoh is a bit amazed by how hard Momoshiro feels in his hand, how he can even feel a slight pulse. Not to mention how much precum Momoshiro is producing; it's lubricating his entire hand. Kaidoh gets really into it, that he only half hears what Momoshiro says to him.

Huh, what did he say?

Oh, get closer. Right, Momoshiro wants to touch him too.

Wait, he wants to?

An unexplainable flush spreads over Kaidoh's face, and he moves closer, feeling a lot more daring than before. He positions himself in between Momoshiro's legs, nudging at them so he spreads them and he can sit down. And then he moves even closer, closer than they've ever been before, like Kaidoh's being pulled by this strange magnetic force. Momoshiro raises his hand, but instead of groping Kaidoh, he pushes it against Kaidoh's shoulder. There's not much force there, especially when Momoshiro is so preoccupied as it is, so he ends up just holding onto Kaidoh.

Kaidoh's heart feels like it's about to burst out of his throat, it's racing so fast.

He pumps faster, suddenly feeling energized with a strong and strange power. Momoshiro doesn't mind, is what Kaidoh's thinking. He _wants_ to touch him too. He's not even pulling it away, or calling him gross.

And just when Kaidoh thought this couldn't get any better, Momoshiro leans forward, almost hesitating, before his forehead bumps against Kaidoh's. Kaidoh freezes up, even his hand movement stops, and his eyes are wide open, staring at Momoshiro in front of him, whose eyes are closed, but he's definitely leaning his forehead against Kaidoh's for support.

Kaidoh doesn't know what to do. Jerking off had seemed easy—up and down is all you need to know—but now he doesn't know how to respond. What does Momoshiro suddenly want from him? Does he want to touch Kaidoh ... ?

As Kaidoh dances a little cheerleading routine in his mind, Momoshiro's hand slips away from his shoulder and falls into his lap, at the same time as his forehead slides down, suddenly going so fast it seems Momoshiro had fallen over. That's when the cheerleading routine ended with a blast; Momoshiro's lips brush over Kaidoh's. His lips zing with a voltage so high, it makes all of Kaidoh's muscles twitch in response. Then Momoshiro's lips slide down to his chin ... then his neck ... until he buries his face into Kaidoh's neck.

Then he snores.

Kaidoh's body has turned to stone, and his hands and arms—hell his entire body—feels awkward and stiff and inappropriate. Not to mention he feels like he's on _fire._

"... M-Momoshiro?" Kaidoh croaks out.

Momoshiro doesn't budge, just breathes slowly against Kaidoh's skin.

Asleep. The dumbass has fallen asleep.

This would have pissed Kaidoh off to no end, except he's still stuck in that place, with Momoshiro's half-hard penis still gripped in his hand, and Momoshiro's lips pressing lightly into the nook of his neck. It's ... it's too much. It's making Kaidoh's mind spin. Did Momoshiro's lips really touch his just now? Does that even count as a kiss? They definitely made lip contact … and right now, they're still touching him, on his neck, and it's making all of the small hairs stand on end, goosebumps popping up everywhere.

This isn't right. Momoshiro shouldn't be ... no, Kaidoh shouldn't be ... yes, he should push him away and go to bed. The idiot fell asleep. Haha. He can give him hell for it tomorrow, and then it would be a funny memory.

Except Kaidoh doesn't think it's funny at all. In fact, he's feeling things he's never felt before, and there's one crystal clear thing going through his mind; Momoshiro's body feels nice. And then he realizes, he _has_ felt this way before. He's had Momoshiro's body against him like this as well, exactly to the way his lips were pressed into his neck.

During their trip to the U-17 camp, which was over four years ago, Kaidoh had to carry Momoshiro around on his back. The idiot had fallen asleep then—something about it being too comfortable—and Kaidoh had to deal with him the entire way like that. Momoshiro's sleeping body felt warm on his back, and his lips were firmly pressed into his neck, something which made him blush against his own will because it felt weird, but also good, and that made him super awkward about the whole thing. Yet at the same time he was relieved Momoshiro was okay and safe on his back. Kaidoh has always remembered that moment, not because they had gotten into a big fight, not because they were playing a great match, not because Momoshiro said something stupid—no, Kaidoh remembers because back then, he was glad Momoshiro's hands were hurt, just so he could take care of him and carry him around like this.

Kaidoh secretly likes pandering to Momoshiro.

And this? Where Momoshiro is resting against him again? Just like that one time? Kaidoh feels like he can't give up this opportunity.

Something stirs up inside of Kaidoh, something warm and fuzzy and it's sort of fizzling over. His hand lets go of Momoshiro's now flaccid penis, and instead of using it to push Momoshiro away—to push all of these feelings away—it crawls up Momoshiro's side until it's behind his back. Kaidoh snuggles closer to Momoshiro's body as he embraces him with both his arms, the palm of his hands lay flat against Momoshiro's back. This feels like something forbidden, something impossible, something dangerous, but Kaidoh's mind isn't thinking straight. He's completely lost to this fluttery current in his stomach. And with Momoshiro asleep right now, Kaidoh is allowed to indulge that feeling he's repressed so many times before.

He presses his nose into Momoshiro's neck and inhales his scent, letting out a small sigh afterwards.

Yup, this is definitely creepy.

Any moment now, the gravity of the situation will come rushing back to Kaidoh, and he'll forever be ashamed of himself.

But not before his lips purse out to touch Momoshiro's neck, and kisses it lightly.

 _That's_ when reality come back to him. Kaidoh immediately pulls back with a very red face, and puts up his arms as if he's been put under arrest. Momoshiro's lifeless body simply slumps up against him even more, and Kaidoh feels like he's being overrun by a stampede of ants, as his skin is itchy and crawly and the goosebumps just won't stop. He pushes Momoshiro away and scrambles off of the bed.

Kaidoh takes in deep breaths. He's panicking, he doesn't know why he did that. Why? They had rules ... he just broke them ... well technically Momoshiro broke them first—but he continued it. Why did he do that? Why did he ... want to?

"You stupid asshole," Kaidoh curses against Momoshiro, his voice thick with anxiety.

_What did he do!?_

Confused and angry at himself at what he did, Kaidoh does what Kaidoh does best; he runs. He runs all night, and doesn't even get any sleep that day.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh feels like he's opened Pandora's box. All of these unexplained feelings have poured out of him, and they won't stop washing over him each time he thinks of Momoshiro, and what he did to him.

Oh how he wishes he could close that box. To shove it all away, locked to infinity, underneath a dusty bed that no one ever looks under anymore. Push it away to a dark, dark place, because Kaidoh's going kind of insane with this, this … _plague._

But no matter how hard he tries to forget, tries to ignore it, Kaidoh knows what he did—remembers it with perfect clarity, really—and most importantly, he keeps wanting to do it again. Every time he looks at Momoshiro, he just wants to reach out and touch him, to have the tips of his fingers brush over the smooth skin at the back of his neck, to have those lips touch his own again … these disgusting thoughts and aching needs just won't stop.

And the worst part of it all—or maybe it's a blessing in disguise—is that Momoshiro is completely oblivious to it. He doesn't remember what happened that night when he fell asleep. He probably thinks he got a good night's sleep out of it, he doesn't know what Kaidoh did. He doesn't know their lips touched. He doesn't know that Kaidoh impulsively embraced him, and now he's stuck with all of these feelings that give him goosebumps each time Momoshiro so much as looks at him.

Stupid idiot. It's all his fault. If he hadn't fallen asleep then … then he could have stopped Kaidoh from pushing the no touching rule. Maybe even have called him gross to get him to back off. Yeah. If only he had stayed awake.

Unable to really look Momoshiro in the eye anymore, or even say anything to him, Kaidoh goes out of his way to prevent running into the idiot, and keeps running later and later so that they won't be alone together in a room. In essence, he's trying to run away from this melting pot of creepy crawlies in his stomach, and thinks that by just running a lot, this will actually work. He doesn't know what else to do. So he avoids Momoshiro like he does actually have the plague. It's because Kaidoh feels like if Momoshiro did _that_ thing with him again, like nothing ever happened, Kaidoh's carefully constructed wall might crack under pressure. It might just make all of the curses flood out of Pandora's box with full force. It would be chaos, unexpected, and Kaidoh doesn't like either of those. He likes the expected, he likes order—and damnit, why can't Momoshiro just go away and leave him alone? It's all his fault he's stuck with these feelings, and he doesn't even seem to realize what he did.

Kaidoh trains a lot more than usual, filling up all of his free time with running, lifting weights, and more running. He knows he's literally running away from Momoshiro, sometimes he even ducks behind a potted plant if he spots him in the hallways, but Kaidoh really has no clue what else he can do. If Momoshiro talks to him, Kaidoh might just reveal everything, everything that he did to Momoshiro that night, and everything that's still bottled up inside of him.

Momoshiro might just find out that Kaidoh is aching to touch him in the most disgusting places, and it's so wrong, so damn shameful, so Kaidoh can't let Momoshiro know. He can't, simply can't.

Kaidoh is completely disgusted with himself for having these feelings, and at night it's eating away at him, as Momoshiro sleeps on the other side of the room. So close, yet so far.

It's one thing to do the thing that they do, Kaidoh can grasp it on a very instinctual level—something primal and hormonal powered. It's another to have this humming sensation buzz through his entire skin anytime he senses Momoshiro is near him, and he's filled with this inexplicably need to have Momoshiro closer, to touch him, to feel him, to simply _be_ with him.

Kaidoh simply just doesn't know what to do anymore. So he ignores Momoshiro, for as long as he can.

He doesn't know how long that will last, as Momoshiro knows something is up, and this makes Kaidoh even more anxious. What if Momoshiro tries to demand why he's purposely avoiding him? What if Momoshiro corners him somewhere where he can't escape? Then he won't have a choice but to look at Momoshiro, and Kaidoh dreads the day that will happen, as he can't prepare himself for the unexpected. Everything with Momoshiro always feels like Kaidoh is wading into enemy territory blindfolded. He feels naked and without armour, and Momoshiro is holding all the guns.

Stupid bastard.

Yet, despite all of his running away, and ducking behind furniture whenever Momoshiro is in sight—Kaidoh can't help but secretly leer at Momoshiro anyway. When his club goes running through campus again, Kaidoh slips away from the group and hides behind the tennis club house. He can feel his heart beat faster, and his mind is screaming at him to let it go, and go back to his club activities, but Kaidoh can't help but what to see him again. It's super frustrating, and totally annoying, but Kaidoh's a puppet to these feelings, and all of his strings are being pulled that he has no control over. So he secretly stares at the tennis club members going about their business.

Then he spots Momoshiro, wearing his regular jacket, and looking extremely pissed off. Kaidoh feels his heart bang repeatedly against his ribcage, almost painfully so, and he feels this flush spread across his cheeks.

What the hell is he doing? Spying on Momoshiro … just how low can Kaidoh go?

He seriously needs to stop this. These stupid goosebumpy feelings should also disappear, at once.

And then suddenly, Kaidoh's staring right into Momoshiro's eyes.

He saw him.

Oh fuck.

Flustered like never before (and that includes the time when he had to explain to Momoshiro to 'do that thing again'), Kaidoh turns beet red and skitters away at hyperspeed—as fast as his feet can take him. Momoshiro gives chase. An alarm rings hard in Kaidoh's mind, and thankfully, he's an expert at running, because he easily leaves Momoshiro behind, who just curses at him instead because he can't catch up to Kaidoh. Thank god Kaidoh loves to run.

When Kaidoh comes to a stop, his heart is still beating a thousand miles per minute; it just won't calm down at all. Great. Kaidoh's sure Momoshiro will want to question him on this. That day he dreaded where Momoshiro would confront him? That's probably today. Kaidoh gulps loudly and tries to empty his mind by running the entire day.

Or at least, Kaidoh kind of wishes it was the entire day, but he's tired, and he actually does need to get back to his room because he's still got some notes he needs to read over for a test, and he hates not being prepared for a test. So a little after midnight, Kaidoh finally returns to their dormroom, feeling like he's dragging lead around, with how heavy his legs suddenly feel. There's an unpleasant weight rotting in the pit of his stomach that just won't go away. It's the anticipation. The anticipation of seeing Momoshiro again, and knowing this won't end well.

Kaidoh just prays Momoshiro is asleep, since he seems to be good at that.

Carefully, Kaidoh approaches the door, softly turns the handle, and opens the door. It's dark inside, and for a small moment in time, Kaidoh breathes out a sigh of relief; Momoshiro's asleep.

That sigh of relief turns into a gasp of surprise when Kaidoh gets flung back at the door, feeling hands grab at his shirt angrily. He doesn't need to see to know who those hands belong to.

"What the hell Kaidoh! You're avoiding me!" Momoshiro yells right into Kaidoh's face.

Uhh, uhh. Kaidoh's kind of shell shocked here.

For a week he managed to carefully avoid being too close to Momoshiro. His carefully constructed barricade against Momoshiro's advances held up for a week, and now that idiot came barreling straight through like it was nothing. Kaidoh can already feel it, the surges of feelings threatening to surface and bubble over. It starts pulsating from the point where Momoshiro's hands are curled around Kaidoh's shirt, a warm and prickly kind of feeling runs through his chest, down his arms and back, leaving him with this chill crawling down his spine.

 _It's been so long._ No. He can't think like that. Kaidoh must prevail, he must remember to ignore these fizzly sensations as much as possible.

"You never come home this late," Momoshiro growls at him, completely unaware of the effect he's having on Kaidoh.

Why is it only Kaidoh that's like this? Why is Momoshiro so damn stupid? Can't he pick up the giant clue of leave Kaidoh the fuck alone? That's all he wanted. And maybe, just maybe, Kaidoh would stop feeling so mushy and weird, and then they could act normal again like always.

 _This?_ This is far from normal.

"I—I …" Kaidoh stutters. His voice doesn't want to come out of his throat anymore, aside from embarrassing squeaky noises because he's feeling squeamish in Momoshiro's hold.

Then Momoshiro pushes even harder against his chest—his entire body pressing with it, and Kaidoh's legs suddenly feel like jelly. That's too much touching! Kaidoh's mind is like a whirlwind of emotions and contradictions. Contradictions, because one half is telling him he hates being this close to Momoshiro, and the other half is telling him he likes being this close. It's too damn confusing, and annoying, and Kaidoh's getting palpitations.

Kaidoh tries to get himself to talk through sheer willpower alone, and it's working. Sort of. "I … was running." He manages to sound like his usual grouchy self, or at least he hopes it sounds like it, unlike the ball of nerves he feels on the inside. "A-at the club." Now if only he could stop making himself shake through willpower, then that would be fantastic. Unfortunately, Momoshiro's body heat only serves to make him tremble more. Even Momoshiro's breath that's so close to his face is making him feel woozy.

Especially like this, in the dark where he can't see, Kaidoh's senses are heightened that it's making everything seem more heart pounding than it really is. Or maybe it's always been like this.

"Liar. What were you doing at the tennis courts today, huh?"

Well Momoshiro wasn't supposed to see that! Kaidoh bites his lip and tries to think of a good explanation that doesn't involve the words spying or stalking. Because he totally wasn't. However, since he can't come up with anything, he just growls instead out of frustration, then finally regains the feeling back in his arms, and he tries to pry Momoshiro's hands off of him. "What's it to you, asshole!" he fires back, though sounding a lot more confident than he actually feels. He hopes Momoshiro will fall for this confident front.

"When you're watching me, of course it's my business to know why!" Momoshiro says.

"S-stupid!" He wasn't supposed to see that at all! "I wasn't w-watching you. Dumbass." Perhaps if Kaidoh can insult Momoshiro a bit more, than maybe he'll really believe Kaidoh wasn't spying on him. Maybe it'll make Kaidoh believe it himself as well. That he never tried to look for Momoshiro, that he never wanted to see his face just because.

But he did. And it's making his insides feel all syrupy.

Momoshiro tilts his face and leans in closer. Kaidoh sucks in a breath and suddenly holds still , completely afraid of moving as that might open Pandora's box completely, and he will want to act on his stupid urges. Momoshiro's so close it's overwhelming him, it's making him short of breath because he's freaking out a bit. Kaidoh turns his head away, afraid it might be written all over his face if Momoshiro looked at him up close like this.

"Then why were you there?" Momoshiro asks.

"B-because the club was running around campus." That, at least, is not a lie. "Now let me go!" Kaidoh almost pleads. If Momoshiro continues to keep him trapped like this against the door, with their bodies suffocating each other, then Kaidoh might just … he might just …

"No!" Momoshiro presses his knuckles into Kaidoh's chest even tighter. Kaidoh sucks in a breath of air as he can feel his chest explode in stupid confetti, like there's a festival being held inside of him, and they're just about to start the countdown for the fireworks. Kaidoh can't let that happen—he can't let Momoshiro even have an inkling of knowing what Kaidoh is feeling, he _must_ control these emotions!

He desperately tries to get away from Momoshiro again, trying his best not to look at him either, as that would simply add fuel to the fire. Don't look … just don't look. Then maybe Kaidoh can escape. Escape Momoshiro and these weird creepy vibrations in his stomach.

"Why won't you even look at me? Are you seriously that pissed off because of last time?"

Kaidoh lets out a puff of air that's sounds like a cross between annoyance and defeat. That giant anvil floating above Momoshiro's head—the big fucking clue that Kaidoh was hiding without much success—Momoshiro just completely ignored it. Total obliviousness. Momoshiro wouldn't be able to read this situation even if Kaidoh had a red blinking beacon strapped to his forehead that displayed everything he was feeling for Momoshiro at the moment.

And for now, Momoshiro's obliviousness to his inner turmoil is enough for Kaidoh's blood to run cold, and it's making his fluttery heart quiet down. Instead he's left feeling a bit resentful, like Momoshiro isn't good at picking up hints, like for some reason, he should have, even though Kaidoh's been trying so hard to hide it, to escape from it. So finally he manages to break free from this idiotic guy who kept him trapped against the door. Kaidoh immediately springs away, fleeing towards the middle of the room while pulling his bandana over his face to cover it.

Frustrated, ashamed, annoyed and slightly jittery—Kaidoh's heart isn't sticking to just one emotion. It's just chaos.

Though, Kaidoh should be glad. Momoshiro's too much of an idiot to have known, to have sensed the change. He noticed something alright, but apparently he thinks Kaidoh's _pissed_. No, he's not. Well, maybe he is, but he's pissed off at the way he's feeling—he's not necessarily pissed at Momoshiro. Wait, scratch that. He's _always_ pissed off at Momoshiro. He's the one that made him feel these weird jumpy feelings in the first place! But … no, pissed isn't the word he'd use to describe this … this _thing_. Conflicted, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed—those fit much better.

"No, you idiot. I'm not mad." Kaidoh sighs and buries his face into his bandana. It's hard to keep standing up straight, as Kaidoh's had all of his energy sapped right out of him, just from this brief encounter with Momoshiro's hands and warm body.

And yet he still secretly longs to feel it again. But that's disgusting, and gross. He shouldn't, he really shouldn't. Momoshiro is an idiot anyway, why would he want to feel him up like some kind of pervert? Kaidoh's got standards and morals.

"Yeah right—you haven't even spoken more than a few words to me in the past week," says Momoshiro with a snarl. "Obviously you're pissed."

Kaidoh snaps. "Shut up! It's your fault anyway!" He lunges at Momoshiro and roughly shoves _him_ up against the door this time.

"What—how's it my fault!?" Momoshiro retaliates immediately, never being one to back down from an accusation.

Kaidoh huffs in his face. "You shouldn't have fallen asleep, you stupid asshole." There, he said it. After a week of running away from Momoshiro, he's said it. Momoshiro shouldn't have fallen asleep, then maybe Kaidoh wouldn't be stuck here wishing that Momoshiro did it again, so he could secretly hold him.

Kaidoh almost wants to throw up at those disgusting mushy thoughts entering his mind. The close proximity to Momoshiro's stupidity is messing up his judgement. Suddenly whatever looked like a seriously bad idea last week, doesn't seem like such a bad idea right now. Especially since Kaidoh's touching him again, and it's starting to feel good once more.

And that's _bad._ Kaidoh should let go of Momoshiro, but for some reason, his muscles are still tightly clenched, and refusing to budge or listen to him. His body doesn't want to be separated from Momoshiro again.

"Whatever, I was tired, and it felt good, you can't blame me for that," Momoshiro mumbles.

Kaidoh blinks a few times; he's never heard Momoshiro say anything like that about what they do. He almost wants to ask; does it really feel good for you? Because it feels good for him. Really good. But again, it's not about that. Kaidoh's not _angry_ , just terribly confused, and well, getting a bit less confused the longer he stays this close and pressed up against Momoshiro.

"It's not …" Kaidoh starts, pausing as he tries to formulate his thoughts when they're being run over by something else, something more heart pounding. Maybe he can still escape these feelings, maybe he can still pull back—it's not too late, he hasn't yet done anything out of the ordinary. Picking a fight with Momoshiro is one of the most normal things he could have done, so it's not too late. Kaidoh hasn't yet pulled any funny business. He can still salvage the situation. He sighs. "Just don't fall asleep again," he warns. Because that might obliterate his defense against Momoshiro completely, and he'd welcome Momoshiro with open arms. And that's not right.

Kaidoh pushes his fist into Momoshiro's chest, hopefully this will make him turn back to normal. Maybe his fuzzy feelings will stop. "Dumbass," he says.

Momoshiro starts to wriggle under his body, and Kaidoh clamps his mouth shut. "Okay, I get it—you wanted some too, fine, here you go, I'm sorry for forgetting you," he says.

Wait what?

Kaidoh flinches back with a shriek as he feels Momoshiro's hand reach for his shorts and try to grope him. "W-what are you doing!?" he asks in an utterly frantic voice.

No—he can't! If Momoshiro … if Momoshiro …! No, he can't touch him right now. That's _dangerous_ Kaidoh needs some time alone away from this idiot to clear his thoughts and try to find a way to get rid of this disgusting desire to rub himself all over Momoshiro and make him shut up by covering his mouth with his.

Kaidoh's eyes grow large. His thoughts are getting weirder! Did he seriously just think about kissing this stupid foul mouthed idiot whose hand seems to be stroking Kaidoh through his shorts!?

"Ah," Kaidoh chokes out, frazzled at the sudden contact, and the weird thoughts messing him up. "What are you …" he says again, but this time, his bite has disappeared. He's tired of holding back, Kaidoh can't seem to anymore, as his body wants to do nothing more than to surrender to these sensations, and to focus on the warmth that's spreading around inside of him as Momoshiro's hand gets stronger and more dominant.

"What's it looks like? Here, I'll do you as an apology for falling asleep last time."

Kaidoh starts to blush until his ears are red too, and it's making his heart thump painfully hard against his chest. Momoshiro is just too dimwitted. He can't even figure out why Kaidoh's so flustered, and why he avoided him for a week. He thinks Kaidoh's mad because … Momoshiro didn't jerk him off because he fell asleep?

Hah, if only that were actually the truth. Then Kaidoh could deal with it. Then he'd be angry at Momoshiro, punch him in the face, and then get on with his life.

But that's not why Kaidoh's so … that's not why he feels drained, like Momoshiro is sapping the energy out of him. He slumps forwards—his knees finally breaking down—and leans against Momoshiro for support, their heads knocking together slightly. He knows he shouldn't. He knows Momoshiro will push him away and call him gross, but right now? Kaidoh's iron will and well trained discipline has disappeared, all because Momoshiro's here with him, touching him, talking to him.

Momoshiro is such an idiot. He's stupid. A moron. Oblivious. And yet Kaidoh wants nothing more than to be with him just like this.

"Do you want me to hold you up or something? You seem kind of weak," says Momoshiro in a tone that sounds like he's talking about the weather. He chuckles lightly. "Or do you really feel that good I'm making you weak to your knees?"

"D-don't say things like that so shamelessly," Kaidoh sputters. But his cheeks are red, and his breath is going haywire. Yes. Momoshiro is making him feel weak to his knees. Momoshiro is making him feel good. But not for the reasons he thinks. And while Momoshiro's hand on the growing bulge in his shorts does feel like a relief he hasn't experienced in a while, Kaidoh's most overwhelmed by the fact that their bodies are touching everywhere. He can feel Momoshiro's muscles contract and relax as he moves his hand up and down. He can feel his breath hit his cheeks like an annoying heatwave. Except it's not annoying. It's intoxicating. Kaidoh closes his eyes and parts his lips to take in bigger breaths.

Yeah. Momoshiro makes him feel good.

And right now, even after he tried so hard to run away from it, Kaidoh gives up on fighting it. What's the point anyway; it would keep on nagging him until he gave in either way. Might as well do it now, when Momoshiro seems intent on touching him all on his own accord, and he isn't pushing Kaidoh away this time, and Kaidoh won't let that chance slip away.

And being this close again, with Momoshiro's chest at his fingertips, Kaidoh's once more losing the battle against his stupid mushy feelings—his control is steadily slipping, and his heart is beating in a way that tells Kaidoh this is what he wants. This is what he's been wanting for the entire week; Momoshiro.

Just. Momoshiro.

"Fine, I'll shut up. Enjoy," says Momoshiro, whose voice is ringing right through Kaidoh's ears. He's super close. Momoshiro's hand suddenly slips inside of his boxers, and makes contact with his already hard penis and Kaidoh visibly shudders at the connection.

Enjoy … Kaidoh's allowed to enjoy this? He knows what Momoshiro is thinking, that Kaidoh just wants to get off, but that's not it … that's not what it is this time. It's different this time. It's not arousal, it's something ... else. It's a desire. A desire to want to be close to Momoshiro, and after a week of denial and avoidance, Kaidoh finally gives into that notion.

He can't resist the idiot for too long, not when Momoshiro's hand is tempting him, and Kaidoh can feel Momoshiro's breath on his cheeks. His entire body shakes with a thrumming sensation when Momoshiro's pace picks up, making longer and faster strokes. The combination of the sexual pleasure and his desire to have Momoshiro close to him, is enough to make Kaidoh forget about any kind of rule Momoshiro might have had before. So he leans against Momoshiro, completely taken over by this foreign need to be closer, and rests his chin on Momoshiro's shoulder, where he can smell his sweat, and for once, Kaidoh isn't complaining about the stench. Instead, it's a bit comforting, like knowing that this is Momoshiro who is with him, and no one else.

Kaidoh fans out his fingers against Momoshiro's chest, liking the way he can feel his heartbeat thump against the tips of his fingers. It's going fast, too. He wonders if Momoshiro realizes how fast his is going, he could probably break some kind of record with it, it's insane how fast it is. Almost painful. But there's nothing painful about the way he's molding into Momoshiro's body like it's all he ever wanted, like he's allowed to. And for once, Momoshiro isn't pushing him away. He's not even calling him gross. No he's … allowing Kaidoh to do as he pleases, and that is enough for Kaidoh to shut down all his thinking, all of his fears and anxiety, and just enjoy the proximity and the fumbling down his pants.

When Momoshiro's head moves a bit, Kaidoh turns his as well, resting his cheek against Momoshiro's neck, and breathing down on him like he's short on oxygen. There's not enough oxygen in this room, not when they're doing this, not when Kaidoh feels like he's on fire, and Momoshiro is fueling his flames.

Like he's tumbling down a hill, Kaidoh becomes increasingly more excited at Momoshiro's hand stroking him. Touching him in ways that's never felt _this_ good before. Maybe it's because it's been a week since Kaidoh's last felt him like this. Or maybe it's because his other fluttery feelings are making everything feel extra good. Or maybe it's because Momoshiro is allowed him to use his body as support, to touch without any repercussions. Or maybe it's a combination of all three; and it feels amazing. Kaidoh can't even help it when he starts whining out small gasps against Momoshiro's neck, unable to breathe normally at all anymore.

Kaidoh's unable to control anything at the moment, he lets himself go whether he wants to or not. And that means letting Momoshiro see this embarrassing side of him. That side where he's under Momoshiro's complete control, where he's almost begging for Momoshiro to continue. He claws at Momoshiro's arm with his other hand, and without intending to, rubs his hips closer to Momoshiro's hand, and in turn, also Momoshiro's hips.

The slick noises of Momoshiro's hand sliding over his sticky penis should be embarrassing Kaidoh—as well as the noises that Momoshiro seems to be drawing out of him—but it's not. Instead Kaidoh just feels good, overwhelmed really.

It's the only thing on his mind right now, and it's the only thing keeping him standing up. Or maybe that's Momoshiro. But right now, Momoshiro really is the only thing on his mind at the moment. Kaidoh feels swept away by him, like this big ocean wave, and now he's drowning, soaking into his scent, his body—everything.

Kaidoh's breathing gets harsher, his voice gets louder, and he squeezes his eyes tight to prevent himself from outright pressing his lips against Momoshiro's neck. It's the last shred of control he still has; to hold himself back from doing something so momentarily stupid, he's sure Momoshiro wouldn't ever forgive him for it. Even if he really wants to do it, and his lips are throbbing, and his heart is pounding like his feet hitting the pavement when he runs. Except this is better than running. He might not ever say it out loud, but he'll take this any day over running, to be with Momoshiro, to do this, to touch him, to have him touch Kaidoh in return.

The room seems to be closing in on them, and Kaidoh feels like they're the only two people on earth like this. He continues to grind his hips into Momoshiro, and his hands are desperately holding onto him so he won't break down completely. As he does this, he can hear Momoshiro's ragged breathing against his ear, it's making his ear feel scalding hot, as if being grazed by hot steam. Momoshiro sounds just as frazzled as well, like he has no control over this either. It makes Kaidoh feel even better; Momoshiro is feeling the same way. He's overwhelmed too. Maybe.

It's enough to send Kaidoh's hormones into overdrive, and he drives his body into Momoshiro's as he groans out loud in pleasure. Suddenly he feels Momoshiro's body shake, and even his voice is shaky as he grunts out something unintelligible. Kaidoh doesn't have time to figure out what he said, as Momoshiro pinches the tip of his penis, and that's it for Kaidoh.

Breath is knocked out of him as his orgasm fills up his entire body. Kaidoh chokes out for oxygen, and his eyes are open, staring into the dark, unfocused. He feels himself emptying right into Momoshiro's hand, and everything else gets dirty and sticky down there, but he doesn't care, his need to be clean all the time suddenly forgotten. Kaidoh feels fucking fantastic, and his entire body agrees. It unwinds, like he's just gotten rid of a very tight knot in the muscles of his shoulders, and he leans his head on Momoshiro's neck, which is sweaty and warm, and he can feel Momoshiro's pulsepoint right there.

They're breathing as if they both had their fill, it's almost like they're having a conversation with their breaths. And that's when Kaidoh vaguely realizes that Momoshiro … well, he apparently came too. Kaidoh didn't even do anything. Yet for some reason, that makes him smile a little, like this is proof of how much Momoshiro liked it. And if Momoshiro liked it, despite Kaidoh breaking one of their rules, then it's okay. Everything's okay.

Kaidoh sighs contently.

Alas, this blissful state where Kaidoh was allowed to touch Momoshiro as much as he wanted doesn't last much longer. Because Momoshiro suddenly shoves him away.

"G-get off, you're too sticky," he grumbles at him.

Kaidoh feels his control returning to him, and he glares at Momoshiro's silhouette, blaming him for everything that happened right now. Like he broke this magical moment where Kaidoh could pretend he was living in a fantasy. A fantasy where everything was okay, and he could touch Momoshiro and not get pushed away for it.. He hisses and turns away from Momoshiro, embarrassed to even be in front of him right now, after he displayed so much raw emotion.

He's just lucky the room was dark, because otherwise, Momoshiro would have seen it on Kaidoh's face as clear as day.

That Kaidoh … to Momoshiro … that maybe he …

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh tries not to think about it.

Not that it helps. He thinks about it all the time.

When he's running, when he's in class, when he's studying, when he's sleeping, and yes, even when they're doing it. It's always on his mind. These leftover feelings he's been stuck with ever since that day, they've been gnawing at him, eating away at him until he's once more confronted by it. It's impossible to ignore, especially when Momoshiro seems to have gotten even hornier. Perhaps it's to make up for lost time, so he just humps Kaidoh like a bunny that has no real aim. It's how Momoshiro always acts; without a real purpose or reason behind his actions. He simply does it, reasons be damned.

This would have been fine, had Kaidoh felt the same way. That he was humping Momoshiro as well just because he had this hormonal urge to satisfy, and that was it. Then he'd been on the same playing field as Momoshiro, that it didn't mean anything, that it was just … two guys jerking each other off. He knows that's how Momoshiro sees it—because he was the one to come up with those rules in the first place—but unfortunately, that's not how it is for Kaidoh anymore.

To him, doing this with Momoshiro, isn't just because he wants someone to touch his dick. In fact, Kaidoh would have been horrified had he ever even thought about someone else touching him in that place just a few months ago. But now, when he's been doing it so much, Kaidoh knows it's not because of that reason. It can't be anyone else but Momoshiro. It _has_ to be Momoshiro. Only Momoshiro is the one that Kaidoh would ever even allow to come near him in the first place, much less touch him in the most private of places.

Why?

Well. Kaidoh doesn't know why.

Which is why he thinks about it all the time.

He tries to suppress these weird urges and feelings when it comes to Momoshiro, because even Kaidoh, who is rather inexperienced himself, knows that this is not what Momoshiro had in mind when he proposed the idea in the first place. That this is not 'normal'. And clearly, Momoshiro doesn't feel the same way at all. So he can't ever let Momoshiro find out, even though Kaidoh always feels like it's stamped on his forehead, like this big bright message that could be read as clear as day. Fortunately, Momoshiro is as dense as always, and they never look each other in the eye when they do it anyway.

Good. Kaidoh would fear his secrets would be found out if Momoshiro did look at him. Kaidoh can't resist his iron stare; it makes him feel weak in the knees. It also pisses Kaidoh off because he doesn't like the reactions Momoshiro causes, like somehow this makes Momoshiro have all the cards, and Kaidoh is helpless and can't do anything about it. He really can't do anything about it, and it's frustrating.

Especially since Momoshiro won't leave him alone.

Kaidoh is torn on whether he should be happy of angry about this fact. His stupid mushy urges want him to stick to Momoshiro like glue, but the better part of his brain tells him this is stupid, and he is stupid, and Momoshiro is stupid too, so why the fuck is he feeling like this?

Then again, Kaidoh is unable to resist Momoshiro's advances. Momoshiro has him at his beck and call, literally.

All Momoshiro has to do is beckon at him as he runs around on campus, and then—instead of doing it in the privacy of their own room—they start dry humping each other behind the tennis clubhouse.

It's mortifying, it's completely shameful, and yet Kaidoh will happily run over and do it.

Sometimes, Kaidoh just punches himself in the face, and hopes that will knock out all of his stupid feelings. It doesn't work, of course, and he's left with a swollen cheek and Momoshiro just has one more reason to make fun of his puffer fish face.

Kaidoh doesn't understand why Momoshiro suddenly can't keep it in his pants and _has_ to do it as soon as he sees Kaidoh, even if that means they have to do it outside where they can be caught, but he's not really complaining. Or well, he is, but not out loud. Kaidoh simply goes along with it, since he craves it, too. Craves the closeness of Momoshiro's body.

Every time they do it, Kaidoh is unable to resist the urge to touch Momoshiro again, and he keeps pushing his boundaries more and more. Something good came out of that day, because Momoshiro lets Kaidoh get away with a whole lot more this time.

One of his greatest fears, being pushed away and get called gross, hasn't happened yet.

Instead, Kaidoh is able to rest his hand on top of Momoshiro's shoulder. He doesn't have enough courage to touch Momoshiro anywhere else yet with his hand, besides the obvious, so he keeps it there. He uses the excuse that it's for support and it stabilizes them as they frantically move their other hands up and down. And when they're outside, well Kaidoh goes a little trigger happy. Because they have to be discreet and hide away from public view, they sort of press up against one another against the wall. It makes Kaidoh's mind all hazy and even if they don't always finish up (they usually only have about two to three minutes until Kaidoh has to return to his club), being able to touch Momoshiro's body like this is enough to satisfy him.

That, and Momoshiro makes sure to finish them off at night—obviously he's not satisfied.

Kaidoh's too much of a wuss to get that close to Momoshiro when they're alone in their room. That still seems off limits, despite him pushing said limits.

So when they're out there, Kaidoh simply buries his head into Momoshiro's shoulder and breathes in his scent. It relaxes him and yet at the same time, rejuvenates him with so much energy that he doesn't know what to do with it. So he just uses it to grind his hips into Momoshiro's, since he seems to like that part of this arrangement. Kaidoh prays every day that Momoshiro won't notice what he's doing when they do this. That he's secretly brushing his lips up against his collarbone, dying to kiss his skin for real, or how his fingers are digging hard into Momoshiro's chest and arms, or how he keeps inhaling Momoshiro's scent from the spikes that fall on the back of his neck.

It's gross. Super gross, and Kaidoh feels dirty for doing it. But he does it anyway.

It's a conflict that Kaidoh doesn't quite know how to deal with. He knows he's not supposed to do this, much less want it, and yet his body feels so good when he gives into the cravings. Momoshiro's body moving against him in that sweaty and unhinged matter probably feels even better than running. No, not probably—it really does.

And Kaidoh's hooked on this feeling.

But when they're apart, Kaidoh can reign in on these impulses, and look at the situation objectively. That is to say, he can analyze them, feel guilty about it, and then do it all over again like nothing's ever changed.

Then again, things did change, didn't they? They're doing it outside now … Kaidoh is allowed to touch some parts of Momoshiro … and Momoshiro seems more intent on doing it as often as possible.

Sometimes, they even do it twice a day. In the morning, that is.

****

**oOo**

"Wakey, wakey, snakey, snakey!" Something jabs at Kaidoh's chest, and he groans out loud, awakening from his sleep.

Kaidoh's eyes pop open, and he sees Momoshiro sitting on top of him, a big smile on his face, and pushing his hands into Kaidoh's chest. Completely overwhelmed by this sneak attack, Kaidoh doesn't know what else to do with this explosion of goose bumps appearing on his skin other than to punch the object of his affections, right on his left cheek.

"Yaah!" Momoshiro cries out in pain, but still manages to stay on top of Kaidoh. "What the hell Kaidoh!? What was that for! Is that your first reaction to everything!?" He pounds Kaidoh's chest with his fist in return.

Kaidoh hisses, hoping his blush on his cheeks isn't too noticeable. Maybe Momoshiro will mistake it for anger instead, and not because he's feeling giddy at waking up to find Momoshiro straddling him like this. "It is when the first thing I see is your face in the morning."

Momoshiro suddenly stops rubbing his cheek, and he curls his fingers into Kaidoh's tanktop. The places where their skin touches starts to warm up, like a heater in the middle of the winter. "What's that, Mamushi, are you saying you just want to punch my face!?"

"I always do." And Kaidoh wants to do more than to punch it. Way more. Things that would disgust Momoshiro, so he would never ever do it. Now if only Momoshiro would be so kind to get off of his body, because right now … it's kind of giving him morning wood here. And that's even more embarrassing.

"You know, tomorrow, I'll just wake you up by punching you in the face as well, how's that? It's only fair." Momoshiro loosens his grip on Kaidoh's top, and leans back with a smug face.

"How about you wake me up like a normal person?" Kaidoh growls back. It's not like he really hates waking up like this … there's something about Momoshiro's weight on top of him that drives him kind of nuts. No, he doesn't hate waking up like this.

"I did—but you didn't respond, so here I am." Momoshiro grins at him, a toothy one that makes Kaidoh feel even more heat spread across his cheeks. He looks so damn stupid with that grin, so carefree and happy, it's a look Kaidoh would never admit to liking out loud, but he secretly enjoys it. "You should be happy I woke you up, since it's almost time for class."

Kaidoh suddenly snaps out of his daze and he rushes to sit up straight, eyes widened and scanning for his alarm clock. It says 8:34. What the hell—he has his alarm set at 5 AM, why didn't it go off?

Momoshiro bashfully scratches his cheek. "I might have accidentally stumbled over the cord in the middle of the night when I went to go pee."

Then Kaidoh returns his gaze on Momoshiro, glaring this time. "Fucking asshole, you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I totally did it on purpose, all because I wanted to wake you up myself—that's totally what I wanted," Momoshiro says with an exaggerated tone. And even though Kaidoh knows he's being sarcastic, the thought that Momoshiro would want to wake Kaidoh up like this leaves his heart pounding pleasantly.

"Shut up, get off. I need to go to class," Kaidoh says instead, but he's not pushing Momoshiro away. It's kind of hard.

The erection in his shorts, that is, buried away underneath his blanket where Momoshiro can't see it, but Kaidoh can definitely feel it. Stupid hormones. Stupid Momoshiro.

"Hey, hey, where's my thank you? I woke you up when I could have just let you stay asleep!" Momoshiro says indignantly, like he's expecting some kind of reward.

Kaidoh bits his lips to prevent himself from saying anything stupid, like, thank you. Which he'll never do. "You were the one that made me late in the first place! How about getting an apology from you, huh?" he argues back.

Momoshiro rolls his eyes, then pokes Kaidoh's chest with his index finger. "Yeah well, before you leave, how about I make it up with this." And then, to show what he means, Momoshiro pushes himself forward to crush Kaidoh's hips with his own weight.

Kaidoh can feel even more blood rushing to his face now, especially since Momoshiro happened to rub right over his already hard penis, which is happy to finally get some attention. Traitor. "W-what—n-now?" Kaidoh chokes out, feeling flabbergasted. They've never done it right when he woke up …

"Shut up and lie down," Momoshiro says in a confident voice, before he pushes his hand against Kaidoh's chest to force him to lie back down against his pillow, and he does without putting up much of a fight.

So that was the day Momoshiro decided morning jerk-off routines are the best way to start the day. Kaidoh can't say he has anything to complain about, since Momoshiro wakes him up just like this most of the time since that time.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh can't stop blushing.

Nor can he stop his imagination from taking its course either. Normally, his fantasies would be more subdued, where he'd secretly fantasize about embracing Momoshiro, or being embraced by him from behind. Sometimes he even allows him to imagine kissing Momoshiro's cheek. Right after having such a fantasy play in his head, Kaidoh would smother his face into a pillow, wash his hands and run more laps around campus to get himself to stop feeling dirty. But now? Now that Momoshiro said _that_ out loud? It pops up in his head without even trying.

And it's making the tips of his ear red as well. It's nasty, disgusting—that's not what mouths are meant for! And yet, somehow, Kaidoh can imagine pushing Momoshiro up against a wall, and then start to run his hands down his chest, till it reaches the front of his shorts, and he pulls it down. And Kaidoh bends through his knees, coming face to face with …

Kaidoh shakes his cherry red head. No. He can't think about that. That's even more disgusting than what they usually do!

Stupid Momoshiro for even saying something like that. Why did he have to say that in the first place? Does he really want to … ? Does he want Kaidoh to … ?

Kaidoh hisses in frustration, then tries to stop his imagination from going too far by lifting up some dumbbells in his room. Except it doesn't work, as he remembers the way Momoshiro sounded like when he asked Kaidoh to do it, in such a really low voice, almost kind of … Kaidoh shakes his head again. He needs to take a shower, he feels completely dirty.

When he comes back, still damp from his attempt to cleanse himself of these evil thoughts and fantasies, Momoshiro is already sitting on his bed again. He greets him with a very annoyed look on his face.

"You didn't have to hit me in the balls, you know," says Momoshiro. He looks pissed.

Yes, yes he did have to hit Momoshiro there. What other reaction would have been more appropriate when being confronted with 'I want you to suck me off'? "Shut up you dumbass. Don't ask me weird questions, and I won't have to hit you for it," Kaidoh says. He sits down on the desk chair, trying to cover up his face with the towel around his neck, hoping Momoshiro can't see how embarrassed he is. And why is Momoshiro completely fine?

Oh wait, right. Kaidoh remembers why.

Stupid idiot, always so shameless. It's because Momoshiro's already had experience that he can be so cool and calm and collected about this, Kaidoh thinks bitterly. Sometimes, Kaidoh forgets that Momoshiro has had a girlfriend before, one whom he had sex with, but then he remembers it again and gets inexplicably angry and annoyed at Momoshiro. It grosses him out, to think that Momoshiro's done stuff like that with someone else.

Not that what they're doing is any less gross, but Kaidoh can cope with it when it's him.

Momoshiro rolls his eyes. "It's not that weird," he says defensively.

 _Probably only for you._ Kaidoh scoffs at him. "You're right. It was disgusting. So how about you shut up and leave me alone." Then maybe he can forget again that Momoshiro has done something like this already. Why bother Kaidoh about this? Can't he go to some other girl and ask _her?_

"What, you're not even going to tell me what's so disgusting about it? It's not any different than using our hands, you know."

Kaidoh's nostrils flare up. "We use our mouths to eat, Momoshiro. And in your case, you also use it so say incredibly dumb stuff every single time it opens." He is NOT going to do it! No way in hell. Kaidoh won't even let himself admit that he was fantasizing about it just moments ago, much less agree to do it for real. Momoshiro can suck it.

Metaphorically … of course.

"What the—I don't say stupid shit at all!" Angry at the accusation, Momoshiro marches up towards Kaidoh and tries to shove him off the chair.

Kaidoh catches his wrist and uses it to prevent himself from falling off. He hisses at Momoshiro. "Yes you do!"

Momoshiro yanks his wrist back. "No I don't, asshole!" He pushes at Kaidoh's chest again. Obviously Kaidoh has to put Momoshiro in his place, by forcefully pushing Momoshiro down on his bed to get him to knock it off. Momoshiro grumbles something, and with an annoyed huff, he looks up at Kaidoh. "I'll suck you off, too," he says in this weird squeamish voice, like it disgusts him to even think about that.

"Do I look like I want you too!?" Kaidoh yells, hoping the anger in his voice masks the embarrassment in it. He tries to get his mind to calm down, to not think about Momoshiro's offer, to not think about him _at all_ , but it's hard when Momoshiro's sitting there, looking all pouty and irritated, and telling Kaidoh he'll suck him off too.

"What, are you actually going to say no to my offer to do it in return?" Kaidoh is too stunned to even reply to that at all, he needs some time to process all of this. "That's what I thought."

No—he can't do it. Just because Momoshiro is fine with it, because he's done it before already, doesn't mean Kaidoh should be forced into it too. So Kaidoh grunts out loud and glares at Momoshiro, prepared to reject the offer completely.

"I'm not going to touch that disgusting thing with my mouth. No way in hell. You probably haven't even showered, and you're probably full of those STD things or something," says Kaidoh and he crosses his arms over his chest, as if this protects him from Momoshiro's advances.

Momoshiro's mouth drops open. "STD!? What the hell Kaidoh—where'd you get that idea?" Kaidoh looks at him pointedly; that idiot had once thought condoms were candy wrappers. No way in hell would he have ever used them to protect himself.

"I don't!" Momoshiro cries out defensively. "I've never even had sex with anyone—how would I get an STD you jerk!?"

Now it's Kaidoh's turn to have his mouth drop open, clearly dumbfounded at the moment. Momoshiro's never had sex with anyone? What? "You haven't?" Kaidoh asks, the confusion on his face clearly written. Something fluttery and hopeful brews up inside of Kaidoh's stomach. But he squashes it like a bug; Momoshiro had told him this himself, obviously he's just a lying piece of shit either way. "Liar—you told me yourself in the beginning of the school year," says Kaidoh.

He sees Momoshiro squirm on his bed, his face pulling a hundred different expressions ranging from distress, to confusion, to embarrassment, to guilt. Eventually Momoshiro averts his eyes to the hands in his lap, and starts to talk. "I lied—okay? I lied," Momoshiro admits. Kaidoh notices how his cheeks are getting redder, and that makes that hopeful tugging in his stomach return. Is it true? "When I saw you were accepted into that stupid club of yours straight away, I felt like I needed to brag about something too ... or whatever. I just couldn't let you beat me. I just had to say something. Eternal rivalry and all that shit, you know?"

Kaidoh takes a few seconds to reflect on that. Momoshiro lied about having sex because … he wanted to one-up Kaidoh? So he … "You wanted to beat me in being … promiscuous?"

"That's not what I implied!" Momoshiro immediately dejects.

So then what? Momoshiro said it on impulse, so that he could be better than Kaidoh, because it was obvious to everyone that Kaidoh had never done such a thing before in his life. Kaidoh narrows his eyes at Momoshiro, wondering what the hell made him say and do those things.

"Then you came up with that disgusting idea for us. That's certainly promiscuous," Kaidoh observes.

"Shut up! It's not like I planned to do that!" Momoshiro huffs, his entire face now red. "I just ... couldn't let anyone know. We're in college, you look like a complete loser if you haven't had sex yet."

"Are you saying I'm a loser?" Kaidoh growls.

"Well that much was clear," Momoshiro says with a snort. He quickly shields his head with his arms when he sees Kaidoh raise a fist at him. "I'm sorry, okay! Geez, you don't have to act like it's such a big deal. It doesn't change anything."

Yes it does. It changes everything.

Kaidoh slowly lowers his fist as it starts to dawn on him how much Momoshiro had lied about, how many things weren't true. What else isn't true? What else did he lie about? Perhaps he's even lying about things right now. But judging by how red his face is, Kaidoh is pretty sure Momoshiro wouldn't willingly humiliate himself like this, so perhaps that part of the story is true. Momoshiro has never had sex before. Which also means that just like Kaidoh, this is his first experience in anything sexual, and that makes him feel like they're even on the playing field. Like Kaidoh isn't desperately catching up to Momoshiro, but instead they're fumbling their way through it together.

A tiny and hopeful buoyant feeling wells up in Kaidoh's chest, knowing that only he has touched Momoshiro like this.

Suddenly, their disgusting act doesn't look so disgusting anymore.

"So you didn't?" Kaidoh finds himself asking, just to check for sure.

Momoshiro shakes his head. "I didn't."

"You didn't," Kaidoh echoes.

"That's what I said."

Kaidoh slams his fist down on top of Momoshiro's head. "Moron. Don't lie about stupid stuff. What are you, five?" Kaidoh almost feels relieved. Momoshiro's only done things like this with Kaidoh alone, and somehow, knowing that, feels nice. It's only him and Momoshiro.

Momoshiro tries to get back at Kaidoh by pulling him close using his shirt, but doesn't have much strength in his arms when he's merely sitting on his bed, and thus Kaidoh stays put, looking amused. "Shut up, it doesn't matter. Now you know. So no, you idiot, I don't have any STDs, that's fucking stupid."

Kaidoh slaps Momoshiro's hands away from his shirt with a huff. "Congratulations, you're disease free. Too bad you can't also cure idiocy." Actually, Kaidoh doesn't mind Momoshiro's stupidity at all right now.

"Why you!"

The air is knocked out of Kaidoh as Momoshiro yanks him down on the bed with him, and suddenly he's smothering Momoshiro underneath him. Kaidoh lifts his head up from Momoshiro's head, his palms sinking into the mattress as he keeps himself upright. He's ready to yell at Momoshiro and continue the fight, but this time he feels breathless and he hasn't even been punched yet. Momoshiro is looking up at him, just _staring_ right into his eyes. Couple that with the warm hands that are still holding onto Kaidoh's tank top—which he'd used as leverage to pull Kaidoh down with him—Kaidoh can't help but feel frozen with fire.

Which is a complete contradiction, but it's how he feels. Helpless, while being burned alive. That is to say, Kaidoh's feeling fuzzy and warm and good but also scared and nervous. Especially since Momoshiro isn't moving, or saying anything, simply opting to stare right back at Kaidoh. Why isn't he pushing him away? Why isn't he saying anything? Usually Kaidoh can't shut the idiot up, despite several attempts at closing his mouth, so why is Momoshiro lying beneath him like this, completely still and quiet, looking up into his eyes without any care of the complications in the least?

It's giving him goosebumps.

A droplet of water from his still damp hair trickles down until it splashes onto Momoshiro's forehead. Kaidoh watches it in trance, like suddenly he's under a spell, and everything seems magical and sparkly. Sparkly, because Momoshiro's eyes are reflecting the moonlight, and Kaidoh is unable to look away. He's also unable to breathe again, as he feels like his heart has stopped beating in this quiet night. He's afraid he'll move or do something that gives away all of what he's feeling, and all of the things he's trying to hide from Momoshiro. But it's really hard to hide everything when Momoshiro is _so close_ , and for once he isn't shoving Kaidoh away, or yelling insults at him, or doing anything much of all.

He's just there. Staring at Kaidoh, like he's the only thing that matters right now. It's kind of overwhelming. It's kind of really overwhelming.

Momoshiro's fingers unfurl and releases the fabric, keeping his hand pressed against Kaidoh's chest lightly. Kaidoh can feel his heart thump against it wildly, and now he's afraid Momoshiro can tell that he's the one that's making it beat so fast.

Any moment now, Momoshiro will fling Kaidoh off of him for being gross.

It doesn't happen.

Perhaps … Momoshiro doesn't mind. Kaidoh's imagination suddenly starts acting up when Momoshiro is this close and not moving away. It's messing up his perception of reality, that it almost seems like a dream to him. Maybe it is a dream, maybe it's one of his fantasies where Momoshiro isn't grossed out by Kaidoh touching him, by Kaidoh being on top of him and pushing him down onto a bed.

Momoshiro blinks up to Kaidoh, and his stare is so strong and stubborn that Kaidoh feels like he's being stared down, like some sort of challenge. It makes Kaidoh think Momoshiro is waiting for him to do something … but what?

One last drop of water falls down Kaidoh's hair, and splashes on top of Momoshiro's lips. His eyes flicker down to witness it, and sees the Momoshiro's shiny lips reflecting at him. Kaidoh can feel his heart fluttering like crazy in his neck, like it's trying to escape it's beating so fast. He parts his own lips, suddenly transfixed on Momoshiro's lips, and he stills for a moment, unsure of what to do next, or if he even had a plan in the first place. But he doesn't—Kaidoh never has a plan when it comes to Momoshiro, he's always running on instinct. And that instinct is screaming at him to lean down and …

Kaidoh takes in a shaky breath, he can feel his resolve thump in his fingertips. He can feel it growing bigger where Momoshiro's hand is touching him. Momoshiro takes a breath as well, and they're staring at each other once more, somehow both knowing that something is going to happen, like they're preparing themselves for it. Bracing themselves, really. Momoshiro's eyes are unwavering and so determined, like he doesn't want Kaidoh to break eye contact, and he doesn't. It's making Kaidoh melt in a puddle when he looks at him like that, like he's the only person in the world that matters. Like he wants Kaidoh to be there, like he's waiting for him to do something.

When Momoshiro's fingers fan out against his chest, like he's encouraging him, Kaidoh flutters his eyes closed and he leans down into his touch.

But before Kaidoh can reach all the way down, he realizes what he's doing and he hastily yanks himself back, throwing himself off of Momoshiro for once and for all. He stumbles away from the bed, and feels adrenaline rush through him like he's just won the nationals all over again.

Kaidoh's cheeks burn with a dark red blush as he keeps his back turned towards Momoshiro.

It's clear as day to him now what he just attempted to do.

Kaidoh had just tried to kiss Momoshiro Takeshi, his former teammate, his rival and currently his roommate.

And that is utterly forbidden.

"I'm not doing it," Kaidoh says with a trembling voice.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh might not be doing it, but that event had triggered something inside of him. Now he's hyper aware of it. Of what he tried to do, and what he actually still kind of wants to do.

It's an impulse and urge that Kaidoh has never been faced with. Sure, hormones as a teenager have led him to the discovery of masturbation—something which he will forever deny—but he's never had _this_ before. He could even understand the need to touch Momoshiro and be close to him. It's like an extension of always fighting with each other and having lots of physical contact.

But outright smashing lips together?

Insane.

Definitely insane.

Not to mention disgusting. Though that description is almost becoming synonymous with Momoshiro's name nowadays. Kaidoh doesn't know what went wrong for him to be thinking of this, why he feels compelled to do it. Not only that, he _did_ almost do it that day, had almost leaned down and planted his lips right on top of Momoshiro's.

Kaidoh prevents himself from going utterly crazy by pretending that Momoshiro was just asking for it, coaxing Kaidoh to do it by staying so still beneath him and giving him googly eyes. It's like he wanted him to.

It's a thought that makes Kaidoh's skin feel prickly and warm, and his heart pounds hopefully.

To be fair, it really did look like Momoshiro wanted him to that time, or at least, he was most definitely waiting for Kaidoh to do something. What that something is … Kaidoh isn't quite sure, but he's not going to try and find out. Not anymore, that kind of thinking leads to dangerous things.

Unfortunately, he cannot escape his dreams. He's had about three dreams now, all involving Momoshiro. It usually starts with Momoshiro crawling on top of Kaidoh, and fondling him through his pants. Then he leans down to kiss Kaidoh, and it feels like heaven. Kaidoh wakes up feeling confused, embarrassed, and aroused—which is not really a good idea when Momoshiro is right across the room, and he has gotten into the habit of pouncing on Kaidoh in the morning if he's not out running.

So to escape this whirlwind of feeling and desires, Kaidoh doubles his training schedule. He hopes that by distracting himself, he won't have time to think about this anymore. Even if that does mean he barely gets to see Momoshiro again.

They still do it though, maybe once every two days, but it's fast and without finesse. It's just to get off, and that's it. It's all Kaidoh allows himself to feel for now, he thinks that if they slow down, he'll start to want to kiss Momoshiro again, and he's got to keep that urge under control. He could _never_ kiss Momoshiro. Never.

"Are you training for the world cup or something?" Momoshiro asks. He's in a sullen mood, has been the entire day because Kaidoh kept dodging his attempts to fondle him, using the excuse that he had to go to practice.

"I'm just training," Kaidoh replies with a hiss. He had hoped Momoshiro was too stupid and dense to not notice it, but apparently if he's not getting off, then suddenly he's keenly aware of Kaidoh's schedule.

"That's just stupid! I barely even get to see yo—I mean, we barely get to do it like this. It's annoying." Momoshiro shakes his head.

Kaidoh blinks at him, aware how Momoshiro had just complained about not seeing Kaidoh enough. And even though he didn't mean he misses Kaidoh—simply misses the handjobs—it still makes Kaidoh gulp and feel a shiver run down his spine. "But we just did it, pervert," Kaidoh says instead to mask his shyness.

"Yeah, so, you're still training a lot," Momoshiro says with a shrug. "Freak." Kaidoh growls at him. "Speaking of training with an actual goal—you'll come, right?"

"Huh?"

"To my match."

Oh right, Momoshiro did say something like that … but it's not like Kaidoh can pay much attention to what Momoshiro is blabbering about when he's highly aroused and Momoshiro's hand is jerking him off. That idiot doesn't know when to shut up; when they're doing _that_ , it's the worst possible time to have a conversation. Yet Momoshiro still attempts to do it every single time.

"Uhh," Kaidoh stammers. He wants to come, to see Momoshiro play. In fact, he will come. He'll free up some time from his hectic schedule to see it. "Only if I'm not training," Kaidoh quickly says, to not seem eager, like he actually wants to.

Momoshiro gives him this indignant look. "What, my match isn't important enough to skip some of your stupid training? Asshole."

Kaidoh growls at him. "It's not stupid— _you're_ stupid." If there's one thing Kaidoh won't tolerate, it's Momoshiro's excessive remarks at his running, always insulting it, always calling it stupid, always calling him a freak, it's annoying. It's agitating.

"Yeah well, you're stupider!" Momoshiro flings back.

"At least I don't have stupid hair!" is Kaidoh's lame comeback.

Even Momoshiro thinks it's lame and scoffs at the insult. "You think I'd look better with no spiked up hair then?" he asks in a rather normal tone.

It catches Kaidoh off guard, and he's once more reduced to outright blinking and stammering. "Uhh." What the hell does he say to _that?_

Momoshiro leans back against the wall and runs his fingers through his hair. "I've had this hairstyle for years, maybe I should change it back to normal …"

Kaidoh can't imagine Momoshiro with normal hair, like himself. He's always seen the idiot with that spiked up hair full of greasy wax. Even when Momoshiro comes back from taking a shower, and his hair is still wet, it's already up. In fact, Kaidoh thinks he secretly mixes his hair gel with glue, because even when Momoshiro is suddenly doused in water, his hair stays up. It's almost like concrete. It's crazy and stupid.

And now Kaidoh can't stop imagining what Momoshiro would look like, his eyes half hidden by black locks of hair, leering at him with determined eyes …

Oh great, now he's fantasizing right in front of Momoshiro. How disgusting.

"You'd look stupid," Kaidoh says. Which is to say, Kaidoh's curious what Momoshiro would really look like.

"Fuck you, I'd look awesome. I always look awesome."

"Awesomely stupid."

"That's still a version of awesome—you can't take that back now!" Momoshiro grins at Kaidoh, and Kaidoh feels butterflies swarm in his stomach.

Then Momoshiro looks at him, his expression suddenly serious. Kaidoh stares right back at him, wondering what he's going to say. "So you'll come?"

Of course he'll come, idiot.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh is waiting at the exit, leaning against the wall, trying to be as nonchalant as possible as people start to crowd around him, trying to go home, but really he just feels out of place and awkward. He's waiting for Momoshiro, but won't admit to himself that he is, nor did he tell Momoshiro that he was coming in the first place. Besides, tennis players might leave through another exit reserved just for players, in which case he'll miss Momoshiro and Kaidoh will feel really stupid waiting for no one. Not that he's waiting for Momoshiro.

Kaidoh smiles to himself as he remembers Momoshiro's match. Momoshiro seemed so into it, having this serious look on his face and completely focused on what he was doing. Kaidoh missed seeing that look, one that Momoshiro used to reserve just for him. It makes him jealous of Momoshiro's opponent, as he got to play Momoshiro and Kaidoh still hasn't yet. But nonetheless, it was still worth it watching his match. Kaidoh couldn't take his eyes off of him. He's gotten so much better since middle school—even showing a bunch of new moves Kaidoh didn't recognize—no wonder he's gotten so cocky lately. But if Kaidoh's honest, he doesn't really hate it all that much when Momoshiro is being cocky. It just means that when Kaidoh beats him, he can gloat about it even more.

That is, if Kaidoh will ever play him again. And right now, he really wants to. In fact, he's regretting picking the track and field club once more, he's stuck with it now. The only way he can play Momoshiro is if Momoshiro himself would ask Kaidoh for a match (no way will Kaidoh ever ask first). It makes him feel a rush of adrenaline and excitement ricochets off his ribcage just at the simple prospect of playing him again. Kaidoh doesn't even care if he'll win or lose, he just wants to play Momoshiro, just like that one random guy he's never seen before in his life did today. That person was lucky, he probably doesn't even realize how good Momoshiro is, or how much fun it is playing against him.

Not that he'd ever say that out loud … in fact, he'd rather Momoshiro think that Kaidoh hates playing him, or thinks it's some kind of chore. Anything is better than seeming desperate to play him again. Or that he came to watch his match in the first place. Or that right now he's waiting for Momoshiro.

"You came."

Kaidoh's heart jumps up in his throat; he doesn't need to look to know Momoshiro is behind him. Kaidoh pushes himself off of the wall and turns to face him. Immediately he feels his stomach buzz with electricity, and he can't help but crack a slight smile. Then he realizes how stupid he probably looks like, and tries to play it off like he's grumpy and that he was just in the neighborhood so he wasn't _actually_ waiting for Momoshiro. He sticks his hands into his pockets and hisses.

"Well, you asked me too," he says with a huff, like that's the only reason he came; because Momoshiro asked. Wait, doesn't this look like Momoshiro can demand anything of Kaidoh and he'll do it? Shit, Kaidoh has to rethink this nonchalant method.

Momoshiro hops over to him, a grin plastered on his face so wide that Kaidoh thinks it might fall off his face. "Did you watch the whole thing?" he asks excitedly.

"Yeah," Kaidoh says. He was there early so that he wouldn't miss anything, even if Momoshiro's match wasn't until like two hours later. He slouches his shoulders and tires to not look at Momoshiro too much, he fears that he might try to smile again. Momoshiro's idiotic smile is contagious like that, and his good mood is infectious. It's hard for Kaidoh to keep acting grumpy and indifferent, and he surprises himself when he says, "You did good." He quickly tries to make his statement sound less enthusiastic by adding, "Or something." Then hisses.

Momoshiro squeals and hits Kaidoh's shoulder with his fist. "I did awesome, you mean," he says with that stupid grin again. He leans against the wall next to Kaidoh, and Kaidoh can't help but feel like his shoulder is burning up—especially after Momoshiro hit it, and is now brushing up against it. "I kicked his ass. They should crown me captain just because of that match."

Kaidoh snorts in amusement. "Keep dreaming." Yeah, Momoshiro as captain would probably not be a bad idea. After all, it was Kaidoh who was captain in middle school, so he's curious what would happen if Momoshiro was the one who led a tennis team. He smiles at the memories though; Momoshiro was a great vice captain. It never felt like Kaidoh was running the club alone, Momoshiro was always there for him.

Momoshiro pushes his shoulder into Kaidoh's, and it flares up with heat again. "Hey, I totally could be. Maybe in a year, since I'm such a prodigy in tennis."

"More like a flailing idiot," Kaidoh says, just to disagree and argue with him, even if Kaidoh secretly agrees with him.

"I resent that!" Momoshiro cries out and pouts at Kaidoh.

Kaidoh can't help the smile that creeps on his lips just then, it's hard to resist when Momoshiro's being so friendly with him, and Kaidoh's still feeling that rush after seeing him play, it's making everything seem fuzzy and feel nice. Being with Momoshiro like this feels nice. Momoshiro smiles back at him, and it makes Kaidoh's insides all gooey and warm. Today is a really good day, Kaidoh is glad he came.

"Too bad I play singles now," says Momoshiro, his smile faltering. Kaidoh says nothing. "I miss playing with you."

A rush of blood shoots up in Kaidoh's face and he immediately turns away from Momoshiro and after first making a weird throaty squeal, he stammers out, "A-asshole, don't say weird stuff like that." He can feel his heart racing at Momoshiro's simple statement. _He misses playing with Kaidoh?_ Kaidoh wants to turn around and tell him, _me too_. Kaidoh misses playing with Momoshiro too. But he's kind of petrified at the nonchalant way Momoshiro said it, so effortless like it's nothing. It still makes his heart go kind of crazy.

 _Momoshiro missed him_ , is all his brain can think about.

Then he snaps out of it and shakes his head. "I'm in the track and field club right now," he explains. Like it's some sort of burden he's stuck with, because honestly, Kaidoh wants to join the tennis club. He glances over at Momoshiro, feeling shy at what he's about to say, but gathers courage from Momoshiro's earlier words. "But uhm, that doesn't … that doesn't mean we can't play." He doesn't outright say he _wants_ to play, even though on the inside he's jumping at that chance.

"Really?" Momoshiro asks hopefully, and the look on his innocent and childish face makes Kaidoh's heart melt in a puddle.

But of course, he's Kaidoh Kaoru, meaning he has to hide his mushy and embarrassing feelings, so he grunts instead. "If I have time," he says dismissively, like he somehow needs to pretend he doesn't find it important to play against Momoshiro.

"Oh … like when?" Momoshiro asks.

"I don't know." Now? "When I don't have training." Kaidoh's available any day.

"But you _always_ have training!" Momoshiro complains in a whiny voice.

Kaidoh can feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment again; that's Kaidoh's own fault, isn't it? He tried to keep himself busy by expanding his training schedule so that he wouldn't even have any time to think about … about the fact that he really kind of wanted to … Kaidoh's eyes quickly peek at Momoshiro's lips, and then he hastily pretends to be staring at the ground instead. Yes, he tried to keep himself busy, so that he wouldn't have to think. Wouldn't have to feel.

And perhaps that was a bad decision, because Momoshiro is right _here_ , and for some reason, he said he missed playing with Kaidoh, and sounds like he wants to play him again. That golden chance Kaidoh has been waiting for since the start of college—it's right here! Yet, he has to let it slip through his fingers because he made a bad decision about adding more workload to his training schedule?

Kaidoh won't let that happen. "Summer vacation," he says.

"Huh?"

"We can play then." Kaidoh can't believe he managed to say that, because it felt like the hardest thing to do. As if this somehow gives Momoshiro an edge over him, like the ball is in his court and Momoshiro has the power to reject his idea, and then Kaidoh will feel stupid for even suggesting it. But the way Momoshiro whined and complained about Kaidoh not having any free time … maybe he won't reject the offer. Kaidoh feels anxious, but strangely hopeful.

"Oh right," Momoshiro says in a drawled out voice, like he hadn't thought about that before. "That's like next month, too." He then turns his head to look at Kaidoh. "But don't you have plans for summer vacation?"

Kaidoh suddenly feels shy and embarrassed, because no—he hasn't made any plans yet (unless running a lot counts as one), and he wonders if he _should_ have been making plans, so that he doesn't look all lame trying to make some with Momoshiro. "W-well, I am making them right now, dumbass," he mutters quickly.

Momoshiro smiles at him, and Kaidoh can feel his heart tug at him again. "Alright then, summer vacation it is!"

****

**oOo**

It's the last day before summer vacation, and it's really hot.

Kaidoh has gotten this silly idea into his head that somehow, the last day before they won't see each other for a while anymore, should be special. It makes his stomach crawl with nerves when he realizes he's setting aside some time from his training just to spend more time with Momoshiro, but he feels like he has to. Or well, he wants to more importantly.

Even if he won't ever admit that out loud.

But yeah, Kaidoh wishes to spend a bit more time with Momoshiro before they won't see each other for ten long days, until their appointed date, in which case he'll be playing a tennis match with Momoshiro. Obviously, he's really stoked about this, pumped really, but that's still ten days spend apart. And despite Kaidoh's insistent denial throughout the last couple of months, he has to admit that ten days seems like a long time, especially since he's been stuck with Momoshiro since day one. Especially now that Kaidoh feels this sugar rush gnaw at him whenever he sees Momoshiro smile at him. Or when he receives a text message from the idiot on his phone. Or when they … do that thing together. Kaidoh's really hoping they do that thing again tonight. He hopes Momoshiro won't be held back at the club, because he left his schedule wide open for the night, just so that they could … the thought is so embarrassing, Kaidoh refuses to think about it any further.

He's sitting at his desk, neatly arranging his pencils over and over again, feeling nervous and fidgety and kind of lame waiting for Momoshiro to come back—if he's coming at all, that is. When he hears the loud click from the door's lock echo through the room, Kaidoh's heart starts beating like a drum, and he immediately whirls around on his chair to face Momoshiro.

… Who seemed to be walking in half naked, wearing nothing but white training shorts and a towel (or is that his shirt?) slung across his shoulders. His skin looks sweaty and red, and Kaidoh feels awkward for staring, but he can't help it.

"Oh," says Momoshiro when he notices Kaidoh sitting there. "Didn't think you'd be here. Don't you have … you know, running or something?" He takes off his towel and flings it on the bed, then runs his hand through his sweaty hair. Kaidoh is a bit mesmerized, suddenly _he_ wants to run his fingers through Momoshiro's greasy and sweaty hair.

"Uhm, no, I'm uhh." Come on Kaidoh, come up with a good excuse. "Done. We cut training short today to prepare for uhh, the summer vacation." He wonders if it's obvious to Momoshiro how bad of a liar he is.

"I see, so even you guys cut yourselves some slack to relax, huh." Then again, Kaidoh shouldn't forget Momoshiro's an idiot most of the time, there's no way he can make an intelligent observation and see if Kaidoh's lying or not.

"Yeah … something like that." Kaidoh fidgets around on his chair. Momoshiro wearing such little clothing (he's gotten into the habit of not wearing a shirt lately because it's getting so hot) is distracting him, as he's suddenly imagining it in his head how his fingertips trail down Momoshiro's bare chest. "So uh, I'm … free for the rest of the night." Immediately, Kaidoh feels like the dumbest person on earth for saying that out loud, for implying to Momoshiro that he is 'free' to do 'anything'.

Kaidoh shifts his eyes up at Momoshiro, expectantly, but nervous.

"About time," Momoshiro says. "You spend way too much time running." Kaidoh wants to growl and interject saying that he probably doesn't run enough, because even with all the running he's been doing, his strange feelings for Momoshiro just continue to grow bigger. There's no escape from it. "You should spend more time with me," Momoshiro mumbles at the end before sitting down on his bed.

Kaidoh's ears perk up and his mind goes into overdrive. Did he hear that correctly? He didn't imagine it, right? "W-with … you?" he asks back in a very hesitant and disbelieving voice.

"Obviously." Kaidoh's face turns red and he can't help himself feeling this strange urge to giggle. Luckily he manages to squash that urge down and turn it into a odd sounding cough with phlegm instead. "I mean, our time is always cut short, it's giving me blue balls man." Aaaand Kaidoh's face turns to stone.

Of course. Momoshiro doesn't want to spend time with Kaidoh without the ulterior motive of getting a free handjob out of it. That's all it is to Momoshiro, and Kaidoh should really stop hoping for something else, like Momoshiro wants to spend time with him because … because … it's fun? Or something like that.

"Your stupid balls aren't my concern," Kaidoh says grumpily. Stupid Momoshiro, getting his hopes up.

Momoshiro gives him this disjointed look. "What …?" He then huffs. "No one said it was, dumbass." And before Kaidoh can reply, Momoshiro sits on the edge of his bed, and stares at Kaidoh for a second. "I just want to finish what we started, that's all," he says in this dead serious voice.

How come Momoshiro is always so shameless? How can he say those words and not turn utterly red from embarrassment? Kaidoh will never know. But he does know that _he_ is red from embarrassment right now. He clenches his hands into fists on top of his knees and gazes down at the floor, preparing himself for what he's about to say. "Okay," is what Kaidoh says.

Okay. He'll finish it.

It's not like Kaidoh had any other plans.

Momoshiro looks a bit taken aback, and raises his eyebrows at him, before he starts smirking at him. "That's more like it, Mamushi. Now get over here before I push you down."

It's not like Kaidoh has any objections to that either … there's always this rush he gets when Momoshiro climbs on top of him, and their sweaty bodies are sticking together, and Momoshiro is staring into his own eyes with this determined willpower, and he only has eyes for Kaidoh at the moment. It's always very intensive and overwhelming, and Kaidoh can't get enough of it. Regardless, he still shakily gets up from his chair, and takes the two small steps to reach Momoshiro's bed, standing right in front of him. He stands there looking awkward and out of place, because it feels like they planned to do this, and that's a lot scarier than doing it impulsively.

Because, as long as they're acting on impulse, then they can keep up with the pretense of it being meaningless. Except what they're doing right now is definitely not a spur of the moment kind of thing, but most definitely planned. After all, Kaidoh did take some time off from training to be with Momoshiro right now.

Did Momoshiro finish practice early to see Kaidoh, too?

"Always so damn slow," Momoshiro complains, before he grabs Kaidoh's shirt and without much effort (Kaidoh isn't resisting) yanks him down onto the bed with him. Kaidoh ends up trapping Momoshiro beneath his body before he's shoved aside, and then _Momoshiro_ is the one on top of him, looking all confident with his annoying little smirk.

Kaidoh feels like the breath got knocked right out of him, because he's unable to breath or move at all when he's under Momoshiro's intense gaze like this.

There's really only one thing going through Kaidoh's mind; Momoshiro is voluntarily touching him. And he's on top of him. And he's staring down at him with this wicked grin, that's actually kind of attractive. The urge to touch Momoshiro suddenly goes out of control, and Kaidoh's body is set to autopilot when his hand shoots out to grab hold of Momoshiro's arm, as if he's about to throw him off. But Kaidoh's not throwing him off, he's slowly trailing his fingers over Momoshiro's biceps, all the while not breaking eye contact. If Momoshiro keeps looking at him like this, then he'll find out about all of Kaidoh's emotions, which are exposed on his naked face, and that's kind of terrifying, yet exhilarating. He can feel the damp sweat left behind on Momoshiro's skin, and yet it doesn't gross Kaidoh out, not in the least. _Don't move away. Don't move away._

"What?" Momoshiro asks in this confident voice, blinking his eyes at Kaidoh, as if he's onto him.

"You're sweaty," Kaidoh says quickly. Like he has to give Momoshiro some kind of excuse why he's touching his arm like this, why he's even staring at him.

"Yeah, well, it's hot. What do you expect? I don't know how you can stand wearing that shirt still." Momoshiro pats his hand down on Kaidoh's stomach, and immediately he feels a hundred butterflies swarm in reaction to his touch. "You should take it off sometime." He drags his hand upwards and lifts some of Kaidoh's shirt so that it exposes some of his stomach.

Kaidoh digs his fingers into Momoshiro's arm, stumped at Momoshiro's words. "I'm … fine," he breathes out. What is Momoshiro saying? That he wants Kaidoh to remove his clothing? But _he's_ the one who came up with that rule, to stay clothed. Or maybe that was just for their pants, and not their shirts, seeing as Momoshiro's been plenty shirtless before during the last couple of weeks, and Kaidoh had a hard time not staring at him. Yeah, maybe shirts are okay. Kaidoh wouldn't mind, especially not when he thinks about pulling Momoshiro close so that their naked chests touch, and what kind of rush he'd get from it. And sitting below Momoshiro, with those eyes drilling into his soul, Kaidoh really wants to find out what it would feel like.

"Tough guy, eh?" Momoshiro taunts him, and this time bumps his fist against Kaidoh's chest, right where his heart is threatening to burst out into confetti.

Kaidoh hisses. "Shut up," he says, because talking always seems to throw him for a loop. He doesn't understand why Momoshiro likes to talk during times like this, a time where they're both about to do something very perverted. Talking just brings attention to it, and it makes Kaidoh feel even more gross. He hopes it's not super obvious that Kaidoh is liking the way Momoshiro touches him so nonchalant, so effortlessly, like this is how it's supposed to be. He tears his eyes away from Momoshiro, and decides to look at his damp hair instead.

"Even your stupid hair is sweaty," Kaidoh remarks. He wants to touch it.

"Well since you're so bothered by it, perhaps I should take a shower right now," Momoshiro says sarcastically.

"No," Kaidoh blurts out. Then his face turns red, and he turns it away from Momoshiro's scrutinizing gaze. "Whatever. I don't care." _Please stay._

"Good …" Momoshiro suddenly sinks through his elbows, leaning down until Kaidoh's shirt sticks to Momoshiro's sweaty chest, until suddenly Momoshiro's breath is tickling his ear. The cartilage of his ear feels like it's burning under the sun. "I'll stay if you stay," he says in this voice that Kaidoh can't help but think is husky and alluring. It's probably because Momoshiro's voice has never sounded this close before, and Kaidoh is unsure of what to do, what he's _allowed_ to do, because he certainly can feel what his body wants him to do.

But perhaps that's Kaidoh's problem. Perhaps he should start listening to his body, especially now when Momoshiro seems to be acting off script and pretending that the rules don't exist anymore. Not with the way he's so close to Kaidoh's body. Maybe, Momoshiro wants to be close, and that's enough of a sugar rush that Kaidoh can feel himself vitalized with vigorous energy that doesn't even compare to the stamina he exerts when he runs. He's overflowing with this energy, and there's only one way to let it all out.

Kaidoh hisses, and half grunts as he grumbles, "Then stay."

With a courageous effort, he pushes back at Momoshiro's arm, using a lot of strength to throw the other man off of him while he's still caught off guard from the surprise attack. Kaidoh has no idea what took over him, but he's eagerly climbing on top of Momoshiro, knees situated next to his hips, and his hands next to Momoshiro's head. Momoshiro doesn't object, so maybe he doesn't mind this new position, maybe he doesn't mind the closeness, and that gives Kaidoh enough courage to continue. Without any prompt from Momoshiro, Kaidoh's hand ends up—palm up—stroking the slight bulge in Momoshiro's shorts. He can feel the warmth exude from Momoshiro's half-hard penis, and it eagerly twitches with excitement at finally being touched.

It's the only place Kaidoh knows for sure he can touch that Momoshiro won't complain about, but right now, Momoshiro looks like he'd be alright with more touching. Or maybe that's just Kaidoh's wishful thinking. But the way Momoshiro looked at him …

It's in his eyes, that intense look—and he's not even looking directly at Kaidoh. Kaidoh thinks that there won't ever be a time they'll look each other in the eye as they do this, but that's okay. If Kaidoh can indulge his stupid urges and touch Momoshiro where he wants to, then he doesn't care if Momoshiro won't look at him. Instead, Kaidoh lets his eyes wander, studying the small details of his face and hair, all the while fondling Momoshiro through his pants. It's hard, and straining Momoshiro's shorts, it feels sweaty as well.

And for once, that's not actually as disgusting as Kaidoh would like to think. No, in fact, Kaidoh kind of likes it.

Momoshiro bites down on his lip as he concentrates on getting a hand in between their bodies as well, zoning in on Kaidoh's shorts this time.

Kaidoh feels stupidly relieved when Momoshiro's fingers touch it, and though he should be feeling embarrassed at liking this sort of perverted thing, instead he actually feels more pumped than normal—he feels like he can do anything.

And with that kind of mindset, Kaidoh's other hand dares to bury itself within Momoshiro's sweaty hair. It's greasy from his hairgel, and damp from his sweat, and while it doesn't actually feel all that comfortable, the fact that this is _Momoshiro's_ hair is enough to scramble up Kaidoh's mind. _He's touching it._ He's touching Momoshiro's hair. And Momoshiro hasn't punched him yet. No, instead, Momoshiro's body squirms below him, and he arches his back to flip his head back, his scalp leaning into the palm of Kaidoh's hand, like he's _begging_ Kaidoh to keep it there.

Or at least, that's what it seems like.

Kaidoh might be a little delusional right now, and that crazy sugar rush is impeding his rational thoughts, so maybe he's imagining it that Momoshiro seems to enjoy it. Everything always gets fuzzy to him when Momoshiro's hand feels as good as always. No, it feels even better. It's slow, but experienced—Momoshiro knows what Kaidoh likes by now, and that's kind of embarrassing, but enthralling. And he's not telling Kaidoh to fuck off and stay out of his hair, so getting this kind of permission is a little mind boggling to Kaidoh. He'll take what he can get.

Kaidoh hisses and rests his forehead against Momoshiro's neck, their hands in sync as they stroke and pull, and are throwing Kaidoh into ecstasy.

****

**oOo**

As it turned out, Kaidoh got away with a lot that night. He'll never forget what he did with Momoshiro. Maybe it was because it was their last day together before summer vacation, or maybe Momoshiro is subtly changing his rules. Whatever it was, Kaidoh won't forget it.

Mostly, everything felt like a dream, like a fog in his mind that feels good but blurry, like it cannot possibly be real. But it is, and Kaidoh remembers all the things he did, and all the sensations he felt. He remembers how his fingers would get lost in Momoshiro's increasingly damp hair, how his fingernails scratched the back of his scalp. He remembers taking off his shirt because it got far too hot. He remembers Momoshiro's hand on his back, forcing him down so that their bodies could meet and melt with each other, like he didn't want Kaidoh to go away. He remembers how gentle Momoshiro's touch was, how he was slow, but every action was deliberate, like he thought about what he was doing. He remembers burying his face into Momoshiro's neck, unable to hold himself back and hold Momoshiro close to him, and how Momoshiro let him, how he groaned in pleasure right into his ear.

Kaidoh even remembers how during the heat of the moment, he might have kissed Momoshiro's neck once or twice—it's not his fault, it was right there in his face! Not that Momoshiro seemed to have noticed, he was far too out of it to realize what Kaidoh was up to.

All in all, Kaidoh left the dorms feeling slightly more confident and with a spring in his steps. He feels happy. He feels good. It's because of last night; he and Momoshiro weren't fighting or calling each other disgusting or gross, Momoshiro didn't even push him away—they were just there for each other, making each other feel good. Momoshiro didn't complain once about what Kaidoh did, no, he looked like he enjoyed it as much as Kaidoh did. And with the way Momoshiro acted yesterday, Kaidoh thinks that maybe Momoshiro …

Maybe he feels the same? Maybe he … wants to touch Kaidoh too?

Kaidoh can feel himself blush when he remembers the way Momoshiro's hand firmly pressed down on his spine, to prevent him from pulling away. Yeah, he was definitely touching Kaidoh on his own accord. And it's making Kaidoh insanely giddy and happy.

Kaidoh isn't even annoyed that he spends the first day of summer vacation thinking about Momoshiro. He feels even more like a high school girl when he receives a text from Momoshiro. It's some mundane babble again, and while Kaidoh never replies to Momoshiro's stupid texts, he still looks forward to them. It makes him smile, because Momoshiro had to be thinking of him during his day to send him this. Even if it was just a few seconds of his day, Kaidoh's glad to be in Momoshiro's mind. That he won't forget him, despite being apart.

Which is a stark contrast to what happened after they went to a different high school. Then again, Momoshiro did text him a few times—but they eventually wore off until it was nothing but radio silence. That might have partially been Kaidoh's fault though, as Kaidoh was always annoyed by the timing of Momoshiro's messages (during school or during running), so he never replied. Still. The idiot could have tried harder to keep in touch. Maybe Kaidoh should message him back once in a while …

"Kaoru-nii-san, did you hear what I said?" asks Hazue, his 18 year old brother. "Are you waiting for someone to call you?"

Kaidoh bashfully pulls the phone away from view and stuffs it into his shorts—he was thinking about replying to one of Momoshiro's messages. He got distracted by Momoshiro again when he was supposed to be tying his shoes so he could run, until Hazue walked up to him. Was he really that deep in thought he didn't hear his brother talking to him?

"Uhm," Kaidoh says, frowning up at his brother. "Sorry, was thinking about something … what is it?"

"Here!" Hazue says cheerfully, and then shows Kaidoh a photo of a girl in a high school uniform. She has long black hair, and looks really skinny.

"Uhh …?" Kaidoh looks up at Hazue, wondering if he's supposed to know this girl.

"It's my girlfriend, Yuki," Hazue explains, tucking the photo away.

"G-girlfriend?" Kaidoh sputters. Hazue is way too young to have a girlfriend!

"Yes, well, it's normal for someone my age to have one," says Hazue with a smile. Then he scratches the back of his head in a shy manner. "Though compared to other guys, I'm a bit late …"

Kaidoh doesn't think that's true at all. What's Hazue doing with a girlfriend anyway? He should be focusing his time on more productive things, like studying and training! He shouldn't be having fun with a stupid girlfriend, that detracts from studying, and training obviously. Two very important things to Kaidoh. And if they're important to Kaidoh, then Kaidoh can't see why they wouldn't be important to Hazue as well.

"So uhh, we're going on our first date tomorrow, I'm really excited. I hope I can introduce you to her sometime." Hazue looks like he's positively swooning, it's kind of irritating. Kaidoh wants to remind Hazue that he is young and should probably not be going on dates when he can be training instead.

"… But what about your training?" Kaidoh asks offhandedly. He knows Hazue is in the tennis club of his high school, and while he is not a regular (despite Kaidoh training Hazue personally, his dear brother just never seemed to have that talent to be a star), he should still be busy with practice during summer vacation.

"What about it?" Hazue asks back, looking confused and taken aback.

"Don't you have practice with the tennis club over summer vacation?"

Hazue chuckles. "Of course, but since I'm not a regular, I can get away with slacking off for a bit, so I can spend some time with my girlfriend instead."

Kaidoh doesn't like that word. Slacking off. Especially slacking off for frivolous things like going on dates with a girl. When did his brother sink so low? When did he start liking girls?

Or perhaps it was Kaidoh who never did …

"Oh. You should train though, I can even come up with a training menu for you, if you'd like," Kaidoh offers what he considers to be very good advice.

Hazue throws his hands up and quickly shakes his head. "N-no, that's fine! It's okay. You worry about your own training, Kaoru-nii-san. Or actually, you should have fun instead. Have you met anyone you liked at college that you hang out with?"

Kaidoh frowns and gives Hazue this disgruntled look. "Fun? Like?"

"Yeah, you know, like a girl you met …" Hazue trails off, looking slightly embarrassed himself. "You know, that kind of like. Someone you want to date. I've never heard you talk about it before, so I wonder if it's any different in college."

"Me … like someone?" Kaidoh repeats. This is starting to feel like some kind of interrogation, and Kaidoh is not comfortable with that at all.

"Yeah! Do you?"

"No!" Kaidoh immediately replies at the accusation.

Hazue looks a bit disappointed. "Oh," he says with a sigh. "Have you ever liked someone …?" he asks instead.

Kaidoh wants this conversation to be over, as it's highly uncomfortable and annoying, and Kaidoh doesn't want to answer these stupid questions. He could be running instead, something much more productive. "No. … I don't know. Whatever."

Hazue sits down next to Kaidoh with a smile. "Is that so … so you've never felt butterflies in your stomach?"

"No, I have," Kaidoh answers. "When I was playing a tennis match during the nationals, I felt butterflies—it made me want to throw up."

"That's not the kind of butterflies I'm talking about …" Hazue chuckles awkwardly. "I mean … like, when I see Yuki, my girlfriend, I get all tied up and warm inside. It makes me want to be with her and smile at her for no reason. I want to kiss her too. You've never felt this way about someone before …?"

"…" Kaidoh would have said no straight away, but Hazue's words are starting to sink into him now. Momoshiro's face pops into Kaidoh's head.

Kaidoh gets all jumpy and giddy when he sees Momoshiro, and when Momoshiro looks at him, he does feel all warm and choked up. But Kaidoh attributes this to simply being excited to punch Momoshiro's face in.

Kaidoh does want to spend time with Momoshiro—he wants to play tennis with him after all.

Kaidoh does catch himself smiling like a stupid fool at Momoshiro when the idiot is smiling as well. But that's simply because it's contagious, it's impossible to repress the urge to smile when Momoshiro flashes that idiot grin at him.

And then … that last part Hazue mentioned …

"No. I have to go run." Kaidoh rushes to get up, forgetting to tie his shoelaces, and then he sprints off, away from their home.

Suddenly his heart is beating in his throat, and each time his feet make contact with the pavement, Kaidoh can feel an eerie chill spread through his body. Suddenly there's this cold feeling pooling in the bottom of his stomach, and Kaidoh's filled with dread. Dread because, he knows this can't be good. And that's why he'll deny it for as long as possible.

Suddenly his phone beeps and Kaidoh takes it out of his pocket right away, flipping it open to see what Momoshiro has sent him (he's the only person who sends Kaidoh messages, Kaidoh doesn't know if he should make more friends, or if Momoshiro should stop spamming him).

_Can't wait to play you. I'll beat your ass!_

There's a smile forming on Kaidoh's lips—which had been previously wrenched into a grimace—but when he realizes it, he shakes his head and starts to sprint at full speed ahead.

It just can't be true. Kaidoh won't let it be true. There's just no way that Kaidoh can like Momoshiro.

****

**oOo**

It's been on his mind ever since Hazue questioned him that day. Like this pesky annoying thought that won't leave him alone—much like what Momoshiro does when he sends him text messages. That's annoying too.

Even if Kaidoh doesn't particularly mind it all that much.

But still, it's the principle of things.

So when he has to meet up with Momoshiro to play their tennis match, Kaidoh is bundled with even more nerves and anxiety than normal. At first, he was excited to play, excited to see Momoshiro again—but now he's just a complete mess. He won't know what he'll do if he sees that idiot again. What he'll think, what he'll feel … in fact, Kaidoh would rather avoid Momoshiro at the moment, since he's so damn confused, and angry at being confused, but a small part inside of him can't refuse this opportunity. He hasn't played Momoshiro in years. _Years._ He has to go.

He _must_ go.

… So why the hell won't his legs move? Kaidoh is creepily hiding behind some tree, looking out over the tennis court he and Momoshiro had agreed to meet up at. He can't make himself move anymore, he's still thinking whether or not he should make a run for it, lest he be filled with confusing emotions once more. But he also really wants to play Momoshiro.

When Momoshiro finally does show up, completely unaware that Kaidoh had been there first, he sits down on some stairs and starts fiddling around with his phone.

Kaidoh's anxiety shoots through the roof, and he's pretty sure he's having some kind of panic attack. He can feel his face turn red, and his heart is giving him palpitations. It's hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to even think. Momoshiro is right there! He could call out to him and then Momoshiro would see Kaidoh lamely trying to hide his whereabouts. And then he'd laugh at Kaidoh, and then Kaidoh would run away, because that's the only thing he's good at.

Perhaps Kaidoh should have gotten some advice from his brother or something—he seemed to know what to do when he liked someone.

Not that he likes Momoshiro, obviously.

If that lie were the truth though, Kaidoh would have no problems marching up to Momoshiro right now and play their damn game. But his legs feel like jelly, and his ribcage has a stampede celebrating inside—Kaidoh's frozen on the spot.

What if it is true? Just looking at Momoshiro like a creep is enough for Kaidoh's emotions to go haywire. He's never felt this afraid of someone before, afraid of their reactions, afraid of what he might do himself. What he might feel. He's afraid of what he might feel for Momoshiro, because he knows that's not something he should do, and it's not like Momoshiro would ever think the same of him. Then again, Momoshiro _is_ sitting on some steps waiting for Kaidoh of all people. If Momoshiro truly wanted nothing to do with Kaidoh, then he'd stop sending text messages, and he wouldn't be waiting for him right now. Yes … Momoshiro obviously, on some level, wants to see Kaidoh and talk to him.

A slimmer of hope wedges itself into Kaidoh's chest cavity, and he thinks; perhaps, he doesn't need to be afraid.

Kaidoh gulps down all of his worries and anxiety, and commands his legs to move. The short distance from the tree to Momoshiro feels like the longest walk Kaidoh's ever crossed. Momoshiro's back keeps growing bigger and bigger, until he's right behind him, and the idiot still doesn't notice him. Momoshiro is engrossed with his cellphone, texting someone. Well, what should Kaidoh do to get his attention? Say hi … or something?

Then he remembers he's not ever nice to Momoshiro, so he tries to act as normal as possible as he walks past Momoshiro, down the steps, and makes sure his bag hits the back of Momoshiro's head.

"What the—hey!" Momoshiro frantically looks up, then his expression morphs from annoyance to excitement instead. If Momoshiro were a puppy dog, he'd be wagging his tail right now. "Kaidoh!" he says eagerly. Kaidoh fights the urge to smile back. "What took you so long, jerk."

Just watching you, Kaidoh thinks. He sets his bag on the ground to start taking out his equipment. He hopes that by distracting himself he can ignore that buoyant feeling in his stomach, and how it keeps flip flopping whenever he looks at Momoshiro. He also hopes by god he's not blushing anymore. "Let's just play," Kaidoh grunts out.

Momoshiro stays put on the stairs, doing nothing but stare at Kaidoh. Knowing Momoshiro's eyes are on his back, is making his heart beat even faster—that asshole, is he doing it on purpose!? Does he know that this drives Kaidoh crazy … ?

"Yo, Mamushi, got a sunburn or something?" Momoshiro asks with a smug smirk. "Your cheeks are pretty red."

And just as he says that, Kaidoh's cheeks sting even more with colour, embarrassment flooding over him for being found out. Kaidoh does whatever Kaidoh does best when he's being confronted by something embarrassing; he gets angry and confrontational. He quickly grabs his racket and points it at Momoshiro like it's his weapon, ready to beat him if he says anything more. "Shut up dumbass, get off your fat ass and play me."

"I've got some sunscreen with me if you want to use it!" Momoshiro jokes happily.

Kaidoh throws a tennis ball at his head.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh was afraid he'd do something stupid during their match. Like stumble over his two left feet because he gets all tongue tied whenever Momoshiro looks at him. But surprisingly, when they're on the court together, all Kaidoh felt was the nostalgia of playing Momoshiro when they were younger. When they were rivals, and that's all they did together. That's all they were. It was unbelievably simple between them, and Kaidoh had so much fun playing Momoshiro again like this.

He got to see Momoshiro's serious face once more, only having eyes for Kaidoh this time. He got to see Momoshiro's new moves up close. He got to feel that adrenaline pumping through him again that he hasn't felt in years, the kind he only gets around Momoshiro.

By the end, even if Kaidoh lost, Kaidoh doesn't feel angry, confused, weird, or anxious at all. No, he almost feels liberated in a way. That crazy adrenaline rush is making Kaidoh think everything's okay, everything's alright, there's nothing out of the ordinary, and this is how he and Momoshiro have always been. There's nothing scary about that.

Kaidoh approaches the net, as Momoshiro does the same. They're both sweaty and breathing harshly—the match took more than an hour to settle, and they're both exhausted. Neither of them went easy on the other, and that's just how Kaidoh likes it. Momoshiro never goes easy on him, he goes all out. And he won, and Kaidoh isn't even upset about that. No, he's incredibly at ease and happy at the result. Who cares if he lost when he got to play Momoshiro like this again? Where nothing else mattered but them and the ball? Where they flung insults of encouragement at each other? Where Momoshiro kept looking at Kaidoh?

It was most definitely worth it.

Kaidoh wants to play again.

"That … was a good match," says Momoshiro as he stretches his hand over the net. He gives Kaidoh this mischievous smirk, as if he's sharing a secret with Kaidoh.

Kaidoh's hand slides into Momoshiro's, and while hot and sweaty, it makes his skin tingle and crawl, but in a good way. "Yeah …" he replies. It was a great match. He squeezes Momoshiro's hand, unable to let go.

"You know, if you were in the tennis club, then you might have stood a chance at beating me," Momoshiro says. He's smirking again. Kaidoh can't find it in himself to be grumpy, so instead he allows himself this small smile.

"I just went easy on you, that's all." Kaidoh looks Momoshiro in the eye, and holds his stare, which is all powerful and filling him up with a warm and comfortable fuzzy feeling.

"Sure you did," Momoshiro says in a mock tone. "You keep telling yourself that. If you don't start playing tennis again soon, I'll leave you behind." Momoshiro squeezes Kaidoh's hand a bit harder, and it makes Kaidoh's heart beat even faster.

Kaidoh doesn't want Momoshiro to leave him behind, and he's not talking about it in terms of tennis. He doesn't want Momoshiro to stop talking to him, to stop interacting with him, to stop sending text messages, to stop jerking each other off, to stop playing matches with each other. Kaidoh's pretty damn sure he doesn't want Momoshiro to leave him behind at all. He wants to be with him, and experience all these things with him. To have fun, to feel like this all the time, like he can do anything he wants, like Momoshiro will support him, like Momoshiro will be there for him, and Momoshiro _wants_ to be there for him.

And with the way Momoshiro is still holding onto Kaidoh's hand, perhaps Momoshiro is thinking the same. Perhaps he doesn't want to leave Kaidoh behind at all. Perhaps, just like Kaidoh, he feels warm and fuzzy as well with their hands clasped together after playing a really good match. Perhaps those eyes that keep following him is because Momoshiro can't bear to look away.

"I guess that just means we have to play more matches with each other," says Kaidoh in a brave voice. It's the first time he expresses an interest in playing Momoshiro—usually he just tries to make it seem like it's an annoyance to him, like he's forced to do it. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Kaidoh will jump at the chance to play him again.

In fact, Kaidoh's pretty damn sure that when they go back to college, he'll quit the track and field club and join the tennis team. He doesn't know what took him so long, he's been missing out on a lot of things with Momoshiro like this. He's been stubborn for way too long. Kaidoh should simply accept he likes to play tennis, and he definitely likes to play tennis with Momoshiro.

"That's fine with me—prepare to get your ass kicked then," says Momoshiro with a laugh. A laugh that rumbles in Kaidoh's stomach and makes him feel goosebumps. He can't help but grin back at Momoshiro.

"In your dreams, dumbass," Kaidoh says with a chuckle. The insult almost sounds like a fond nickname, and subconsciously he squeezes Momoshiro's hand again, which are still joined together.

But then Momoshiro finally lets go of Kaidoh's hand—Kaidoh has to resist the urge to grab for it and pull it back—and lifts it to curl it into a fist. Kaidoh can't help but feel giddy and smile like an idiot, as he fistbumps Momoshiro's fist with his own. His body trembles at the contact, it feels like an overdose of sugar and everything sweet. He hasn't done this with Momoshiro in a very long time, so Kaidoh's pretty happy at the moment.

"Yeah, let's play again," Momoshiro says in a low voice, one that gives Kaidoh even more butterflies in his stomach.

Kaidoh nods his head, unable to talk back, and then they both clean up their tennis equipment and leave the court together. Kaidoh sticks close to Momoshiro's side. Or is it Momoshiro who is sticking to his side? Kaidoh can't tell. In less than a second, it's pretty obvious it's Momoshiro who is sticking to his side, as he casually throws an arm around Kaidoh's shoulder, pulling him close. Kaidoh's just about to have his heart stop beating with this sneak attack. Now he's sweating for a whole other reason.

"Man, I'm beat. How about you take me home?" Momoshiro jokes.

"Take yourself home," Kaidoh replies, trying to keep up appearances of being in a foul mood as always. He's anything but. With Momoshiro this close, it's hard to focus on anything but the friction of their shirts, the warmth coming from Momoshiro's body, and liking the way he presses against him. Kaidoh pushes his shoulder into him, as a way to show that he's still Kaidoh, and Kaidoh is supposed to not like being touched—a big fat lie when it comes to Momoshiro; he definitely likes this.

When Momoshiro leans more and more of his weight onto Kaidoh's body as they slowly walk away, Kaidoh's thoughts start acting up again. Momoshiro is the one who came up with the rule to not touch each other … but he is most definitely touching Kaidoh right now.

"But I won, that means you need to do something nice for me." This time, Momoshiro decides to lean his head against Kaidoh's shoulder.

Suddenly there are warning bells ringing in Kaidoh's head. Or maybe those are just his ears buzzing. Buzzing because he's getting overwhelmed at Momoshiro's actions, the way he's so casual around him, touching him so nonchalantly, like it's always been this way, like Momoshiro _wants_ to touch Kaidoh. He's even asking Kaidoh to take him home.

Isn't this completely unlike the Momoshiro he met at the beginning of college? The one that called him gross if he touched him just once?

Kaidoh gulps. Maybe … maybe Momoshiro has changed. Or at least, his feelings have. Much like Kaidoh's feelings changed. And maybe … maybe their feelings are the same. If Momoshiro is voluntarily touching Kaidoh, that means he wants to, right? Just like Kaidoh wants to …

"W-when the hell did we agree to that?" Kaidoh says with a nervous hiss. He hopes it's not obvious that Momoshiro has this big of an effect on him. How much he turns him into this bumbling fool that stutters and blushes whenever Momoshiro does something or says something. Ahh, why does that idiot insist on keeping his head there!? It's torture! Kaidoh wants to pull him even closer like this.

"Hmm, now?" Momoshiro chuckles.

Because Momoshiro's head is on Kaidoh's shoulder, his voice is super close, meaning his laughter rings through Kaidoh's ears. It takes every ounce of self control to not push Momoshiro off him right now and kiss him instead. Kaidoh doesn't even know where the urge comes from, but Momoshiro's laughter just does funny things to him. Like think it's a good idea to kiss Momoshiro, and that maybe he wouldn't protest, maybe he even wants to, too.

But that's a scary thought, and Kaidoh stops himself in time and shrugs Momoshiro off of him before it gets too dangerous. If Momoshiro continues to hang all over him like this, Kaidoh's pretty sure he's going to do something stupid. Or say something stupid. So he quickens his pace to walk ahead of Momoshiro, to cool down his racing heart, and give his cheeks a break from blushing so much. He hates how almost everything Momoshiro does nowadays makes him turn red.

Kaidoh didn't expect to be tackled down from behind by Momoshiro. "Gotcha!" Momoshiro yells as he jumps down on Kaidoh's back. Unprepared for such an attack, Kaidoh falls down—they _both_ fall down, rolling along the small grass hill until they come to a stop. Their bags are carelessly lying in the grass behind them. Momoshiro is laughing, which in turn does funny things to Kaidoh again and before he knows it, Kaidoh's crawled on top of him, fingers dug into his shirt, and hissing in his face.

It's all Momoshiro's fault. For making him feel these funny and weird things that Kaidoh can't make sense of. And by doing all these things, like throwing an arm around his shoulder, or leaning his head against him, or giving him fistbumps, or sending him silly text messages, it's making Kaidoh think that Momoshiro wants to … that he wants to …

Well, _something_. He wants something from Kaidoh.

Just like how Kaidoh wants something from Momoshiro.

"Get off, you're too heavy," Momoshiro complains and manages to throw Kaidoh off.

Still stunned and caught off guard by the tackle, Kaidoh lies in the grass, staring at the orange sky, trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. Or trying to prevent himself from doing weird impulsive things, like reach for Momoshiro's hand, which is resting next to his. Or bump his shoulder into him. Or touch his hair. Or smile at him. Or kiss him.

Too many feelings …

"I don't want to move an inch," Momoshiro says with a sigh.

To be honest, Kaidoh doesn't want to either. He's perfectly content lying here with Momoshiro like this. He doesn't want the day to be over yet. But all good things must come to an end. "You're going to have to eventually," he grumbles. This day will have to come to an end, but Kaidoh doesn't want it to. He wants to spend more time with Momoshiro. He's missed him.

Wait what—missed him?

Kaidoh bites down on his lip, and peeks at Momoshiro through the tall blades of grass. He missed that idiot? Well … to be honest … he did. He missed seeing his stupid gelled hair. He missed seeing his stupid grin. He missed hearing that annoying voice, that intoxicating laugh. He's missed fighting with him. And he's missed touching him. Yes, Kaidoh can't get away with lying this time; he's missed Momoshiro for those few long days that they were apart.

Suddenly Momoshiro's hand makes contact with Kaidoh's, his knuckles brushing up against Kaidoh by accident. Surprisingly, Kaidoh doesn't pull away, he doesn't even stop staring at Momoshiro like some kind of stalker. Not even when Momoshiro turns his head to look at Kaidoh as well is enough to deter him from staring at Momoshiro.

Looking into Momoshiro's eyes always makes Kaidoh feel weak, and yet at the same time, it's filling up his head with all these could-be and what-if scenarios. What if Momoshiro missed him too? Could it be that Momoshiro wants to stay with him as well?

What if Kaidoh's not the only one who has the urge to kiss?

It seems like they're having a conversation with their eyes, no words spoken, only stares are exchanged. Momoshiro won't look away, and Kaidoh doesn't dare to either. This isn't a stare-down, one they've had many times before, this is something else. Kaidoh doesn't understand what exactly it is, but he feels like something's about to happen if they keep looking at each other like this, like this pressure just keeps on building up between them, and sooner or later, it will come unraveled. Why won't Momoshiro look away? Could it be … he doesn't want to? Just like Kaidoh doesn't want to look away?

Could Momoshiro want the same things as Kaidoh?

He's not just imagining it, right?

No … when Kaidoh looks back on it as a whole, Momoshiro has definitely acted like he wanted to break his own rules, and already has multiple times. He might have said those things all those months ago, but right now, Momoshiro might be thinking and feeling the same things as Kaidoh.

Not that he knows for sure, but Momoshiro isn't looking away, so Kaidoh will take this as a good sign.

Alright, if Momoshiro breaks eye-contact within the next minute, then Kaidoh will admit that he's just letting his imagination get the better of him, making him believe things like how Momoshiro might want to touch him too, or be with him in general. But … if Momoshiro keeps looking at him … if he'll _touch_ Kaidoh on his own accord—then Kaidoh won't be able to hold back.

So Kaidoh waits, blinking at Momoshiro, anxious if he's going to look away or not.

Momoshiro shifts a bit in the grass, but his eyes never leave Kaidoh's. And then, suddenly, Momoshiro's hand moves. It slides up against Kaidoh's shirt, until Momoshiro's fingertips graze Kaidoh's chin.

Kaidoh lets out a shaky breath; this is seriously taking a toll on him. _Momoshiro is looking at him. Momoshiro is touching him._ Oh dear god, Momoshiro's fingers are touching his bright red cheek! Kaidoh doesn't know what to do. What does he do!? All his insides are screaming at him, all obnoxious and loud, and Kaidoh can't make any sense of it. All he knows that Momoshiro is touching his cheek, and he's chuckling at him—that magical laugh.

 _Momoshiro's hand is on his cheek._ There's no way Momoshiro would ever do this unless … unless …

"Stupid," Momoshiro says with that delightful chuckle again. His fingertips slowly brush up and down against Kaidoh's cheek, which causes his heart to go out of control. Can Momoshiro hear it? The way he's controlling his heart? His emotions? He's a complete mess. "I told you I had sunscreen with me."

Something takes control of Kaidoh's body. Perhaps he's under some kind of spell, a spell that was performed on him by Momoshiro's fingers. Whatever it is, Kaidoh covers Momoshiro's hand with his own, forcing him to cup the entire side of his face, so that he can't pull it back. Momoshiro's eyes widen in surprise, but he's not looking away, he's not pulling away, he's not calling Kaidoh gross, he's not calling Kaidoh anything—and Kaidoh takes this as a sign.

A sign that Momoshiro wants this too.

So Kaidoh musters up all the courage in the world, temporarily feeling like a fearless lion, spurred on by Momoshiro's closeness and his gaze, and he leans closer. Closer across the field of grass, until his face is right next to Momoshiro's, who hasn't moved an inch, and Kaidoh does it. He presses his mouth against Momoshiro's, and this time, Momoshiro is wide awake.

Kaidoh Kaoru is kissing Momoshiro Takeshi entirely on his own volition, and the only thing he can really focus on is that Momoshiro's lips feel squishy and warm. Probably the closest graphical representation of his mind right now would be colourful sparkles exploding into cats and hearts.

And just as abruptly, his entire body feels like it's been dunked into a bucket full of ice when Momoshiro's hands give a forceful push at Kaidoh's chest, knocking the breath out of him. Momoshiro's entire face is red, and he's rubbing the back of his hand against his lips, like he's disgusted with what Kaidoh did.

"What the hell, Kaidoh!" Momoshiro yells. There's confusion written all over his face.

_Oh shit._

R … run!

Before he can die of humiliation, of rejection and embarrassment, Kaidoh manages to pick himself up from the ground—he has no idea how he even pulled that off as everything in his body has turned to stone—and he reaches for his bag to grab it. He throws it over his back and turns on his heel, almost tripping over his feet—his back feels like it's drenched in cold sweat—and he runs. Runs faster than he's ever run before.

Kissing Momoshiro Takeshi was a mistake. A humiliating mistake.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh has come to terms with never speaking to Momoshiro again.

He has also decided to switch rooms, a decision he still has not made final yet because he's a wuss, and is scared of even thinking about it. Because thinking reminds him of what he did, the guilt and humiliation and rejection that came from it is enough to make Kaidoh crawl back into bed and forget the world even exists. And not even go running. Ever.

Everything suddenly reminds him of what he did that day. Even looking at himself in the mirror is enough to disgust himself with what he did. And even though he's turned his phone off—in fear of Momoshiro calling him—it still gives him this nervous and anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach the moment he sees it lying on his nightstand. Like it's a constant reminder that Momoshiro is probably trying to contact him, and he probably wants to punch Kaidoh's face in. Or maybe he wants to kill him, that could be it, too.

Even Kaidoh sort of wants to kill himself right about now. He doesn't know what came over him, why he thought it was a good idea …. Why he even did it. Why he thought Momoshiro wouldn't mind. Everything that seemed like a hint or sign that Momoshiro might like it too—they all suddenly vanished, and now Kaidoh is left wondering if he made them all up before. If he was hallucinating half the time he spent with Momoshiro, conjuring up these crazy fantasies that maybe, Momoshiro wants it too.

It's sickening.

What is wrong with him? Kaidoh shouldn't be feeling this way towards Momoshiro. They're guys after all, right? Even his brother, has gotten a girlfriend. So why is Kaidoh the odd one out?

Well, it doesn't matter. Because Kaidoh has pretty much ruined whatever he had with Momoshiro. He won't ever see him again. Kaidoh will disappear out of Momoshiro's life, just the way he probably wants it to be, if the strength of that push was any indication, Momoshiro definitely does not want to be around Kaidoh.

So Kaidoh does something he's pretty good at. Avoiding Momoshiro, that is.

The rest of his vacation passes by in a blink, and Kaidoh hardly has any memories from it—something about going clam digging on a beach with his family—and the only memory he does remember, is the one he desperately wants to forget.

Kaidoh wondered if perhaps, he can act like it never happened. But that's a stupid idea, and Momoshiro would still punch him in the face, and tell him he hates him, and to get lost and never show his face around again. It makes Kaidoh want to throw up. All those fizzly and warm feelings had felt pleasant before have now all turned upside down, and makes Kaidoh feel like he's seasick and he's on the verge of always throwing up. Most of all, aside from feeling sick, Kaidoh also feels a regrettable amount of hurt. He doesn't want to admit it, but the pain in his chest and stomach is hard to ignore, and the way Momoshiro pushed him away stings more than it should. It really fucking stings. It's the worst thing ever.

Scratch that, trying to muster up the courage to go back into his dorm room is the worst thing ever. Kaidoh can't do it. But he has to, because summer vacation is over, and he needs a place to sleep at, or t least dump his stuff. Though sleeping outside now looks very, very tempting, and hell, Kaidoh's slept outside before! But he knows Momoshiro will be waiting for him, and Kaidoh is too terrified at the reality of seeing him again after running off like that. He can't keep his heartbeat nor breathing steady— _and he hasn't even entered the building yet!_

What's the worst thing that can happen anyway? Kaidoh's already been rejected and humiliated, and made himself look like a fool—but then he realized he would still feel all those things as soon as he sees Momoshiro again. And then he'd get punched in the face.

So yeah, he'd rather avoid that right now.

Kaidoh ends up lingering around (running of course) until he's really out of energy and returns to the dorm rooms to at least return his belongings that he's been carrying around all this time. It's five in the morning; hopefully that dumbass is asleep. Because if he's not, shit, Kaidoh doesn't know what to do. Run away? Scream? Brace himself for the impact of his bone crushing under Momoshiro's knuckles? Something at least.

Tiptoeing around, Kaidoh sneaks into the building. It's pitch black and eerily quiet. It makes Kaidoh feel like he's in some kind of horror movies, and while he might protest the notion to save some of his dignity—Kaidoh does _not_ like horror movies.

Not that he has any dignity left after what he did to Momoshiro.

Ugh, he needs to stop thinking about. Just open the door, dump his stuff, run away, and find a park bench to sleep on outside. It all sounds so simple in his head, so why does his body not seem to be able to move anymore? Kaidoh's hand is frozen on the door handle, as if someone pressed the pause button to freeze him in mid-action. All sorts of thoughts race through his mind; what if Momoshiro is actually awake? What if he's not even in the room, but he's actually outside on the hallway, waiting for Kaidoh to return and be able to ambush him? What if Momoshiro already made the decision to change rooms, and now he's already living with his other roommate, and Kaidoh's just being a big dumb fool for being scared of entering an empty room? He gulps, then pushes down the handle.

In a lightning fast reaction, Kaidoh shoves his bag inside, and slams the door shut.

Then he runs away.

 _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit_ —Momoshiro was sleeping in there! He heard him snore! The thought alone makes him want to run away forever.

Which is what he ends up doing. Kaidoh runs all throughout the night, not even getting a wink of sleep, and attends his classes like normal.

Well, what you can call normal.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh's been ducking behind potted plants and trashcans all day long, when he thinks he spots Momoshiro that is. This means that anytime a black haired person with wax in their hair walks by, Kaidoh lets out a squeak and skitters off like a mouse. Good thing he's pretty damn good at running. Not that his is something he should be bragging about now.

Even doing club activities isn't enough to distract Kaidoh from the eventual run-in with Momoshiro that is waiting to happen. He feels paranoid, as if Momoshiro is spying on him all day long, waiting for his chance to jump out of the shadows and beat the crap out of Kaidoh. If that were to happen, Kaidoh would probably die of a heart attack before Momoshiro could even land a hit on him. His heart already feels like it's going to burst and shatter at the slightest provocation.

Kaidoh is seriously mustering up the courage to go to the landlord, and ask to switch dorm rooms. There's simply no way he can live there still. Not with him and Momoshiro in the same room. It would end up like some sort of bloodbath—like a murder scene from a movie.

Besides, that room holds way too many memories that Kaidoh would rather forget about. He wonders if he can hit himself in the head with a rock to knock those memories right outta there.

That would probably only leave him with a headache though, so Kaidoh doesn't do it. He just trains, trains all day long, even after club activities have stopped for the day, and the sun has already set. What else is he supposed to do? Go back to the room and see Momoshiro? That's horrifying. No, Kaidoh would much rather stay out here, jumping some stupid rope, all alone, not seeing Momoshiro at all.

"Practicing late?"

 _What th—_ Kaidoh's so startled he mistimes his jump, and his foot hooks around the rope, which throws himself off balance, and falls down on the grass—face first. His heart feels like it's been face planted as well; that was most definitely …

Momoshiro. Oh shit.

Kaidoh frantically scrambles to get up as nausea settles in his stomach, accidentally facing Momoshiro as he does so, and when he sees him, his blood runs cold. He could have been a damn zombie with the way his heart literally stopped dead in its tracks. _Move_ he tells himself, and Kaidoh does; he runs away.

Oh crap—that's really Momoshiro! He sought Kaidoh out, and now he's going to tell him how disgusting he is, and how much he hates him, and how he'll beat him up so much he'll land in a hospital. He can't face him right now—Kaidoh isn't ready! Kaidoh's feet send him soaring through the campus, but unfortunately, those are not the only pair of feet running on campus. He doesn't even need to look back; he knows Momoshiro is chasing him, _especially_ when he's telling Kaidoh to stop running away.

Over his dead body!

Kaidoh flees to a nearby park, hoping to lose him there.

"Stop running you asshole!" Momoshiro yells at him from afar.

No fucking way!

"Kaidoh!"

_Go away. Go away. Go away._

Kaidoh's too freaked out to face Momoshiro after spending each day in a mortified and humiliated state. He can't. He doesn't want to know what Momoshiro has to say to him, the hurtful words that'd be coming out of his mouth. Things like how disgusting it was, how grossed out Momoshiro is with Kaidoh, and how much he hates Kaidoh now. Kaidoh would rather die first before hearing what Momoshiro has to say. He'll take this to the grave.

But unfortunately, Momoshiro is a stubborn old asshole that won't give up, and somehow—like some idiot cosplaying a cowboy—he's thrown the jumprope around Kaidoh's ankles, and it gets all tangled up before Kaidoh falls down _yet again._

He doesn't get up this time, he's too terrified to move anymore. Kaidoh reverts into this child-like state where he thinks that if he just makes himself small enough on the ground, Momoshiro won't see him. He won't talk to him. He's so deathly afraid of confrontation, yet he's too petrified to pick himself up and run away again. Wishing the ground would open and swallow him up, Kaidoh buries his head into the dirt, eyes squeezed shut tight, and his blood is frantically pumping through him, sending out distress signals to his head. But no matter how hard he shuts his eyes, he can still picture Momoshiro's scorning look in his head. The look of disgust that would probably be on his face.

Fight or flight, what does he do?

Kaidoh doesn't know. He really doesn't know. Just please go away … please don't acknowledge he even exists.

He can hear Momoshiro walk up to him. "Why the hell are you running away from me!?" Momoshiro demands to know. His voice sounds super close, so Kaidoh guesses he's standing in front of him, and this is so humiliating Kaidoh wishes he could die. He feels so damn queasy.

When Momoshiro nudges him in his side with his foot, Kaidoh squawks out loud in surprise, and he quickly shields his entire body with his arms. Even if it's dark outside, Kaidoh won't take any chances.

"D-don't look at me," Kaidoh says. It's too hard, it's too scary. Everything is written on his face, and he can be read like an open book. Momoshiro just needs to take one good look, and he can see how scared Kaidoh is. How petrified and anxious he is of Momoshiro's response. How Kaidoh realizes what he's done, and no, it wasn't a joke. It never was. It was all real, all true to his feelings, and Kaidoh feels disgusted with himself for having them, and for acting upon them.

"Huh?" Momoshiro bends down to Kaidoh's level, and this is sending his heart racing painfully. Oh shit, he's really going to tell Kaidoh that he's disgusted with him, isn't he? "What are you doing? Get up." Suddenly Kaidoh can feel Momoshiro's fingers wrap around his wrist, and this raises all these warning flags up in his head.

"Don't touch me!" he yells at Momoshiro with a hiss, yanking his wrist out of Momoshiro's grip. "I told you not to look at me!" He covers his head with both his arms now, hoping to prevent Momoshiro from looking at him.

"What the hell Kaidoh—what is wrong with you?" Momoshiro asks exasperated.

"Just leave me alone—go away," Kaidoh says, almost pleading. He hisses in frustration.

"Why? Just do you can ignore me again? I don't think so. How about you tell me why you've been avoiding me, huh."

Isn't that fucking obvious!? Kaidoh growls and is considering punching Momoshiro before he punches Kaidoh first, then run like hell. He shields his head again when he sees Momoshiro move to take a better look at him. The asshole. Why doesn't he leave him alone?

"You're not even going to talk to me right now?" Damn straight, Kaidoh can't get a word out anyhow. "Fucking asshole, I'm going to kick your ass." Well, that's what Kaidoh's been bracing himself for all this time, dumbass.

Even though Kaidoh was preparing himself for the inevitable contact of Momoshiro's fist—he stills yelps loudly when Momoshiro does touch him. But it isn't a punch. He's grabbed hold of Kaidoh's wrist again, and he's trying to tug it away from Kaidoh's cowering face. No! He can't let Momoshiro see!

"Let go! Can't you just fucking leave me alone!?" The desperation in his voice is dripping from each word, Kaidoh really is losing it. If Momoshiro looks at him … if he sees all the secrets on his face … if Kaidoh looks at Momoshiro … seeing the disgust on _his_ face, quite honestly, Kaidoh wouldn't be able to handle it. He'd rather endure a beating that lasts for hours, than to look Momoshiro in the eye.

But then Momoshiro does manage to pull Kaidoh's arm away from his face—it was his last line of defense, and now Momoshiro can see everything written on Kaidoh's face. His face is red, a deep dark red that even in the night could easily be spotted. Kaidoh wants to punch Momoshiro and run away, but he's too weak under Momoshiro's eyes. He's so damn afraid of what is about to come.

"Why …" Momoshiro starts slowly, lowering his hand along with Kaidoh's wrist. Please go away. Please leave Kaidoh alone. Please let him wail in his own misery. "Did you do that?"

_Do what?_

But who is Kaidoh kidding; he knows exactly what Momoshiro means. How could he possibly forget what he's done when it's the one thing that's been plaguing his mind every minute of the day? He regrets it so much.

"I didn't do anything …" Kaidoh grumbles, hoping that if he pretends nothing happened, nothing really did happen. Maybe he can fool Momoshiro if he can fool himself as well. He tries to get his wrist back from Momoshiro's hold—the contact of Momoshiro's hand on his own skin feels like he's being burned—but Momoshiro tugs it back and tightens his grip; he's not going to let go. Probably doesn't want Kaidoh to run off so he can set him straight once and for all.

Anything but that, please. Kaidoh just wants to be left alone now, and never ever look at Momoshiro again. Even now, he's desperately trying to hide his face with his other arm.

"Yeah right," Momoshiro huffs. "Don't play dumb and avoid the subject. You've done enough avoiding already, and it's seriously pissing me off."

Here it comes—he's going to say he hates Kaidoh, then punch him, and call him disgusting, and Kaidoh would have to go die.

"Nothing happened, there's nothing to avoid," Kaidoh lies. He's still hoping and praying he can pretend nothing happened, and then maybe, Momoshiro will give up and not say anything at all.

"And now you're _denying_ it even happened? What the hell Kaidoh. Stop it, you're being an annoying douchebag. Why can't you just tell me!?" Momoshiro tugs on Kaidoh's wrist again.

"It was a mistake!" Kaidoh blurts out, and his eyes grow large when he realizes what he's said. "N-now let me go!" _Please!_

Momoshiro doesn't let Kaidoh go, but he doesn't say anything either, just sits and stares at Kaidoh, and this is making everything seem ten times worse. What is he thinking? What is he going to do? Is he going to hit Kaidoh or not? Just do _something_ already, don't just sit there!

Momoshiro's grip on Kaidoh's wrist loosens, and Kaidoh takes his chance and rips it out of Momoshiro's hold. "A mistake?" Momoshiro asks.

Kaidoh quickly backs up, hugging his wrist to his chest as if it's been mutilated, and finally gathers enough strength to get up from the ground. He turns his back to Momoshiro; he can't let him see Kaidoh. Can't let him see this pathetic and whimpering and wimpy side of him; even his legs are shaking. The Kaidoh that is actually afraid, when he's usually anything but. Yet, somehow, when it comes to this, he's most definitely afraid of hearing Momoshiro's words. Kaidoh doesn't want to hear it. He wants to pretend it never happened, he wishes he never did it in the first place. It was all a mistake, a grave mistake. A stupid misunderstanding.

"It's nothing," Kaidoh bites out. He hopes that by saying this, Momoshiro will actually leave him alone and forget about it. Then maybe, Kaidoh won't have to hear anything else. They can just, say their goodbyes, and never talk to each other again.

Yes, Kaidoh will remove himself from Momoshiro's life, permanently. What he did messed everything up—he knows that. He has no idea why he thought it was okay to do, because obviously, Momoshiro is angry at him for it. Kaidoh won't blame him; they are after all, guys. He's not some pretty girl like Yuki, Hazue's girlfriend. He's just Kaidoh, Kaidoh who runs a lot, and is grumpy ninety percent of the time. And who would want to be kissed by a grump? Whatever signs he may have seen during the times he's spent with Momoshiro, they were all misunderstandings. Momoshiro never liked spending time with Kaidoh, he probably thinks he's a grump, too. Momoshiro happened to be one horny perverted dumbass, and Kaidoh happened to be his roommate. None of it meant anything. It didn't matter that Momoshiro did this with Kaidoh—it could have been anyone else.

Kaidoh just happened to be there; he was the convenient guy to get free handjobs from.

And Kaidoh had this stupid, sick idea in his head, that it was the other way around. His stupid fluttery feelings made him feel like that Momoshiro didn't want handjobs. That maybe, he wanted _Kaidoh_ instead.

Obviously, he had been gravely mistaken.

"Forget about it," Kaidoh mutters. Forget about it all. Please don't ever remember what Kaidoh did—because Kaidoh certainly doesn't want to remember the most humiliating moment of his life.

"I can't."

Of all the things Kaidoh's relentless mind has imagined what Momoshiro would say to him—that wasn't one of them.

Can't? Momoshiro can't forget? What does that mean? He can't forget because it was so traumatizing he can't get it out of his mind? Or he can't forget because he doesn't want to? Suddenly a hundred similar questions float through Kaidoh's mind, and it's giving him this weird sense of hope, like maybe Momoshiro didn't hate it … maybe his initial suspicions were actually correct.

But no—Momoshiro pushed him away. That message couldn't be more loud and clear.

So Kaidoh sighs, feeling his entire body shake. No more of this. No more false hope. "Don't … don't say things like that." It makes Kaidoh even weaker than he already feels like. Momoshiro needs to stop messing with him by using strange words and simply punch him already. That would settle everything, instead of anxiously waiting for the punchline to come, and being subjected by Momoshiro's odd behavior.

"Why not?" Momoshiro asks, completely oblivious.

Kaidoh grits his teeth. "Because I'll …" Start having really vivid fantasies about Momoshiro. If Momoshiro keeps saying things like that, it'll make Kaidoh too hopeful.. He'll end up misunderstanding and misinterpreting Momoshiro's words.

"You'll …?" Momoshiro pushes for an answer.

No, he can't say it. "Nothing," Kaidoh says. Then he straightens up his back; he can still run away! He doesn't have to stand there and take it, he can be a coward and run away. Yup, that's exactly what he'll do. "I'm going."

"No!" Momoshiro suddenly flings himself at Kaidoh, and unprepared for such an attack, Kaidoh stumbles forward, almost tripping up yet again, but manages to steady himself and Momoshiro from falling. Momoshiro's hands are twisted into his shirt, grabbing it tightly so he won't be able to run away. "Tell me why you're avoiding it! Why did you do it!?" Momoshiro asks in this urgent voice.

Why? Why Kaidoh did it? Kaidoh doesn't really have an answer. His body had been wanting to for a while now, this weird and uncontrollable urge to simply press his lips against Momoshiro's. He'd been able to suppress it, or at least, as much as Kaidoh could, but when he started thinking that perhaps … Momoshiro wanted it too …

Well, obviously Kaidoh had been wrong. It really was a mistake. One that he would like to forget now.

"Why won't you even look at me?" Momoshiro sounds unhinged, or perhaps that's Kaidoh's wishful thinking, that maybe, Momoshiro feels as messed up as he does.

Kaidoh can't look at Momoshiro. He can't let him see his face. It'll show everything. All of the feelings he's tried to hide, his shame, his regret, his urges, his stupid butterfly feelings—Kaidoh can't face him like this. If he would, Kaidoh doesn't know what he'd do. What Momoshiro would do.

But most importantly, there's still this part inside of him, this stupid guilty and shameful part of him, that wants to do it again. And if Kaidoh faces Momoshiro, he knows that disgusting part will surge up to the surface again, and who knows what he'll be doing then. He doesn't trust himself to control himself anymore, not after the first time went over so fantastically.

"Why!" Momoshiro demands to know again, shaking Kaidoh's shirt. It's sending chills down Kaidoh's back.

"Because!" Kaidoh hastily shouts. "Because …" he says more softly this time. "When I look at you I …" Kaidoh promptly shuts his mouth; he's said too much already.

He can feel Momoshiro lean closer to his back, and it's slowly starting to get covered in cold sweat from the proximity. "You what?" Momoshiro tugs on Kaidoh's shirt again, like a kid demanding for his candy. "You _what_ , Kaidoh?"

Kaidoh hisses. "Nothing. Nevermind. Forget about it."

"Like hell I will!" Momoshiro yells out. Then he hits Kaidoh in his back with his elbow—keeping him stunned long enough that he could circle around Kaidoh and stand in front of him for a direct confrontation. Momoshiro places both his hands on top of Kaidoh's shoulders to keep him grounded, to prevent him from moving at all. His fingers digs into Kaidoh's skin, and it actually hurts. But nothing hurts more than that dreaded feeling in his stomach, and that ache in his heart, knowing that what he did was not reciprocated.

Desperate to still hide himself from Momoshiro, Kaidoh turns his face away, blushing like mad still, and even shaking. Why can't Momoshiro leave him alone!? Why must he always demand answers!? Why couldn't he be stupid like he always is, and simply punch Kaidoh to get it over with. Kaidoh can deal with punches. Kaidoh can't deal with this.

"Why can't you look at me?" Momoshiro asks once more.

"I hate you …" Kaidoh grits out. "I really do." He hates everything about Momoshiro, but the thing he hates the most, is that even he can't fool himself into believing that. He doesn't hate Momoshiro at all. No matter how irritating he is, how annoying his habits are—Kaidoh honestly does not hate a single thing about him. He can't bring himself to. His stupid sparkly feelings prohibit him from hating anything about the moron. Instead, it makes everything almost seem endearing, sometimes it even makes Kaidoh happy.

"No you don't," Momoshiro points out. Kaidoh huffs, but doesn't respond. "I want to know ..." And suddenly Momoshiro's hands are all over Kaidoh's face, heat flares up to his cheeks, and renders Kaidoh speechless. Momoshiro forces him to turn his head to face him, but everything feels rigid like he's some sort of robot, and Kaidoh tries to protest—he really tries to, but the feeling of Momoshiro's warm hands on his face is overwhelming, and gentle, and it feels like it's all he ever wanted. Kaidoh feels completely at war with himself here, as there's this spark shooting through him that's making him want to stay, yet he still remembers what happened the last time Momoshiro's hands touched him, and that makes him want to run away.

Eventually, he does end up facing Momoshiro, but his eyes will look at anything but him. He can't. Simply can't.

"Why?" Momoshiro asks, his voice suddenly all serious.

It's all Momoshiro's fault, Kaidoh thinks. That's why. He's the one that made Kaidoh feel like this, to have this unexplainable feeling well up inside of him, making him have weird thoughts and urges he couldn't keep under control. And the idiot doesn't even realize it.

"You are such a clueless idiot," Kaidoh says in frustration. "It's all your fault!" If only he hadn't … if only Momoshiro hadn't … "If you hadn't fallen asleep that time, I could have been fine without you!" Kaidoh barks at him.

"Huh, what are you talking about?" Momoshiro asks, sounding confused. "Are you still hung up about that? Geez, I already said I was sorry! What more do you want from me!?"

"You really don't remember, do you." Why does Momoshiro get to be lucky and not remember? Why can't Kaidoh have been the one to have fallen asleep? Then this would have never happened, then he'd never have these feelings for Momoshiro, and he'd never be here talking to him in this mortified state.

"Remember _what?_ "

Kaidoh hisses. He wishes Momoshiro would stop holding his face already, because it's encouraging him to be more talkative, and that's a very bad thing. "You … fell asleep on me like a dumb oaf." _And kissed him._ And then Kaidoh _hugged_ him, like he didn't have a care in the world. Then he kissed him _too._

By then, he had already crossed the line, there was no turning back. Something inside of Kaidoh had started growing. Or perhaps, it had always been there before, staying dormant and hidden away, until Momoshiro's lips hit his, and it sprang into life. And since then, it's done nothing but grow larger and larger. Even now, when Kaidoh's so desperately trying not to look at him, and to prevent himself from feeling too much—it's still there. It's still craving Momoshiro's touch, it's still making him shake and tremble in front of the person that caused it all.

Stupid fucking Momoshiro. Kaidoh really wants to hate him.

"Yeah, so fucking what?" Momoshiro says and huffs out loud.

Kaidoh shifts his weight around on his feet—he feels like he can't stay upright much longer. "You fell asleep … on me." Kaidoh can't say it outright. Because if he'll do, then he'll have to say the K word, and that's the word he'll definitely never say out loud in front of Momoshiro.

"…And?"

"Ugh, stupid moron. It doesn't matter. Let me go already." Kaidoh shakes his head, hoping to throw Momoshiro's hands off of him, but to no avail. Momoshiro won't let him go.

In fact, Momoshiro squashes his hands hard against Kaidoh's cheeks, preventing him from moving at all. And then suddenly there's a tug, and Kaidoh's face is moving forwards, until unexpectedly his lips are being touched by Momoshiro's. In an instant, Kaidoh has forgotten all about not looking at Momoshiro, and his eyes fly wide open and stare at Momoshiro in shock, before hastily pushing himself away from Momoshiro, as far away as he can.

His heart is beating like a painful drum. "What the hell, Momoshiro?" What the ever loving fuck?

"Well—you did it too!" Momoshiro explains impatiently. "I figured if I did it too, then maybe I'd know why you did it."

Kaidoh simply looks at Momoshiro, completely flabbergasted; he can't process what happened. It feels like some kind of stupid joke.

_Momoshiro just kissed him._

"So why did you do it?" Momoshiro asks, suddenly looking away from Kaidoh.

No, don't think too much of it, Kaidoh, don't misunderstand again. Momoshiro might have just kissed him, but that's only because he's fucking with Kaidoh. Yeah. He's messing with him. This is a thousand times more worse than a punch—a kiss that didn't mean a damn thing.

"Why?" Kaidoh repeats, sounding angry.

"Yeah, why."

"I …" Kaidoh stops, suddenly remembering he's supposed to be a coward, and not tell Momoshiro anything at all. "Mis … misunderstood." Oh yeah, he definitely misunderstood. Which is why Kaidoh is not allowing himself to misunderstand the kiss that happened only seconds ago. It didn't happen because Momoshiro wanted to. It didn't happen for the same reasons Kaidoh had. And that's why he can't view it as anything else but another way to mess with him, because Momoshiro sure loves doing that. Fuck him.

"You misunderstood what exactly?"

Kaidoh hisses awkwardly and stares at the ground. Why is Momoshiro still questioning him? Hasn't he had this fun already? Does he really feel the need to torment Kaidoh any further? That stupid fleeting kiss was already torment enough for his entire life. He wants to punch Momoshiro for doing it, but feels weird about it, since Momoshiro hasn't punched him yet for the one Kaidoh gave him. And his lips still feel all tingly and pleasant, and it's wrecking his heart.

The only thing Momoshiro seems interested in right now, is finding out why Kaidoh did it in the first place. Perhaps he'd like some answers first, then he'll punch him. But it's not like Kaidoh can explain—hell will freeze over first before he will talk to Momoshiro about any of his feelings for him. But then again, at that moment, Kaidoh really did think he wasn't alone. In that hazy afterglow of the sunset, with Momoshiro looking at him like he was the only thing that mattered, with Momoshiro's hand on his face, touching him voluntarily, everything had pointed into the direction of Momoshiro also … "I thought you …" Kaidoh says, trailing off.

"Thought I what?" Momoshiro takes a step closer, and Kaidoh doesn't even attempt to run away this time, though he still won't look at him directly.

Stupid persistent Momoshiro, Kaidoh is unable to resist him like this any longer. The more he questions Kaidoh, the more Kaidoh will crack under pressure. "You wanted to …" Kaidoh sucks in a breath, "too."

There, he said it.

"Me?" Momoshiro repeats in this incredulous voice. "What, how'd you get that idea—wait, _too?_ "

Kaidoh grunts, and snaps his head up at Momoshiro, glaring at him. The stupid fucking idiot—does he not get it still? How much clearer can Kaidoh get his message across?

Well, regardless, Kaidoh prefers if Momoshiro doesn't know at all, he can continue to act like a clueless moron, and perhaps he can forget about everything, and they can go back to normal. Yes, Kaidoh would definitely prefer this.

"I said forget about it …" Kaidoh says slowly. Momoshiro's still looking at him, and it's driving his anxiety up the wall. "It doesn't matter. It was a mistake. Yeah, a stupid one." Stupid is probably the biggest understatement of the year.

Momoshiro quickly starts glaring back at Kaidoh. "You're the stupid one!"

Something settles down inside of Kaidoh, like a storm finally coming to an end. Momoshiro yelling at him is something that is normal, a routine; Kaidoh can deal with that. A questioning Momoshiro who randomly kisses him is definitely not something he knows how to deal with, so seeing Momoshiro say something stupid to pick a fight with him, sets him at ease. So he engages it, even if only to further the delusion that things can be okay between the both of them.

"Asshole, why don't you go jump off a bridge and leave me alone already." The insult feels natural, and Kaidoh even hisses without stuttering.

"I'll only jump if you'll jump."

His nausea subsides a little; please keep on arguing with him like this. "Then you'll be waiting for an eternity. I'll just push you off, okay?"

"I'll drag you down with me."

"Even when you're plummeting to your death you're still an asshole." But honestly, Kaidoh likes that Momoshiro is an asshole.

"At least I don't regret any of my mistakes."

"Your entire life has been a mistake," Kaidoh says with a huff. Perhaps, maybe—they can be normal again? Can he really hope for that? With their regular banter like this, it feels like nothing really happened between them.

"Watch your mouth Mamushi," Momoshiro warns.

His nickname makes Kaidoh's heart pound hopefully. Yeah, maybe they can go back to normal. Maybe Kaidoh's fears of Momoshiro calling him disgusting and never wanting to see him again had just been that, irrational fears. He might have mistaken Momoshiro's intentions at first, but perhaps Kaidoh doesn't have to suffer for his mistake; they can fight like normal if they forget it even happened.

"Or what?" he challenges back. Kaidoh will take any threat from Momoshiro as long as he isn't telling him to get out of his life forever.

"Or …" Momoshiro bites his lip. "This time, it won't be a mistake."

"Huh?" Kaidoh straightens up, suddenly forgetting about his bundle of nerves. "What are you talking about?"

"Hey, let's go back to our room already, I'm pretty sure you don't enjoy hanging out here in this park late at night." Momoshiro smirks at him.

Kaidoh feels like he's rushing through a tunnel, wind blowing all around him, making him confused, frazzled, and he has no idea where the end is. He doesn't know how this will end, this thing between him and Momoshiro, but simply hearing those words— _let's go back to our room_ —is enough to make Kaidoh breathe out a sigh in relief. A heavy weight is lifted off his shoulders, and he's thankful, no—extremely _grateful_ , that Momoshiro is willing to overlook this, to pretend it didn't happen. That he is still willing to speak to Kaidoh, and even sleep with him in the same room. That he hadn't called him disgusting, or punched him, or did any of the things that Kaidoh's mind kept imagining.

No, Momoshiro is smirking at him, talking to him like on any other day. Like everything is normal.

Well, if Momoshiro thinks it's normal, then Kaidoh will too.

"Y-yeah … okay." Kaidoh curses himself for stuttering, but he can't help still feeling on edge. Like Momoshiro is going to turn around, laugh in his face, and call him disgusting either way. But he'll take what he can get right now, and slowly creeps towards Momoshiro, still feeling out of his element.

"Oh, and one last thing, Kaidoh," Momoshiro says.

Kaidoh braces himself, holding his breath. "W-what?" he asks, completely nervous again.

"When we get back, you better suck me off this time."

What the fuck. "Asshole, I told you that's not what mouths are for!" Kaidoh yells back without even thinking about it.

Momoshiro simply snickers and starts to walk away. Kaidoh is stumped, and completely exhausted. Is that it? Is that the confrontation that he'd been dreading so much? Momoshiro didn't even punch him, or call him disgusting—or any of the things he's imagined. No, he's simply … being Momoshiro again.

And that's more than Kaidoh could have asked for. Perhaps, he doesn't need to change roommates after all … so he chases after Momoshiro.

****

**oOo**

"What are you doing?" Momoshiro asks, eyeing Kaidoh who is standing near the door, with his arms awkwardly hugging his own sides.

"N-nothing," Kaidoh says nervously. Even though Momoshiro is acting normally again, Kaidoh still feels this unresolved tension between them, like it's impossible for Kaidoh to act normal too, especially when Kaidoh's unsure what normal even means now.

"Stop doing nothing then," Momoshiro remarks with a huff. He sounds impatient, like he's waiting for Kaidoh to do something. The thought alone terrifies Kaidoh—what the hell is he waiting for then!?

Kaidoh hisses in frustration, letting his arms drop to his sides naturally, and opting to stare at the floor instead. He doesn't know what to do. Is he supposed to forget about it all? Not ever mention it? Don't ever talk about it? Now that it happened, with so many of Momoshiro's rules broken, Kaidoh feels like they need new ones, because otherwise, Kaidoh can't function. He's too scared of doing _anything_ at the moment. Though on the other hand, he's pretty glad Momoshiro hasn't kicked him out, and he's still acting like the dumbass he always is. It makes Kaidoh want to smile, but then he remembers the awkward situation they're in, and he starts to hug his sides all defensively again.

"Seriously, stop that, it's annoying," Momoshiro says, looking over at Kaidoh again. "Just unpack your shit already, it's been bothering me all day long seeing that bag sitting at your bed."

Kaidoh moves away from the wall at lightning speed, hurrying over towards his bag, like it's evidence that quickly needs to be covered up, otherwise it'll remind the both of them why it's been sitting there unpacked, and Kaidoh would rather avoid another confrontation. Quickly opening up his bag, Kaidoh takes out some of his books and clothes, keeping his back turned to Momoshiro. Even though he did that, he can still feel Momoshiro's eyes on him, it's making his stomach do flip flops, and it's a bit nauseating. Why must he torture Kaidoh so?

With Momoshiro's eyes on him, Kaidoh becomes excruciatingly slower, his movements almost robotic.

"Ahh—you're taking too long! Let me help." Suddenly Momoshiro is at Kaidoh's side, and his hands are all over his bag, taking out more books, and his arm slides up against Kaidoh's.

Kaidoh's face flushes with red; what the hell is that idiot doing!? Isn't this super awkward right now!? He hisses at the idiot. "Don't, I can do it myself," he grumbles.

"Shut up, you're too slow. Accept my help, you stupid snake." Momoshiro prods his elbow into Kaidoh's arm, before he turns towards Kaidoh's desk and shoves his books into his drawer. Kaidoh wants to protest that those don't go there, and they go on the shelf instead, but he's feeling a bit too overrun with butterflies to really respond anymore. Instead, he begrudgingly accepts Momoshiro's stupid help.

Even if it is awkward as hell, and Kaidoh's hyperaware of how close he is, and how much Kaidoh feels the urge to touch him.

No, bad Kaidoh—those are bad feelings. He can't touch Momoshiro willy-nilly anymore. Not after what happened last time.

When they've both completed the very mundane—yet completely awkward—task of cleaning out Kaidoh's bag, Momoshiro turns to him. Probably to say something stupid, to insult Kaidoh for being so slow. Kaidoh gladly welcomes it, especially after he feels his cheeks being all red, and his fingers are shaking, and his legs are trembling. He could use the distraction of a fight with words.

Except Momoshiro doesn't say anything. Simply continues to look Kaidoh right in the eye, making him extremely uncomfortable with the power of his gaze. What's he doing? Is he waiting for Kaidoh to say thanks?

"Uhh …" Kaidoh pauses, still unsure. "You didn't need to help … but uhm, thanks. I guess." He scratches the back of his head.

Then all of the sudden, Momoshiro catches Kaidoh's wrist, forcing it away from his head, and down to his side. Kaidoh doesn't have much time to protest, because in less than a second, Momoshiro has drawn himself closer to Kaidoh, close enough for their chests to bump, and close enough for Momoshiro to smack his lips against Kaidoh's.

This time, it's instant; Kaidoh punches Momoshiro in the face.

"Ahh—what the fuck Kaidoh!" Momoshiro screams, holding his cheek with his hand and whimpering in front of Kaidoh.

It takes Kaidoh a few seconds to realize what happened, and what he did on instinct. Did Momoshiro … kiss him?

"What the hell Momoshiro—don't just suddenly k—k … d-don't just do that!" Kaidoh yells back at him, his nostrils flaring up and his cheeks turning even more red.

Momoshiro growls at him. "You're the one that wanted to in the first place! Jesus Kaidoh, that fucking hurt."

Kaidoh backs away and starts hugging his sides again, his cheeks betraying his embarrassment once more. His lip are all tingly and warm. "I … didn't … say anything …" What is Momoshiro trying to say here? That he'll kiss Kaidoh because Kaidoh wanted to?

What in the world is going on?

"Yeah you did, dumbass. Unless you're saying you _don't_ want to all of the sudden." Momoshiro rubs his cheek and gives Kaidoh a death glare.

Kaidoh spends a long time huddled away from Momoshiro, unable to look at him anymore, and trying to control his stupid blush, and those stupid butterflies flying around in his stomach. He hisses. Momoshiro is making everything weird again—perhaps Kaidoh was right after all, they can't go back to normal. This is definitely not normal. He can't tell if Momoshiro is fucking with him by spontaneously kissing him all the time, or if he's genuinely … interested in it. No. That can't be true—Momoshiro is simply fucking with him.

"Moron—you were the one that made up that rule!" Kaidoh fires back. Somehow, if he's angry at Momoshiro, he manages to find his voice again, despite feeling infinitely embarrassed at the same time as well.

Momoshiro chews on his lips for a bit, and Kaidoh is strangely pulled in by the simple action, but he shakes those weird thoughts right out of his mind. Stupid Momoshiro. Stupid lips. Stupid feelings. Why can't he stop being weird?

"When have you ever listened to me anyway!?" Momoshiro asks. He rubs his cheek one more time, then straightens up his back and faces Kaidoh head on. "Idiot," he mutters.

Is he … ?

Did Momoshiro say—albeit in a rather roundabout way—that Kaidoh can go ahead and kiss him? There's a rush of adrenaline shooting through Kaidoh's veins at Momoshiro's words, like he's infected him with a virus, a virus that's making him spin out of control. Kaidoh reacts completely on instinct when he yanks Momoshiro close to him by grabbing the collar of his shirt, and he smooches their faces together; lips awkwardly aligned. Then Kaidoh lets go of Momoshiro's shirt, and pulls away, staring at him wide-eyed, and out of breath, and _oh-god-what-did-he-just-do?_ What if he misunderstood Momoshiro's words again?

Momoshiro only takes a second to glare at Kaidoh, before he's the one yanking Kaidoh's shirt, and smashing their faces together. Their teeth painfully collide, and both of them recoil back from the pain, groaning out loud as they do so. Then they look at each other again, and it's unsure who's the one moving this time, as both of them reach for the other man's lips. This time, they don't miss, and their lips are pressed together. A bit awkwardly, a bit rushed, but Kaidoh's got so many good feelings rushing through him that he doesn't care about anything at all anymore, except for Momoshiro's lips. Which are on his, and suddenly they're making the most embarrassing sucking noises that makes Kaidoh's ears heat up and turn red—yet he doesn't give a single fuck.

After all, he's out of fucks to give when Kaidoh seems to be kissing Momoshiro, and Momoshiro seems to be kissing Kaidoh. It's trial and error, they go about it rushed and rough, lips smacking against each other over and over again. Kaidoh still can't believe it; he's actually doing it. The urge to kiss Momoshiro is finally being satisfied.

It's even better than what his fantasies could have come up with.

There's nothing Kaidoh can compare it too—it simply feels rough, his lips are kind of throbbing with blood, and it's a little bit painful, but Kaidoh kinda likes it like that. It's like they're trying to bruise each other by sucking as hard as they can, not to mention Momoshiro's hands are on Kaidoh's back (how'd they get there?) and he's scratching his fingernails down Kaidoh's spine. Everything is suddenly so violent, and it's overwhelming Kaidoh with sensations. It's as if he's gotten drunk for the first time, or perhaps high on some kind of Momo drug.

They briefly break away from each other, and both their lips look abused and cherry red. Kaidoh stares at Momoshiro, and Momoshiro stares at Kaidoh. They breathe, harsh and ragged. Momoshiro's hands are still on Kaidoh's back, and Kaidoh's hands are on Momoshiro's chest, as if suddenly the rule to not touch each other has been completely wiped from existence. He can feel Momoshiro's erratic heartbeat thump against the palm of his hand.

Momoshiro removes one hand from Kaidoh's back, and rubs the back of it against his lips. Kaidoh follows every movement, hyper aware of everything he's doing, and wondering if things are going to continue like this, or if Momoshiro is going to say he's having second thoughts.

"I guess this kind of sucking off is fine too," Momoshiro says with a cocky grin. He looks so confident, so arrogant, Kaidoh sort of wants to punch his face again.

But no, instead, Kaidoh leans in closer, tilting his face to the right, and slowly presses his lips up against Momoshiro's again. Partly to shut him up, and mostly because he wanted to kiss him again. Momoshiro doesn't hesitate, and presses back with more pressure. At least Kaidoh isn't being delusional; Momoshiro is honestly kissing him out on his own accord. And if the clingy hand on Kaidoh's back is any indication, it's safe to say …

They definitely broke all the rules, and it's probably the best thing ever.

That night, they're completely naked as they jerk each other off, and—whenever there's enough oxygen to permit them to—they kiss. They kissed all night long.

****

**oOo**

Kaidoh toes his sneaker into a pile of sand, then quickly retreats it as some of it gets stuck inside his sneaker, and hisses in annoyance. He grips his racket tighter and stands up straight, looking around for someone he knows.

Or well, who is he kidding—he's looking for Momoshiro. Because today, he's joining the tennis club. He's quit the track and field club, and is completely prepared to join up this time for real.

Kaidoh scans the area for a spiked-haired idiot, which doesn't take long, as Momoshiro is running around laps around the tennis court, showing off his regular jacket. It actually quite suits him, Kaidoh thinks. Not that he'll tell Momoshiro this. He grunts and keeps his head down, walking over towards the court. Momoshiro eventually spots him, stops his running, and heads directly over to Kaidoh.

Kaidoh looks at Momoshiro, and Momoshiro looks at Kaidoh.

He waits for it—the jesting, the jeering, the name calling, the 'hah I told you so!', anything to make Momoshiro feel smug about himself.

Momoshiro simply gives Kaidoh a smirk. "Wanna have a match?" he asks.

Kaidoh can't resist a tiny and relieved looking smile. "Yeah."


End file.
